Summary: When is love considered a sin? Is it when you love behind a person's back or is it when you love more than you think? Roy Mustang only wanted to love and be loved but sometimes love takes away the only thing we have…our innocence. RoyxEd

Author's note: Rated T for most parts…there are lots of cursing going on around here. It's also romance/ Drama/ tragedy. I don't know why but it seems as though it's my favorite kind of genre. Yes, people I'm a girl and don't even ask why the hell I wrote this kind of story!!! My fucking cousin forced me to do this for her!!! Under the condition that I get at least 100 bucks for a job well done and the embarrassment included!!!

Disclaimer: If I claim this anime mine…will it make everyone else mad at me: P

Love takes our innocence

Chapter 1

Forbidden Desires

Edward Elric, age 18, stared out the window from inside the train his brother, Alphonse Elric, and he were aboard. Their train was halfway back to central already and 15 minutes from now they were going to see the bastard again. Ed was about to take chances going to Lior and find some information about the philosopher's stone when an agitated Roy Mustang called them and told them to go back to central as soon as possible.

Why was Colonel Bastard always like that? Roy would just verbally abuse him and tell him that all he was doing was a goose-chase and that everything is nothing but a big joke to begin with. For Edward, none of that which happened to them was a joke. He lost his left arm and his right leg to attach the soul of his brother who disintegrated before him to a metal. All of that trouble just to bring back their mother save the fact that he was ignorant enough to even try a thing he knew was dangerous from the very beginning.

You'd think Mustang would be a little considerate but he just had to ruin every perfect momentum Ed has. He never even complains about things such as degrading his report as if it was nothing compared to what that bastard has done and acting as if he was the coolest guy on earth…

"Brother, you're doing it again." Al said to his older brother who snapped out of his monologues.

"Huh? Doing what now?"

"You're talking to yourself once again. You know… monologues that include your ranting about Colonel Mustang."

"I can't help myself, Al. That half-assed punk just pisses my guts out of me. I bet you that when I enter his little house of menagerie he's going to piss me off again."

"But, brother, Colonel Mustang is kind. He helped you become a state alchemist, remember. And Equivalent exchange…"

"Fuck that Equivalent exchange!!!" Ed, in absolute anger, maybe not to Al but definitely about the Colonel

"The only Equivalent exchange he'll get from me is a kick in the ass! His help was no help, Al! We were the ones who brought ourselves up. I was the one who passed the exam!"

"But if not for him, you wouldn't even be admitted to the exams."

"A whole lot easier than losing an arm to me. And don't even think for a minute that I didn't hear a word that he said while I was unconscious from the attempt."

He stopped short from his last statement and stared out of the window once more. He remembered when they attempted to bring back their mother back to life. It was like 2 minutes in hell and the previous near death experiences he'd had during his work as a state alchemist can never compare to that day. He thought he had already lost everything but because of that he realized that there's more things he can lose than he can imagine.

That day was full of blood. His brother was crying out for help as he himself was trying to process what was happening. Ed did the only thing he can: attached his brother's body to a hulking suit of armor. Before he could even realize it, his left arm and right leg were gone, just like that. The next thing he can remember was that he was unconscious, at least, Winry and aunt Pinako thought so. However, he PRETENDED to be unconscious still when he heard Roy's voice and for a split second, he opened his eyes to take a glance.

What he thought he saw was something very different from his perspective of that bastard now. The first time he saw Roy Mustang, pretending to be unconscious, he saw a pair of eyes staring down at him with deep concern. That Mustang then was one whose name will never be forgotten in his mind. Somehow, Ed was mesmerized by the eyes that swirl with care for him, kind of like the stare her mother has for both Al and he when she was still alive.

Now, the Mustang that he knows of will never be forgotten for one thing: Being a bastard. Roy Mustang is definitely different from the other Roy Mustang that came in the Rockbelle's household some 8 years ago. But he must admit that Roy still was the charmer he used to be even now…

Wait…WHAT?!!!

"Charmer?" thought Ed out loud. Al didn't even bother figuring out what that meant since he knew his brother would claim that it was definitely nothing.

About 10 minutes apart from his little musings, the train finally arrived at central and things didn't go any easier for Ed. He was already trying to work through his head what the hell Mustang wanted him back so badly for. As the train moved to a final stop, Ed reached out to the Baggage carrier to get his belongings, much to his frustration that Al needed to help because he can't reach it ("Who are you calling short that he can't even reach out to get his bag?!)

When they stepped out of the train, what they saw was none the less Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes in a salute with none other than Colonel Mustang and other guys that he didn't recognize. He glanced over at Mustang who, unlike all the others, was not in a salute. No, he didn't glare, just glanced.

"Back from your usual wild goose-chase, I see. Days pass by pretty fast, huh full metal?" Roy in his usual smug expression that always drives Ed crazy in anger.

"What high talk for a Colonel…Can't even salute to someone like me?" Ed answered back, trying to even up the gap.

"And why should I? Why should an officer, a colonel, salute to an underdog such as yourself, Full metal? Or are you forgetting that it is you who should show some respect?"

There was an awkward silence and a glare came from the full metal alchemist. That glare would've scared the living daylights out of anyone if they have not been Roy Mustang who was patiently waiting for the salute to come. And come, it did, when Ed decided that he might as well do so if he'd want to figure out why Mustang had to call him back in such a crucial moment such as this one.

"Good. Seems like you've changed a bit, Edward." Commented Roy after a short while. Not to mention that when Roy called his name, it almost sent Ed blushing. Roy would've taken notice if not for the urgent request the Fuhrer had. Turning his attention to Maes, he commanded.

"Major Hughes, please escort Alphonse Elric to the station. Alphonse, wait there for your brother."

"And what do you mean by that exactly?" inquired Ed, looking from Roy to Maes. Roy only signaled him to follow, probably making sure that Al won't hear a single word they will be talking about. Knowing Roy, it must be something seriously important or else he wouldn't have bothered coming to the station to pick them up himself.

It was the second time that he did so. The first was when he was about to take the test for state alchemists. Roy waited for him until he was able to catch up. The man's strides were long compared to his legs that were still as they were when he was 15.

"So why did you call me back? This'd better be something important, Mustang." Warned Ed. Predictably, Roy only smirked and continued on walking without saying a word. When they had reached the limo and escorts opened the door. Both men sat down and relaxed as the car began to move. Ed was actually surprised that he was nervous just because he was about an inch close to Roy but he shook it off his thoughts.

"Are you going to tell me or are you going to keep me guessing until I beat the hell out of you?"

"Honestly speaking, I'd like to see you try but even I am not that stupid. Fuhrer ordered me to get you back. He wants you to do something for him." Said Roy as his expression turned from the usual smug little son of a bitch to a Colonel who looks like he really means business.

"Oh, so the Fuehrer finally realizes that he can use me anytime he wants to. That's great, not only am I your underdog but I'm also the servant of the great King Bradley."

"This is a serious matter, Edward. There would be no joking around here, The Fuhrer commanded and you shall obey."

"Who said I was joking around? No one's laughing. And about obeying the Fuhrer, what does he want me to do?"

At Ed's word, Roy got a folder resting beside him and gave them to Ed. Ed, in return, scanned the file and was actually shocked to see the Philosopher's stone enter the report. He quickly flipped across the other pages and everything seems to be connected. From the red water, to Dr. Marco…to human transmutation.

"These are just reports, Mustang. What are you and the fuehrer getting at?" asked Ed, not taking his eyes off the files.

"Maybe to you they're just reports but it's much more than that." A little pause from Mustang as he looked outside yet to look back and turn his focus on Ed.

"Remember that those files also contain your reports and they're all connected to one thing…"

"The philosopher's stone."

"Exactly. It's a manhunt, I tell you, Fullmetal. The fuehrer has never been this desperate to find the stone before and yet now he's constantly pressuring all the remaining officers to search for the stone. Almost everyone is going up against the wall…everyone except you that is."

"And by that you mean…?"

"The fuehrer requested your help. Meaning you can either decline or accept his request but if you want to be backed up with your search for the stone I suggest that you accept what he asks of you. It sounds weird to actually think that I care but the stone really is needed."

"The needed part, I understand, but why would the fuehrer pressure all of you? I mean he's a nice man, it makes no sense. Of all the people who need it the most, it's got to be me."

"Do you remember scar, Fullmetal?" inquired Roy, his voice sounding dark and distant from the real Roy. Even his focus was distant; he was staring outside the window actually. He could've cursed Roy right now if not for the fact that the bastard was very serious at that moment.

"Of course, I remember." Ed answered, touching his automail hand. "How could I forget? That son of a bitch completely destroyed my automail hand. Not to mention ruining half of Al's body. It took me a week to get back to my job. And then there was Nina…" his voice trailed off as he recalled the disembodied figure he saw when he was 11.

"About 29 alchemists have been killed in central alone. 39 casualties have been reported and still counting. Chances are only the stone can stop all this. Didn't Dr. Marco…?"

"I'm afraid not. When we arrived on central library, almost everything was gone about the philosopher's stone. It was as if someone deliberately removed it."

A frown formed on the Colonel's face and his eyes were deadly. Ed knew that the situation was dangerous. Scar was straightforward as ever and he was no mediocre. The first time they fought, Ed had himself beaten by that punk that he actually thought it was the end for him and Al. He knew even Roy had come face to face with Scar but can do nothing because it was raining hard that day and as Maes had put it "Wet gloves can't produce a spark.'

Not a few moments later, they arrived at the office and neither man had made a sound. Ed had thought it was his imagination but when he quickly glanced over to Roy, he can actually see a face full of worry. This was not Roy Mustang at all. The Roy he knew would always be smug no matter, maybe this was more dangerous than he thought it was.

Before Ed had actually reached out to open the door, Roy put a hand on his shoulder and said "Fullmetal…Before you face the fuehrer, I have one thing to ask you." "Ask away, chief."

There was a little pause. An awfully long silence came before Roy smirked and asked in his usual tone "Have you grown an inch?"

Ed didn't even bother answering his question although he has to admit that he was glad Roy noticed this little detail. He can't explain why but somehow he wasn't the least bit irritated by that and what the hell was that look on Mustang's eyes when he asked him that hell of a question? It looked as if it had some meaning to it, like it was some kind of desire. Of course, it came natural to him that he can't get it out of his head, the eyes that looked at him with deep longing.

The blonde alchemist had actually thought it was a cute sight. How about that? Colonel bastard may just as well like him and after all these years he actually thought Roy was straight what with all the comments about girls in miniskirts and such. He figured that there was something going on with Riza Hawkeye and Roy, maybe there was nothing after all. The weird thing was, he didn't even know why he was so relieved with his notion.

Thinking deeper than he thought he was, Ed had actually no idea how the hell he got inside the fuehrer's office. He then absent-mindedly saluted at the man in front of him. Now that he thought about it, he was really envious of the fuehrer's height, as childish as that may sound. The fuehrer had a height that Ed couldn't reach even if he had taken pills for growth.

"Edward Elric, I'm so glad you can come. And here I thought you wouldn't make it." Said the fuehrer, signaling both of them to sit down the couch. Both man followed and allowed themselves to relax for awhile. "I believe the Colonel has already informed you of why I wanted you back here as soon as possible or didn't he?"

"Yes, the colonel has informed me." Responded Ed as he watched the fuehrer's secretary pour down tea into his cup. He muttered thanks to the young woman before taking a sip. Roy, on the other hand, just stared at the cup with no intention of drinking it. "That's very good. And what do you think?" inquired the fuehrer with a smile, taking a sip from his own cup before continuing "Do you think it is worthy enough of your attention, Fullmetal? Of course, once you accept, there will be no backing out."

Damn! The fuehrer knew what the answer was and yet he was still asking him. Glancing from the fuehrer to Roy who was unusually mute for the record, Ed sighed before draining his cup of tea "Actually, I kind of thought that maybe this is just another test. You know, to see how loyal I am to the military." Hearing his words, Roy closed his eyes and bent over to drink his tea, draining it all in one drink.

"But test or not, I have to find the philosopher's stone anyway. Simply put, why don't you count me in?"

"That's all I needed to hear, Edward." Said the fuehrer with a smile "But right now, I have matters to take care of, so you have time to relax. You'll be hearing from me in about a month or so. Till then relax and have fun. You too, Colonel."

"Don't worry, sir. I will. After all, I need to be up and running if worse comes to worse. Can't do me good if I'm tired right?" Roy in a voice full of respect. Sure as hell the respect he'll never get from the Flame alchemist. Basically, people call that respect but for Ed, that was what he called kissing up to higher officials. The fuehrer once again smiled and with one last salute, Roy bid his exit "Well, we'll be going now, sir. Till the next time then." And he and Ed finally left the office, leaving King Bradley in his quiet world.

"Well, Ed, that wasn't half as bad as you thought it was. Now all you have to do is wait for everything else to fall in place." Roy said, sounding really glad with his hands behind the back of his head. "You sound glad for someone who likes torturing guys like me."

"I'm not a bad man, Fullmetal. You're under my command and your success is my success in the eyes of the fuehrer. I like to keep my minions well."

Yup, Roy Mustang was back. As much as Ed hated to admit it, he was relieved. He even ignored the fact that Roy just called him his minion but he could let it pass just for the day. Ed was tired and he hardly needed to start an argument with his so called colonel again. "By the way, it's been quite some time since anyone has filled up the late Brigadier General Gran." Stated Ed, more to himself than to the raven haired man walking along side him.

"Ah, yes. The late brigadier general Gran. I've been fending off doing some work for the fuehrer, raising points so that I'll move up a rank forward. It's harder than I thought it was but well worth it. In two months you'll be surprised to see me sitting in the chair of that bastard."

"Bastard? You're the bastard, Mustang. He's a son of a bitch." Ed, with a smirk, although he can't compare who was the bigger bastard between the two. But judging by their looks, he'd say Roy had already won that. His eyes were full of emotions and his raven hair swinging gracefully as he walked. Roy had an unusual aura that attracted Ed to him. Gran on the other hand had eyes filled with malice and anger, he was bald, and to say the least he had a big mustache similar to Armstrong. Gran's aura was an aura full of bloody wars and unlike Roy, who was sorry for what he had done during the Ishbal rebellion, Gran couldn't care less about the lives he had destroyed.

Ed kept staring at Roy and Roy can't help but notice that and ask "Is there something on my face, Fullmetal?" it put Ed out of stupor for a moment causing him to stop walking. What in the world was happening to him? He was beginning to lose his sanity. He didn't talk or move and worse of all, he didn't know what to say to Roy. Is this what love felt like? If so, why a man? He dreamed of falling in-love with a woman, not a bastard. Winry was qualified but she was taller than him, can't do a man good if the wife was a tower and the groom was short.

Still, he stayed there, rooted on the spot, not moving an inch at all which worried the Colonel "What's the matter? Something wrong?" he said, walking nearer to Ed. Resting both of his hands on the other man's shoulder, he gently shook the Fullmetal alchemist "Hey, Edward, are you having a stand-still or something? Answer me." A little more seconds of silence before Ed replied in a voice and a personality hardly recognizable to be his "I'm fine…just thinking. Thanks for the worry, Roy. I'll be going now."

Removing Roy's hands from his shoulders, he walked towards the station where his brother was, leaving Roy in shock. He can't believe that Ed actually called him by his first name. Usually he'll just call him "Flame Alchemist" or "Mustang" or "Colonel" or "Bastard" but never Roy. He tried to ignore it and headed to his office. Once there, Roy started to read reports and the paperwork. His theory was, it could be that Ed was trying to be nice for once or maybe it was something else. After all, nothing but desire was written all over the Full metal's face.

Desire is such a dangerous thing. It is often called the door to the path of destruction. Everything we do is connected to desire and as humans, what defines us is our desire to become one. God created desire in such a way that we cannot recognize what it is until we are ready to give up everything we have until there is nothing. So attracted are we to this feeling that we do what God forbids. Like the way Eve desired the fruit and tempted Adam…it leads to what we call…death.

TBC

Authors note:

-People….

I have to remind you that this is my very first fic ever posted…

So be gentle in giving reviews

(If you'd ever bother to give me one, that is.)

I easily break…

Thank you for reading…

(Assuming that you DID read it.)