Author note: this is not to be taken seriously, it's basically something that popped into my head and I wanted to write it out. When i'm having trouble with a scene in my other story and need to get my mind off it I work on some other things like this.

I wanted this to be a crack fic but I seem to struggle with that but I won't worry about minor details here just a worry free story for me. Chapter two is also mostly done and I will post it later today or tomorrow.

Chapter 1: this is not Konoha.

Little Naruto was ecstatic for he was about to become a ninja.

Naruto had decided to start the Academy two years earlier than the normal start at age eight when he had overheard that there was no official starting age, he even heard some kid way back had graduated at age five.

He was only six but if some random kid could do it then so could he.

Unfortunately it had been way harder than he thought it would be from day one, he was already small for his age and having to keep up with eight year olds wasn't easy. He didn't understand a lot of what they taught and he didn't have anyone to help him at home, it didn't help that most of the teachers ignored him unless they had no other choice.

He was starting to worry that he would fail but he had no other options.

There was something wrong with him, the people in the village treated him differently than other kids. That wasn't the only strange part of his life, despite having no family he didn't live in the orphanage, he lived by himself with an occasional adult in a mask stopping by to check on him.

He knew no one ever called him smart but he wasn't stupid, there was something people weren't telling him.

But none of that mattered now because if he could be a ninja then all of that would change and Naruto had at last received help.

A teacher had seen how amazing he really was and told him that he just needed real experience, not all this useless book learning.

All naruto needed to do was go to the hokage's office and pick up a Scroll without being seen, his teacher had said that he would even secretly put his job on the line and help Naruto out by distracting the guards.

Naruto had latched onto this amazing chance and knew that despite every bad rumor Naruto had personally spread about this man that he was his new favorite teacher.

So that's exactly what Naruto did and he was shocked by how easy it actually was, clearly his teacher was right and Naruto was indeed a prodigy who was wasting his time in the Academy.

There was only one problem, here Naruto was in front of the Hokage's desk but there were more scrolls than there was supposed to be.

One rather large one that was as big as he was and three smaller ones that could fit in his pocket.

"fuck it I'll take all of them" Naruto decided, looking around to make sure no one heard him use the word that everyone seemed to say but he wasn't allowed to repeat. Naruto strapped the big scroll to his back and stuffed the others into his sweater pockets, then just as he was about to leave he had a brilliant thought.

( imagine how amazed he would be if I actually learned a ninjet no a nonjit um a ninja move from the scroll).

"I'm going to make you proud Mizuki" Naruto said as he took the biggest scroll off and rolled it out on the floor of the office.

###### an hour ago

Mizuki was currently terrified, he was about to become a dead ninja and his only hope was a six year old idiot.

All his troubles had started just this morning when some fool spy was caught by the Ibiki Morino, the spy was some little punk named Kabuto and now because of him the Hokage was on a manhunt for any shinobi with questionable past conduct.

He had learned all of this from Iruka, the idiot actually wanted to let him know so that he could prepare a defense for the incident on his last mission before he had become Iruka's assistant teacher and to tell him that he would stand by him.

Mizuki had almost cut him down right then out of sheer frustration, that this bitch would be his boss filled him with enough rage already and now he brings this to his attention now.

So he had set a desperate plan in motion, steal the Forbidden scroll and flee the village after sending the pursuers off the trail with a false lead. The fox brat would make the perfect scapegoat, if Mizuki was seen anywhere near the scroll he was a goner but even if most hated Naruto the Hokage liked the punk so he was often around the tower so Mizuki had lured the little fool in with lies and arranged everything for that very night.

It should have been easy, it wasn't.

First he had to distract the guards. He started a conversation in the front lobby and managed to keep the current guard shift on the first floor while he faced the entrance so he could stop anyone from walking upstairs long enough for Naruto to follow the plan and sneak in through the window as he had told him to.

Then the little shit had the balls to scoot through the front door on his hands and knees.

He nearly died of shock right there, that was the moment that Mizuki first realized that in his panicked state he had placed his life in the hands of a six year old.

(Did that little bastard even try the windows) Mizuki thought as he started talking louder and louder, the said bastard was now making duh duh dun noises for effect.

Mizuki would never know but Naruto had indeed not tried the windows but only because he had stopped paying attention to the plan after Mizuki stopped praising him, so most of the actual details besides go get the scroll were never heard.

"ha ha well I left some documents for the school upstairs in one of the offices" Mizuki said as he quickly left, glad that most weren't aware of the massive internal investigation that would start in a few hours.

The moment he turned the corner he dashed with everything he had to make sure the kid got the job done.

He didn't even make it to the staircase, Naruto was just around the next curve still on his knees and making spy noises.

Mizuki dropped to his knees and wept.

The next hour was spent distracting guards and disabling traps, he nearly lost his life no less than three times. It was to the point that he was almost ready to turn himself in for the crime if only to save his sanity.

However he persevered and at last he saw Naruto enter the office. It was over now, all he had to do was go back down to the lobby and wait for Naruto to pass. He would point him out to the receptionist just before the kid was out of sight and even if he was caught his alibi of trying to stop naruto would be secure.

Half way down a horrible idea came to mind.

( wait what if he screwed it up somehow?, no I clearly told him what to do… I'm expecting Naruto Uzumaki to have actually listened, damit ) Mizuki ran back.

He decided to see for himself, all logic gone from his mind because of stress. He opened the door and saw Naruto pressing a bloody hand print to a Seal.

The next moment a black portal opened up behind the kid and sucked him in.

The part of the scroll in his hands was torn away with him as the rest was shredded when the portal closed violently.

Mizuki again dropped to his knees in shock, how did a six year old kid even one named Naruto screw up a plan this badly.

"This wasn't the plan" Mizuki whispered to himself.

"oh really and what was the plan exactly?" a voiced asked in a tone that made Mizuki feel as if a blade was running across his neck.

He turned around to see the hokage standing there with death in his eyes.

#####

Naruto opened his eyes to a forest at night.

"who broke the moon?"

#####One week later.

Naruto Uzumaki was running for his little life from a very hungry pack of wolves.

It had been a strange week for little Naruto, one moment he was sitting in the Hokage tower and the next he was pulled into some freaky dark tunnel. Then to make it even worse halfway through he felt a violent tug on his stomach and a giant red monster was pulled out of him screaming something about his chalkraaaa.

It was terrifying and filled his head with some very difficult questions about his life just before he passed out

He then woke up to a broken moon and a forest that was definitely not anywhere near Konoha.

If it was any other kid in this situation they might panic and starve to death in a few days. Well Naruto was not any other kid.

He was used to being alone and he'd taken care of himself almost entirely since he was four.

So he laid out what he had, his clothes came first.

Dark blue ninja sandals the Academy recommended, black shorts with a vertical orange stripe that were a bit too large so they ended closer to his sandals than his knee.

He also had a white short sleeved t-shirt with an orange swirl on the front and an orange hoodie with a black swirl on the back.

He also had orange froggy boxers and his new goggles.

He had the torn part of what he figured had to be the Forbidden scroll and the three smaller ones. He emptied his other pockets and found a kunai he knew he wasn't supposed to have yet and and some paint tubes he also knew he wasn't allowed to have anymore.

So there Naruto stood looking at all his worldly possessions with a single thought.

"I might be screwed"

#####

After looking through the scrolls Naruto figured they were teaching guides for genin. One said basic chakra guide how to awaken and manipulate, one said teacher reference guide to teach the Academy basic jutsu, and the last said tree climbing and water walking optional for advanced students.

The torn part of the scroll showed a jutsu Naruto was confused about, it looked like one of the Academy ones so why was it in the Forbidden scroll?

Naruto let the mystery go as he decided to try to find his way back home while taking the chance to get a head start on the other students and learning to activate his chakra.

####

So that was how Naruto had spent the last week, learning to awaken and use chakra and foraging for food as he made his way toward where the sun rose.

Then the wolves found him, and he was running as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"bad doggies go away, go eat some stupid cat" Naruto yelled as he ran.

He dashed past trees and jumped over bushes. He cleared a small creak and slid down a hill but the wolves managed to keep gaining on him.

Then at the bottom of the hill Naruto ran into a pack of monster wolves as well.

He froze in terror as the black massive forms revealed themselves. Naruto looked back at the grey wolves coming down the hill to the bone spiked demons in front of him and shaking he took out his kunai, it was clearly too big for him.

"f fine b bring it on" Naruto said trying to be brave as one of the demons dashed straight toward him.

(I'm going to die) Naruto thought as he swung his kunai and closed his eyes as he felt… nothing?

Naruto opened his eyes and to his shock the monster had leaped over him and both packs were now fighting.

He was so relieved he felt his legs give as he dropped to his bottom.

He watched the battle in awe, the monsters were clearly winning but one did get overwhelmed and Naruto saw it disappear into black smoke.

When the last wolf was dead the largest monster wolf stalked up to him and Naruto froze.

Then it took one look and seemed interested, it circled him and sniffed. It couldn't seem to decide what Naruto was. It drew near to his face and Naruto stared straight into its burning red eyes. The monster gazed back before jerking away liked it had seen something in him that unnerved it.

It didn't flee though, it simple chose to ignore Naruto.

Naruto did not choose to ignore them, he touched his stomach and remembered what had happened in the tunnel. Did they sense the chakra he suspected that thing had left inside him.

Naruto, his fear forgotten as quickly as it had arrived, walked right up to one and started petting it.

The monster wolf looked even more confused, it even looked to its comrades for help. They ignored him, glad the strange creature that looked like the hated creations of the light god but did not smell like a creation of either god was leaving them alone. They sensed something similar to their creator inside him and it was freaky, was he a baby god of destruction?

The poor abandoned grim was then left to the mercy of a young child.

#####

Naruto was happy, the strange creatures he had found seemed to be either afraid of him or ignore him the best they could. That was pretty familiar and not what made him happy, the happy part was that they didn't seem to hate him and no other animal seemed willing to come near them. So he decided to follow them for a bit while he learned chakra.

He even had a favorite that he had finger painted his name on in orange that he named Haru.

"onward Haru" Naruto said from the back of his new steed.

#######

One month later Naruto was forced to face some harsh truths. He had yet to find a single human and his monster had runaway.

It had been a nice month before this all things considered.

He didn't have any trouble with animals as long as he stayed near Haru and the others and they occasionally killed an animal that came too close to their area but didn't seem to want to eat it so that was fair game. Naruto had known how to start a fire and cook for himself since he was five and so far he had only burned down one kitchen that the hokage had fixed in just two days. Which was fine, it wasn't his kitchen anyway.

Then a week ago he had at last seemed to awaken his chakra and could now make leaves stick to him so that was cool.

Unfortunately this freaked out Haru and his pack even more, the next morning he awoke to find them gone.

" Don't worry Haru I'm sure we'll meet again, I know the others made you do it" Naruto said to himself as he set out again in search of people.

The week had gone by and Naruto had started learning henge though with little progress so far.

"I can't find anyone, are there no fucking people around this shithole" Naruto said out loud.

He had started to use words he had heard adults us more often as well as talk to himself so he could hear at least his own voice.

He heard the sound of a river decided to find some much needed water. Hydration was a constant issue without a container.

##### another month passed.

Naruto was getting the hang of henge jutsu and had built himself a campsite in a cave nearby the river.

He had chosen it because it had the first sign of human life he had seen since he got to this crazy forest.

He didn't need to find the people who had made the fire pit and left their supplies.

They were already dead.

He had found their remains nearby with various tracks around them, tracks that looked familiar.

They were monster bear tracks, he had long since found other strange creatures besides Haru that included Bears and some kind of Boar.

"so they attack people but not me" Naruto said as he filled his new canteen.

He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

He was morbidly happy that he had more stuff though.

A week later and he was ready to find civilisation again.

#####

Naruto gazed down at the small town he had found after another month of searching but didn't take a step toward it.

A sudden and thought had occurred to him.

(What do I do now?)

Naruto had concentrated on finding people but did he want to get back to Konoha, could he.

He had realized that he might be on another planet or world like in a movie he had snuck into once.

So he might never find a way back and he couldn't imagine anyone who would try to find him this far. He had long since realized that he had been tricked and maybe now he was a fugitive. He wasn't sure he even wanted to go back so why try.

So maybe he could stay in this village? Naruto asked himself as he walked down the road.

######

An hour later a sad little figure walked back up the hill trying not to cry.

It was the same, the angry glares, the whispers. Being told to get out and stay out.

Naruto didn't understand, he had always hoped it was just Konoha but even in a strange world where no one had ever heard of him Naruto found that he was still hated.

So he left, this wasn't Konoha there were no guards to make him stay here. Naruto walked back to the forest and as he did his sadness turned to defiance.

"Fine I don't need those assholes, I've been doing great on my own. I even taught myself a jutsu so fuck them" Naruto said as he decided to head back to his campsite.

Naruto wouldn't know for a long time, that there was a reason that town had hated him. He had not seen his own appearance clearly in months but his eyes had changed after he had gone through the portal, specifically after Kurama was torn from his gut.

His blues eyes were now slitted like a beasts and he had walked into the one town in a hundred miles where Faunus were not only hated but not even allowed to stay permanently. Had he gone further down the path for three more days he would have found a small settlement of Faunus who would have been happy to see him.

But that didn't happen.

###### six months after his arrival in the world of remnant Naruto was taking a piss over a cliff.

He had settled into life and even survived what was a rather mild winter.

His training wasn't going ok but not great, he had apparently been a natural at henge, the Kawarimi was slow going but at least it seemed he was making steady progress, the clones seemed to be a lost cause so he had decided to try tree climbing. Skipping ahead didn't make much sense but he figured why not, he was also thinking about trying the shadow clone jutsu from the torn scroll. A skill kept in the hokage office had to be better than a basic one.

Naruto was finishing up when he glanced back and saw a bird turn into a person.

Naruto stared in shock as he questioned if he had gone insane.

The man that had just transformed from a bird stared back, he didn't think the kid would notice him before he finished transforming.

######

Qrow had been flying back from a mission when he spotted a kid standing on the edge of a cliff up ahead in what he was sure was the middle of nowhere. It should be at least three days flight to any town.

He couldn't see any adults or caravans, there weren't even any roads near here.

(Ok so this is weird, how does a kid get this lost. Time to be a hero I suppose) so Qrow flew down and transformed back into a man. He had not expected the kid, who he could see was really young and perhaps a small six or seven, to turn around and spot him changing form.

"hey kid are you lost?" Qrow asked, he spoke gently as if he was talking to one of his nieces.

The oldest was close to his age, well the younger one might be closer. The kid was pretty scrawny.

He heard a zip and realized what the kid had been doing, then the child turned around and Qrow expected him to come running and cry about how he was saved.

What he got was a finger pointed at him and a shout.

"Bird man" the kid yelled.

"what?, no kid I saw you up here…" Qrow got no farther before.

"perverted birdman" the brat yelled even louder.

(This little) Qrow struggled to maintain his cool.

"no kid your not getting it, I saw you on the cliff but only from this direction. Your lost right so come with me and I'll get you home" Qrow still tried to speak kindly, the kid was probably confused.

"fuck you, I don't have to listen to some pervert bird. Your not taking me anywhere and my name is Naruto not kid" Naruto said, crossing his arms.

Qrow was speechless for a moment.

(I'm helping a lost kid right? Not some foul mouthed dwarf)

"look uh Naruto right? How old are you?" Qrow asked.

Despite his words Naruto didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave, this was the first real conversation he'd had in a long time, even if it was with a bird man.

"I'm seven" Naruto said like it was a huge accomplishment, having survived in this forest it kinda was.

( so definitely a kid but small for his age, I'm on the right track now) Qrow thought.

"Ok, so are you with your family out here?" Qrow asked.

"Don't have any family, never did. Your kind of an insensitive ass huh" Naruto said.

"woah there, I'm sorry I didn't know. Do you have anyone who takes care of you or a town you lived in?" Qrow asked feeling a little out of his depth, ( I can't even imagine Ruby or Yang talking like this)

"nope, I've taken care of myself for as long as I can remember and no village wanted me. So I live here now " Naruto said.

"look kid I'm sorry to hear that, I know what it's like to get the short straw in life. You may have had a bad experience but you can't stay here. I know a nice town where you'll be treated right, my brother-in-law lives there with his daughters and his wife. Their around your age and they'd be happy to be friends with you, I can't promise you'll be adopted but the town is one of the nicest I've been to."

Qrow could see the kid looked honestly tempted, it was sad how much the promise of being treated properly clearly meant to the child.

Then something seemed to cross his mind.

"no, I don't want to, I'm staying here" Naruto said stubbornly.

Qrow tried a different approach.

"really kid? and what about the Grimm uh? You want to be eaten or torn apart" Qrow said grimly, it was low to scare the kid but he would appreciate it one day.

Naruto looked confused and that confuses Qrow.

"Are Grimm those black monster animals?"Naruto guessed.

(He doesn't know what the Grimm are called, did no one ever tell this kid anything. How long has he been on his own?)

"yeah Naruto those are called Grimm and you know how dangerous they are so come with me" Qrow said.

Then the kid again did the opposite of what Qrow expected, he laughed.

"ha ha ha, the Grimm don't bother me. I've lived here for six months already and I've seen plenty of them" Naruto bragged.

(Six months? Was that true?, it doesn't matter. He's been lucky so far but that can't last) Qrow thought.

"Ok Naruto look I'm not trying to be mean here but you have to come with me, no buts and no excuses" Qrow said sternly as he walked toward the boy.

He had no other choice the kid wasn't listening to reason, he was just a kid after all.

Then Naruto shocked Qrow again when he dashed across the plateau and dived over the edge.

Qrow felt his blood freeze even as he ran with all his might after him, he was horrified that he had just pressured a child to flee straight off a cliff.

He got to the edge and didn't slow in the slightest as he too dived off, planning to catch him and shield him with his own body if needed.

It was not as Qrow face planted onto a ledge just four feet below.

He immediately got up and started looking around, nothing. It was just some rock piles and small shrubs. The little brat had tricked him and gotten away.

After inspecting the ledge, which was only a dozen steps across at most, for almost an hour he transformed into a bird and decided to search the forest below still not knowing how the brat had gotten down from here and only guessing he had already awakened his semblance.

Twenty minutes after he had left one of the rock piles popped with a small cloud of smoke as Naruto appeared looking proud of himself.

"stupid bird brain, I'm Naruto Uzumaki the king of the forest"

######

"I can't believe you left a child to die, how can you still call yourself a huntsman no a man after that Qrow?" Tai said.

He was sitting at the table with his wife and Qrow who had arrived over a week late and told them about his encounter with Naruto.

Summer nodded in agreement though her eyes were equal parts amused at Qrow's tale and concerned for this poor child.

"I didn't leave him to die, I spent a week in that forest looking for him. So you can both stop judging me, you didn't meet him. This wasn't some lost little child, he knew that forest inside and out. I eventually found a campsite but he never came close enough to catch." Qrow defended himself though he knew how weak the excuse sounded.

" you said he was seven? A child younger than Yang evaded you for a week?" Tai asked skeptically.

"like I said you haven't met him, the kid would show up just to taunt me and the minute I closed in he disappeared.

" So it's teleportation then right?, like Raven" Tai concluded what he figured the kids semblance was.

"maybe, maybe not" Qrow answered vaguely.

"what do you mean Qrow, how else could he keep getting away?" Summer asked.

"I don't know how but I noticed something strange when I was there, I spent a few days at his little hideout but I never saw a single Grimm, not one ever came near him" Qrow said.

That got a shocked reaction from the couple.

"Qrow are you saying this kid's semblance could be a Grimm deterrent?" Tai asked.

"Naruto said that the Grimm didn't bother him, I thought he was saying that he wasn't scared but I think he meant they actually don't attack him, I've heard of some having such abilities like it but it's rare" Qrow said.

"it sounds like this kid can't believe he'd be welcomed anywhere, if people knew he had such a useful semblance towns would be fighting over where he would stay" Tai said.

"It's not about him being useful Tai, this child is alone out there and clearly he's been neglected. Even if the Grimm aren't a threat there is still plenty of things out there that could hurt him. He's ignorant enough about the world not to know the common name for the Grimm so imagine what else he doesn't know, we can't leave him alone" Summer said.

Tai and Qrow both nodded in agreement.

"look he got the jump on me last time but I'll be heading straight back in a week, you'll be home for a while Summer so Tai how about you go with me" Qrow said.

The couple looked at each other and nodded.

"Ok Qrow I'll protect you from the wild child but what does he look like anyway" Tai asked.

"He looks like your bastard child, do you have anything you want to confess?" Qrow asked back in revenge for the taunting.

The shocked look on both their faces was a good start.

Though their expressions were satisfying getting Tai to meet Naruto would be the finisher.

He hadn't told them everything about that week in the forest.

#####

Naruto was happy to have something to do, after Qrow had left while cursing that he'd be back and with help Naruto had gone straight to work.

"there, the best pit yet. Now what should be waiting in the bottom? Snakes or maybe spiders?" Naruto asked himself.

Naruto was looking forward to having guests.