Chapter 1

Windy.

For the last few days, its been nothing but Windy.

They say the wind can affect your mind and thinking and that if your having a bad day, its usually windy.

Does that include sad days?

My brother had just died.

Cause of death?

He took a dozen painkillers and jumped off a roof.

He died two weeks ago.

I was 'busy' when my mom walked in on me and informed me about his faith.

It was all my fault. Let me explain.

It was Tuesday at school. We had just found out our friend, Carrie disappeared. No one had seen her since Monday.

When school ended, we learned that someone was able to communicate with her telepathically.

She was "Burning in the depths of hell."

It hurt him so much.

Fast-forward two weeks, My brother was going through therapy. He had been having nightmares and it evolved to the point of him refusing to sleep.

My mother thought it would be a good idea to spend some time with him. One-on-one.

We went to the mall, talked and ate. It brought us a bit closer. Before we left, I bought him a black and red baseball cap and e bought me an interesting hat as well.

Moving on to next week, I was walking home from an audition for a band.

I failed so I was really down.

It was night and I could barely see anything, but I could still hear just as well.

Some guys came out from around a corner and dragged me in an ally. I didn't get a good look at them at first since I had no idea what was going on.

I didn't tell anyone, but I owned a gun for quite some time now. I only brought it with me on days I knew I would be home late.

Say what you want, I had no choice. I had to shoot. If I had died, no one would be there for my brother. No one.

I fired eight shots. I didn't know how many hit but they all went down.

I took out a lighter and shined it on one of their faces. Just to get a good idea of who it was.

It was Rachel.

One of my brother's last friends.

And I had just killed her.

I ran.

I never looked back.

Ever.

My family and my brother herd about the murder two days later. No one knew it was me and I doubt anyone ever will.

My brother cried so much after. Every day and night.

I don't know what happened.

How I lost it.

His crying just got to me somehow.

I went up to him one day and just bluntly said,

Either stop crying or just go and kill yourself already!

And that's what he did the next day.

It was at the school. Someone found his body in pieces.

All because of me.

That's how my brother died.

Now I can't stop crying.

But you can't even tell I'm crying.

Because the wind keeps blowing away my tears.