h3 style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"bonne année et bonne santé/span/h3
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" /p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"The start to the year had been icy and cold. Enjolras, at the advice of Joly had been sitting on the bench in the park wrapped up by a heavy coat, long scarf and a thick woolen hat that was slightly too big for him. He often woke up before the sun and would walk down to the park near the university and watch the sunrise before heading back to get work done. Except, he had now finished all his work and spent most of his time bored out of his mind waiting for his friends to return from their oh-so-merry Christmas holidays. It's not that Enjolras hated Christmas. It was one of the only holidays where he felt very festive and cheery, and excited to celebrate. However, he had never really had a good Christmas apart from the time all the Amis got snowed in in their first year and couldn't get home for the holidays. They'd all admit it was the best Christmas that they had ever had. Enjolras never went home for the holidays. He didn't want to and he didn't need to. Usually, one of his friends would stay back because of a missed flight, or just out of goodwill to keep Enjolras company. This year, everyone had left. He felt a bit sad about that. Even on New Year's day he sat in his room, on Skype with Combeferre, trying his best not to feel let down. Of course, Combeferre saw through Enjolras' mask and promised him they'd all be back before he knew it./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"That was three days ago. He let out a sigh and watched as the January air made it float away. Eventually he decided to go back to his apartment as the cold started to seep through Joly's miracle gloves. He trudged through the snow and as he got closer to his house, he noticed another pair of footprints that looked new./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""'Ferre?" Enjolras called, joy in his voice./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Oh. No. Sorry. It's me." Grantaire shot up from behind him, giving Enjolras a fright./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Oh! Grantaire. You're up early. When did you get back?"/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Painting." He tapped a canvas he was holding, his fingers covered in blobs of blue and yellow. "And technically, I never left. Chickened out last minute."/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Oh. Painting...a picture of my door?"/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Grantaire went red, "Oh no! You dropped your key. I came to hand it back." He clumsily planted the keys in Enjolras' hand. "Happy new year!" He chimed before hurrying down the hall. Enjolras smiled, the first human interaction he had had the whole holidays since he bought a microwave turkey dinner at the only shop open on Christmas day and the cashier giving him a sympathetic speech about how sad it is to be lonely on the one day where you are supposed to be with friends and family. She was only trying to be nice, he thought through gritted teeth and went home, placed the turkey on the kitchen counter and promptly forgot about it./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Enjolras threw off his coat, hat and scarf and flung himself on the couch. Only a week left until he was back at uni, with more work to plow himself through and concentrate on. He liked that thought, no more boredom. He pulled out his phone and texted Courfeyrac/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"When u back?!/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"emsoon, do not panic, young one/em/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"What? I'm older than u./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"emoh ffs enjy, lighten up! im back tomorow ;)/em/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Ok. Wht bout others? Anyone bk today?/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"emyeppp, they left last night, not seen them yet? though i think they were gonna surprise u, dk bout others most of us comin bk tomorrow. fuilly too, hes with moi./em/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Nobody came back today./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"emhuh. mybe he chickened out. ill whack gim over the head for u. leaving poor enjy aloooone./em/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"shut up./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"emyou could have come home for the holidays u know./em/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"no./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"i meant with me idiot./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"emoh./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Enjolras sighed and threw his phone across the floor so it landed on a cushion near the door. He did regret not accepting Courfeyrac's offer but it was too late now, he rolled off the couch so he lay on the floor staring at the ceiling. How did people live alone?/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"br /br /br /br /br /p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Grantaire had fucked it up. "I fucked it up." He said as he smoked the last cigarette he had allowed himself to smoke. He was attempting to quit. Gradually less and less each day, and he was surprised at how well he was coping. He fucked it up. He needed another. He itched for another. But Joly and Bossuet had taken his collection after he told the, he was trying to quit. They came up with a scheme, and he had a set amount for each day. He flopped down onto the shoddy, torn up couch in his crappy apartment and sighed. He felt sick and a bit panicky without his cigarettes. Or alcohol. But that was strictly banned, he told himself and everyone else not to let him near any of it. At all. How could he fuck it up? He had taken all the courage in the world to talk to Enjolras and in the brief conversation that they had, he had bumbled and lied. He hadn't stayed here all the holiday. Enjolras would think he was a dick for leaving him alone on Christmas day. Fuck. Grantaire clenched his jaw and balled his fists, taking deep breaths. Paint. He could paint. Paint instead./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"He marched over to his canvas and painted. It was soothing for a while. Feeling the paint brush glide across the canvas as it formed the shapes of his view from the window. His mind drifted back to Enjolras. He sighed. In a week it would be fine. He could go back to class, back to painting with his professors and classmates, back to his dance classes and back to boxing. It would all be fine. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He should eat, Grantaire decided. He stood up and made his way to the kitchen before - oh fuck. He had managed to kick the entire can of water all over the canvas completely ruining the painting and his carpet, which was now splashed with dirty paint water and thick blobs of paint. Grantaire nearly screamed. He fucked up./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"After a while of sitting feeling sorry for himself, Grantaire had an idea. He would go over to Enjolras' apartment and apologise for his bumbling idiot style behaviour early. Maybe if he apologised formally, he would make a better impression of himself. He needed Enjolras to like him. Or if not like him, communicate with him. So that was the best course of action. He threw on his coat and headed out the door./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"br /br /br /p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Enjolras was prone to anxiety. He was also prone to getting very uncomfortable texts, phone calls and voicemails from his father. You need to come home. Very soon. He couldn't. He can't. He just won't. Why would he? Why should he? He is over the age of eighteen, a legal adult. He is twenty! He doesn't need to do anything his father commands him to. That would just be pathetic, right? Still. He should really go. Enjolras thought about it. On one hand, he couldn't stand to go home, it would be the worst thing ever, he could think of a million other things he would rather do. He'd rather spend the rest of his Christmases alone in the freezing park. He'd rather get an F in class. He'd rather live alone. He'd rather be bored all the time. On the other hand however, if he didn't go home he'd create a big, massive, fuck off shitstorm. Which would affect every one of his friends, and the few family members he got on well with. He'd feel guilty, and he would be pathetic. If he did go home, though, he would too create a shitstorm, or rather, his father would create a shitstorm. In fact, this whole situation since the five minutes he had received this very text had been one thing: a shitstorm. It wasn't fair! The holidays were nearly over! His friends were coming back tomorrow, and now he was getting whisked off to his most hated place on the planet. He'd be more lonely than he is now./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"There was a knock at the door./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Enjolras couldn't deal with this right now./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Who's there?" He shouted, in the most pissed off tone he could muster that wouldn't sound like his voice was about to break. He wasn't going to cry. He knew that. He was just going to be very shaky. For a while. Then 'Ferre would be back. And it would be reasonably okay./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Grantaire. Sorry, I just wanted to-"/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Grantaire, this is really not a good time." A fraction of his voice cracked./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Enjolras? You okay?" It was quite a large fraction./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Grantaire, emfuck off!/em" He shouted, throwing his phone at the door. The words stung. He regretted it. The noise of the phone hitting the door thumped his brain and the entire situation made his heart beat faster and faster. He felt his breath go shakier. He crawled over and picked up his phone. A brand new shiny crack. Combeferre./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"emdid grantaire come? i wasn't supposed to tell you but i've not heard from him./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Oh fuck. Enjolras slammed his fist on the phone, the crack in the glass jammed into his palm making it bleed slightly. He moved his finger towards the call button and hovered over it for a moment. He pressed./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"span style="text-decoration: underline;" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Enjolras? Did you mean to call?" 'Ferre's voice bled through the muffled speaker./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Enjolras tried to speak but his voice wouldn't come. He was sure 'Ferre could hear his breathing though. And probably his heart. What a mess. What a fucking mess. How had this happened?/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Enjolras? You okay? What happened? What did Grantaire say?"/p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Enjolras curled into a ball and touched his forehead with his knee. He felt the tears run down his cheek. No. He can't cry. That's not what he's allowed to do./p
p dir="ltr" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""I'm coming over. I'll be about forty five minutes. Stay on the phone."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;""Happy new year, 'Ferre." Enjolras cracked out. The most pathetic sounding voice ever, He hated it. He hated himself. He hated his father. He hated this entire day. He was very appreciative for Combeferre. Extremely. He didn't want him coming over though. It would ruin his holiday. He hung up the phone. He knew he couldn't stop Combeferre from coming back early, but he did not want him to hear him cry. Happy emfucking/em new year./p