I

It's hard. It's hard to hide from the truth. To hide from people. To hide secrets that are bundled up. To not tell a secret that could be a life or death situation. People become allies with one another, causing them to be pulled into all types of wars. Wars on the battlefield and wars on the streets.

That's why I have isolated myself from the world. Hidden myself from what truly can happen. The reason why I won't talk to anyone. Why no one will not expect to hear my voice anytime soon. Why no one will tell me secrets. Why no one will get close to me.

"Kim, could you answer this question on the board?" the student teacher questions. I don't even remember her name. Why bother? She'll just disappear from this school. Say that she'll miss us and never return for the rest of her life.

Oh that's right, she told me to answer the math question on the board. Scanning over the long Pythagorean Theorem question. I was suppose to tell if it was wrong or right. Something that I had learned in eighth grade. Now in ninth, I was ready for anything. Something like this, was easy.

I nodded my head, but didn't say a word. The student teacher raised her eyebrows into her bangs. I was starting to think why people had bangs lately. They were annoying and never seemed to be important. Just a style.

"Can you tell me the answer?" she questioned stubbornly. I shake my head. Two years of not talking was starting to wear on me. Just because this one teacher has asked me a question doesn't mean I will start talking all of a sudden.

"Miss. Linder-" Oh, so that is her name. "-Kim doesn't talk. She hasn't since you- know- what happened." I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything. I just rested my head as the popular, prep girl answered the question.

I rested my head on the desk, pulling the hood to my zip up sweatshirt. I concealed my pale skin from the world around me. The bruises that seemed to remand there over the years.

"Is Kimberly-Anne Sinster in your class?" A voice rasped on the speaker. The student teacher looked up a little surprised. The other students snickered and laughed. I bowed my head in my arms even more. I didn't want to be called down. Why are they calling me down there anyways?

"Yes, I guess so," Miss. Linder responded.

"Could you send her down to the main office?" the voice rasped some more on the loud speaker. I flinched. I still didn't want to go down. Maybe my father wanted another meeting with me. I didn't want to meet with him.

"Sure," Miss. Linder responded without even thinking. The loud speaker made a small clicking sound as it turned off. Before Miss. Linder could even turn her attention to me, I was up and already walking to the door. The faster there, the faster out.

"Kim, do you think that you will be back?" Miss. Linder questioned. I stopped in my tracks and thought about that. Was I going to be back? I don't know, but I wasn't going to answer her. She was expecting me to talk.

And I wasn't going to answer anything she had to say.

I just opened up the door and walked out into the quiet hallway. Everyone was in their classes. The halls were always empty ever since the school restricted bathroom times. Only around lunch time were people allowed to go to the bathroom, after that or before, it was useless to try and go to the bathroom. Unless if you had a rule bending study hall teacher.

My white sneakers made that familiar squeaking sound when wet. Even though it was three hours past the time when I got to school, my sneakers were still wet from the early rain.

It doesn't take long to get to the main office from my math room, but when someone's mind is clouded, it seems to take forever. My mind wasn't really clouded, but I was over thinking about why I was being sent to the office.

When I opened up the door to the office, I froze. Now I know why I was called down. My father was standing there, talking to the attendant at the desk. His hair was unruly as usual. I bet that he hasn't been combing it. Without me at the house anymore, he must be not taking care of himself.

I felt my arms start to shake. I didn't want to be around my father. Not now, not ever. The state said that he couldn't be three yards close to me. He had to stay away from me. Away from mother and me.

"Kimmy," my father said with his voice overdosed with sweetness. I flinched with fear about what he was thinking. I didn't want to be around him. I could already feel myself becoming weak just by looking at him.

"Kim, you didn't tell us you had such a sweet father," the attendant said. I flinched. Yeah, my father was nice. Nice around people who mattered. If only people knew how he was like when no one was around. When it was just him, my mother, and me.

My hands at my sides clenched and unclenched. I wasn't in the mood to talk with my father. I wasn't going to talk at all. Just like I haven't spoken in two whole years.

My father held out his arms. His rage of a jacket seem to fall apart on his arms. "Can't you come over and give your old man a hug?" I stood right where I was at the door. I didn't want to move. Not even my hand on the doorknob moved.

My hand on the doorknob started shaking. I wanted to get away from him. I wanted to do something rational. I decided to do something that I did the last time I met him.

I turned around and ran.

The rest of the time for sixth period past by. I stayed in the girls bathroom. I didn't even bother to go to lunch with the rest of the ninth graders. I just wanted to make sure that my father had left.

I gripped the back of my neck with one of my hands. I felt my body shake as I leaned against the stall wall. I felt like cursing myself for feeling so weak. To let my father effect me so badly.

A choked sob came out of my throat. Maybe that was the only sound I have made in two years. The only sound that would ever come out of my mouth again. I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

"Hey!" A loud rap on my stall made me jump out my skin. "Are you almost done in there? All the other stalls are disgusting." I shook my head, not realizing that the girl couldn't see me shaking my head. The silence was enough for them to realize something. "Is someone in there?" Yes, but who says they are going to answer you? The annoying rapping came again. "Get the hell out of that stall right now!"

I was still silent as the girl fell silent as well. I didn't know if they had walked away, but by not hearing sneakers making their squeaking noise, I was thinking that she didn't.

"Kim, it's you in there, isn't it?" the girl questioned. I was surprised when I heard my name. This girl knew me. This girl knew who I was. Was she in my grade? She had to be, if she knew my name.

"Of course you wouldn't answer me," the girl continued. "You haven't spoken since seventh grade. How would I think that with it just being us here you would start talking? How pathetic of me." That voice was starting to sound familiar to me. I tried my hardest to remember who she was.

Then it snapped to me. Claire! How could I forget the sweet brunette that always had her head in a book? She was always sweet and quiet. I was able to sit next to her in lunch and not have to worry about any kind of small talk.

I opened my mouth to ask her about her reading. About how many points she had in the school reading section. But when no sound came out of my mouth, I shut it. I was starting to become scared. I wanted to talk for the first time in two years, and I couldn't seem to get a single word out of my mouth.

I closed my mouth and brought my knees closer to my chest. Oh how I wish I could have a kind of chest like the other girls in my school. They were all active and yet they have these huge bosoms on them.

"Kim? Could I come in?" Claire asked. "I haven't seen you since seventh grade. I would like to talk to you. Even if it means not hearing you talk." A silence went by before Claire added, "Knock once on the ground if you don't' want me to come in, or knock twice for me to come in." My knuckles rasped on the tiled floor twice.

The stalls now have a lock on the inside and outside because of smoking reasons that have surfaced over the years. I didn't bother to lock either of them, so Claire opened up the door slightly and peeked in. She smiled when she saw me.

I wanted to open my mouth and start asking all sorts of questions, but her looks halted me in anything I was about to do. I always knew everyone grows up and changes, but this was something I was never expecting.

Claire had changed. Her hair color was no longer that brunette color. She had dyed it blonde. Those baggy jeans were replaced with tight, ripped ones. She had make up caked on her face. What happened to her saying things about 'natural beauty'? Instead of her white gym shoes, she had those new green high heels. What happened to her saying that her parents could never afford something new? Those shoes must have been around a hundred bucks.

There was one thing that never changes, and that had to be her smile. She looked really happy to see me on the floor of the bathroom.

"Kim," she breathed out. She got to her knees and gave me a hug. "Oh thank God you are ok!"

My hands shook at my side. Did she know?

"I heard your father came to school not long ago, I bet he was trying to take you away from your mother, but he has no right to do that!" Claire exclaimed. She straightened up. Her hands were balled into fists in her lap.

"Oh!" Claire said, suddenly her mood lighting up. She looked at her outfit and beamed. "You know that Jesse boy? The blonde one? Well, do you remember how we would use to talk all the time?" Each question she asked I nodded my head. She was excited, but I needed to figure out what she was getting at. "We've been talking more lately and he told me about what he likes in a girl. He likes blonde girls who wear make up with tight jeans. I changed so much just to get his attention." My eyes softened with sadness for Claire. She changed so much, and for what? To try and get a guy who she has been friends with since Pre-K?

"Kim, how have you been? Good? Bad? Ok?" Claire asked. She fidgeted a little. She let out a sigh. "Maybe I made a mistake with this." Maybe? Yes, yes you did, Claire.

"Your father," Claire said, changing the subject. "Is he nice?" I shook my head violently, making my red braid whip my face a few times. "Oh, I see. Well, did he leave your mother?" I shook my head again. "Oh, so your mother left him?" I shook my head again. ". . . You're parents aren't divorced?"

My parents never divorced. The state just separated them. To keep the fighting down. Maybe because the state thought that I was scared.

"Kim, are you scared?" Claire asked.

I was silent. Was I scared? No, not right now. Was I scared when I saw my father again? Yes, yes, I was scared. I thought that I would never see him again, and then he appears in the main office, asking for me.

I don't want to see that man ever again.

"Kim, should I change my outfit back to what it use to be?" Claire asked. I glanced at her and nodded. "Do you think I'm stupid for changing so much for just one boy?" I nodded my head again. "I thought so."

Claire got to her feet. I looked at her with a confused look. She glared at me. "Well? Are you just going to sit there or get up? I really have to pee now!"

I wanted to chuckle at Claire. She was still the same old same old.

I got to my feet and walked out of the stall. I waited just outside of the bathroom. People passing by gave me a confused look, but I mostly ignored them. I didn't want to do anything with them, I just wanted to be with one of my old friends.

Claire came out of the bathroom and looked at me with a surprised look. Wiping the water on her hands onto her jeans, she smiled up at me. "Man, and I thought that you had left without me. You scared me there for a second."

I nodded my head. Having someone that you didn't expect to see waiting for you can give you a good scare.

"So, how have you been?" Claire asked. I lifted my hand and shook it from side to side. "So-so? Haha, same here. Seems like as if ninth grade will be different from eighth grade, huh? So many more tests to take, and then the regular chapter tests. Ugh, I hate that kind of stuff. Wait a second, did I sound like a caveman when I went 'ugh'?" I nodded my head. Claire started laughing at herself. "Man, I must have sounded like an idiot." She let out a small sigh. "I must be chattering. Maybe it's because someone is more quiet than me."

I wanted to chuckle, I really did, but nothing came out of my throat. Maybe I should try something different.

"Kim! Oh my gosh! We missed lunch." Claire let out a small sigh. "That really sucks. It was something good for once too." Claire looked depressed. Her blue orbs had lost some of their sparkle, but the sparkle soon came back. "Oh! My cousin is leaving school for his work now. Maybe we can ditch the rest of the school day, what do you say, Kim?"

I was about to shake my head, but my stomach didn't seem to be on my side. Instead, I just nodded my head. Before I could even realize it, Claire had grabbed my hand and started running to the closest doors located to the lot with all the cars.

"Chris!" Claire shouted. A boy-a tall boy- stopped cursing and jumbling with the keys in his hands. "Could you take us out to lunch? To the pizza shop you work at?" I looked surprised at Claire. Her cousin works at a pizza shop? Why didn't she tell me this earlier?

"Why, sure, but if someone finds out about this, and you get me into trouble, no more discount for you," her cousin-Chris- said sternly.

"Oh, don't worry about that, I'm just the book worm who knows all the answers to questions on tests and Kim, over here, is just the silent one who keeps her grades up high," Claire said. "Who would miss us?"

Yes, who would? It didn't really matter for me, I was a straight A student who didn't miss a day. Why would one, two periods matter?

"Alright then, hop in before someone notices you're gone," Chris said, opening up the back door for the girls. Claire made a familiar squeaking sound that resembled a mouse. She made this mouse noise when she was over excited when she was younger, but now it only came once and a while.

"Come on, Kim, we don't want to miss out on free pizza, now do we?" Claire asked. I would have chuckled, but I just got into the back with the familiar silence.

Chris got into the front seat behind the wheel and closed his door. "Kim, close that door, will you?" I nodded my head in obedience. I closed to door. As soon as Chris heard the slam, he started his engine and off we went.

"You see," Claire said, "Chris is a senior, and since he did everything during Freshmen, Sophomore, and Junior year, he has most of his day empty, so he goes to work for the last two periods."

I nodded my head.

"You know," Chris said, "people who are quiet are usually thinking too much into something. Is that why you are so quiet all the time?" I didn't shake my head. I didn't nod my head. I just stared down at the gray carpet. Maybe he was right. Maybe he was wrong.

Or maybe I was just looking into it too much.