I be back yet again. ARGH, MATEY! SHIVER ME TIMBERS, FIRE ON THE POOP DECK! Ha. I'm a pirate... I need to change my outfit... Dangit. Does anyone know how to make one of those paper pirate hats? And I want a parrot that repeats whatever I say and then says BAAAAAAAWWWWWWKK!

Rawr. Smite thee evil dragon.

Oh, I decided to do one of those "Mock Anime Interviews"...except it's not much of an "interview", more of a "therapy session"...not entering it anywhere, but I just did it for fun. It's kinda based on my therapy sessions, except we have fun at my therapy.

WARNING: I'm a yaoi fangirl, thus there is a yaoi pairing in there. Don't like it? Tough.

ON WITH THE DRABBLE! XD


Tay: Hello, Sasuke, Itachi. Let's get started with our...wait, hold on a second. I need to get some snacks. Just...socialize er whatever until I get back, okay? (walks out of room)

Sasuke: (slams fists on table) Why do you need snacks! This is an interview, not a tea party!

Tay: Well maybe it IS a tea party, Sasuke! Hmph. (shrugs) I could always change my mind and make you wear my sister's Sunday School dress...(smirk)

Itachi: ...Hahahaha.

Tay: And Itachi can have MY Sunday School dress.

Sasuke: Ha, douche bag. (points finger)

Itachi: (glares)

Tay: Okay, okay, just settle down and let me get my chips...(grabs bag of chips from behind couch) Now, lets get started for real this time. Do either of you have a pen?

Itachi: I always keep a spare. (gives pen)

Tay: Thanks much. Right, then let's start with you, Sasuke. What does it feel like to be one of the two only members of the Uchiha clan?

Sasuke: Ugh. (flips hair GAILY) It's such a pain. Sure, I'm proud of all my awesome skills, but people just TREAT me like I'm king. I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE being the best, but--

Itachi: Wait, who said you were the best? Have you killed your best friend?

Sasuke: Well, no bu--

Itachi: And were you captain of an ANBU squad at 13?

Sasuke: No.

Itachi: Are you even a Chuunin?

Sasuke: Well, there's a good explanation--

Itachi: Are you as SEXY as I am?

Sasuke: Of course.

Itachi: NO YOU ARE NOT. Isn't that right, Ma'am?

Tay: Just let out your anger. (random wind blows through hair) I'll stay out of this. Confess your rage, sort it out, then kiss and make up.

Sasuke: (cringes) I'm not kissing a filthy weasel.

Itachi: Little brother, you are just so STUPID, hmm? (pats head)

Sasuke: (smack hand away) At least I'm not a douche bag.

Itachi: (sighs) Miss, could you please ask another question?

Tay: Itachi, what was your childhood like? Were you beaten, cherished, or shunned away?

Itachi: (eyes) What are you implying?

Tay: I'm just saying, you killed THE WHOLE CLAN. WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT? (flails arms)

Itachi: Ooooohh...Sasuke ate my chocolate.

Tay: Wait, what?

Sasuke: ...?

Itachi: I had some chocolate left over in the fridge and I was going to eat it later, but Mr. Chocolate-stealer here just happened to walk by and steal it and eat it.

Sasuke: I don't know what you're talking ab--...oooohh...I remember now. Well, I didn't STEAL it, I looked in the fridge, and I saw the chocolate was going to expire that day, so I ate it. I mean, you CAN'T waste chocolate!

Tay: Or can you?

Sasuke: ...

Itachi: ...

Sasuke: (looks at nails)

Itachi: (picks nose)

Tay: (takes notes)

Itachi: (wipes finger on Sasuke)

Sasuke: EWW, GROSS! (flails arms at Itachi)

Kisame: Rawrrrr...(bites door)

Tay: Kisame, you're next, just wait in the other room, okay?

Kisame: Okay...Oh, hey Itachi! Go talk to Deidara when you get back to the cave, he wanted to show you something.

Itachi: Got it.

Tay: Kisame, shoo shooooo, private session! (kicks Kisame out) Uhhh...I forgot where we were.

Sasuke: Moving on to the next question...

Tay: Oh, yes, er...Sasuke, do you like your brother?

Sasuke: That's just about the stupidest question I've heard.

Tay: (takes notes) I assume that's a yes, Itachi--

Sasuke: I DO NOT LIKE HIM. I WANT HIM TO BURN...(wiggles fingers)

Tay: Well, you could've just said that...(rewrites notes) Itachi, do you like Sasuke?

Itachi: Of course, he's my WITTLE BWOTHEW! (pinches Sasuke's cheeks)

Sasuke: Get away from me, moron! Stop touching me! (slaps)

Tay: I love y'all's little fights. They're so cute. Except for that one time, Itachi, it was like...one of the first times you met after you left...you shouldn't mentally scar your little brother. Now he's even more messed up than usual.

Sasuke: WHAT THE HECK! WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, YOU BI--

Tay: Sasuke, no cursing, pretty please. It would burn my poor little ears. (covers ears)

Sasuke: Ugh. (rolls eyes)

Itachi: Can I have a chip?

Tay: Sure, there ya' go. (throws chip)

Sasuke: ...(sighs)...Okay, hand me a chip too, please.

Tay: No.

Sasuke: WHAT!

Tay: Haha, just kidding, Sasuke-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNN! Ha. (throws chips in face)

Sasuke: You're starting to sound like Sakura now, god. (munches)

Tay: Don't use the Lord's name in vain, Sasuke.

Itachi: Does my sweet little brother have a crush or girlfriend? (grins)

Tay: No, in fact, he's gay.

Sasuke! (spits out chip)

Tay: Ewwwwww.

Itachi: Let me rephrase that then; Does my sweet little brother have a crush or BOYfriend?

Sasuke: Can we just get on with the stupid interview therapy whatever it is?

Tay: Okay, okay. Itachi, what do you think of when I say, "CHOCOLATE"?

Itachi: Chocolate-stealer...(glares)

Tay: Good, good. Sasuke, what do YOU think of when I say, "CHOCOLATE"?

Sasuke: Douche bag. (glares back)


Insert random famous Uchiha glaring contest here


Tay: Wonderful. Now, this is a question for both of you: What do you think of Naruto?

Sasuke: He's hot.

Tay: ...haha...haaa...erm...(coughs violently) that was a little BOLD, Sasuke.

Itachi: OH, I'M GOING TO BE AN UNCLE! (squeals)

Itachi fangirls: SQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (swoon)

Sasuke: I'm going to disown you!

Itachi: NO! (cries)

Tay: Hooray for uncles and Sasunaru babies!

Itachi: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I WANNA BE AN UUUUUUNCLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE...(cries more)

Tay: BABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIES! SASUNARU BABIES, WHOO! (fangirling)

Sasuke: What is WRONG with you!

Tay: I just so happen to be fangirling at the moment. Maybe I'll send for Naruto-kun now...(grin)

Itachi: No, lets not. I don't feel like watching...(coughmansexcough)

Tay: Alright then, Itachi, you still haven't answered the question.

Itachi: (ponders) I don't really know him...I'm just following orders by pursuing him, but no one gave me much info. But I do know he's pretty strong - of course MUCH weaker than me - and he's a little pain in the butt. If I took a guess, I'd say he's...neh...alright.

Tay: Splendid. (eats handful of chips) Mmmm...these chips are good. I've always been a fan of Pringles.

Itachi: (places chip SMOOTHLY in mouth) This is actually my first time having chips. I don't eat much.

Tay: Does that mean you're anorexic, Itachi?

Itachi: What's anorexic?

Tay: I'll say that's a no. Sasuke, what about you?

Sasuke: (eats chips) Sure, the chips are fine. And no, I'm not anorexic...whatever it is...I eat my fill.

Tay: But YOUR fill might not be the RIGHT fill.

Itachi: Anorexic...anorexic...is that some kind of Jutsu?

Tay: There's no need to starve yourselves. You know nothing is more valuable than life...

Itachi: Really?

Sasuke: Should've told him that when he SLAUGHTERED OUR CLAN. (slaps Itachi)

Itachi: (slaps Sasuke) YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN MR. TRUFFLE!

Sasuke: You NAMED the chocolate!

Itachi: Of course. He was my best friend after I killed Shisui.

Tay: Ah, you're both psycho, but I love you guys. I must hug you. (glomps both)

Sasuke: (attempts to knock off) Stop hugging me!

Itachi: (embraces Tay) Hugs make me feel all warm and bubbly! Like someone farting in the spa...(sighs dreamily)

Sasuke: That is wrong on SO many levels.

Tay: Hooray! (pulls off)

Sasuke: Thank Go--

Tay: (glare)

Sasuke: ...Naruto.

Tay: Okay, I'm REALLY sorry; I have ADD...so it's KINDA hard to concentrate on a certain topic...

Sasuke: Alright. Next question please.

Tay: (looks around) ...where's my clipboard?

Itachi: ...oh, there it is, under the chips. (points)

Tay: Sankyuu. Itachi, what was your childhood like? Were you beaten, cherished, or shunned away...?

Itachi: You already asked that question.

Sasuke: Get it right, idiot.

Tay: Oh, ohohohoh, sorry, wrong page. (flips through papers) Sasuke, what was YOUR childhood like?

Sasuke: Father, like,didn't really care about me, just that I, like, didn't disgrace myself. He wanted me to, like,"be like Itachi"...hn, like,as if. (waves hand)

Itachi: You even speak like you're gay! And what's with the hand? You're embarrassing yourself!

Sasuke: (gasps) I'm not embarrassed.

Itachi: You are a transsexual then? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BROTHER! Dearest emo brother, why has thou been CURSED with thy EVIL GAYNESS. (shakes Sasuke violently)

Tay: SASUNARU BABIES! (squeals)

Sasuke: Will you STOP that, woman! It's just STUPID!

Tay: Ooh, oohoohoohooh! Can I be their GODMOTHER!

Sasuke: Just marry the weasel and be the Aunt while you're at it.

Itachi: Wha?

Tay: I DO!

Sasuke: I now pronounce you weasel and psycho, now go away!

Itachi: ...!

Tay: Whoopsie. (scratches head) I'm not supposed to get involved with clients...now they'll take my license...

Sasuke: Did you ever even have a license?

Itachi: Now, do I even get a SAY about who I share my life with? (has conversation with self)

Tay: ...I lost my license in my room a couple of months back...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T TELL! I WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...(cries)

Kisame: TO THE BATCAVE, ROBIN! (points toward door)

Tay: KISAME, SHOOOO! We still have 10 minutes! (chases Kisame)

Itachi: Do we really? Huh...seemed to go by pretty fast, actually. I thought this would be some long boring session. (looks around) Sasuke, where's my nailpolish?

Kisame: Oh, Itachi, you left it on the table in the waiting room, here you go! (throws)

Itachi: (catches) Thanks much.

Tay: KISAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (chases more)

Sasuke: (stuffs chips in mouth) Phrmmmphhprprhmmfhfffrhm...mmm...mnmmrph... (The chips are good...really...delicious...)

Itachi: Don't talk with your mouth full. Besides, you're gonna get fat if you keep eating like that. (pokes belly)

Sasuke: (smacks hand and stuffs more chips in mouth) Mrppmpmrpmmmphrphphpmrmhpmmm. (You know, you're not my mother, idiot.)

Itachi: Mother's dead, and I now claim myself as the Mother.

Sasuke: (chokes) MRPHPMMPMM! (YOU CAN'T DO THAT!)

Itachi: Yes, as a matter of fact, you can do that.

Tay: Okay, back...(sweeps self off)...Itachi, what's with the squirrel?

Itachi: That's Mr. Chocolate-Stealer-Who-Likes-To-Talk-With-His-Mouth-Full-And-Forgot-His-Manners.

Tay: Oh, hello! (waves)

Itachi: (rolls eyes)...it's Sasuke.

Tay: OH! (scratches head) Erm...Itachi, who are your friends, and what are they like?

Itachi: Well there's Kisame, and he's like...part shark. He's cool. Then there's Deidara, and he's a bomb maniac...and he's often mistaken as a girl. We all laugh very much at that. Then Sasori, who likes to play with puppets, but he's cool. And then there's Zetsu, and he's some plant thing. He scares me...very much.

Tay: That's nice...(smiles)...Sasuke?

Sasuke: My old friends were Naruto ahemhotahem, and Sakura who's like a pesky sister, and Kakashi who is a lazy pervert. My new friends are Orochimaru - though he likes to be called Tsunade...we believe it's a phase he's going through - , Kabuto, the Sound Five, and all my Emo friends in the Sound Village.

Tay: You poor, poor Emo. (shakes head)

Itachi: What was that about Naruto?

Sasuke: He's a dope.

Itachi: Riiiight...(nudges)

Tay: Well, guys, I'm sorry, but it seems our interview...(hichicsobsobcrycry)...is...OVERRRRRR! (bursts into tears)

Sasuke: Thought it would never happen. (sarcasm)

Itachi: Ah, don't cry. (pats back) Remember, you'll be an Auntie!

Tay: SASUNARU BABIES! (jumps up and dances)

Itachi: That's the spirit! (dances with Tay)

Tay: YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY! I'm gonna be an Auntie, I'm gonna be an Auntie...I can't wait to tell Kisame and Naruto!

Sasuke: WHAT? You're seeing Naruto too?

Tay: Uh-huh! (nods) I see Kisame next, and then Naruto-kun!

Itachi: Crap, Deidara's gonna kill me...I have to run. (runs away)

Tay: BYE! I'LL SEE YOU AT THE CAVE, HONEY! (waves)

Sasuke: You know, that wedding wasn't official.

Tay: Or was it?

(...silence...)

Tay: ...where's the Twilight Zone music? SAKIKO, CUE THE MUSIC!

Sakiko: Sorry!


(insert Twilight Zone DOO-DEE-DOO-DOO DOO-DEE-DOO-DOO music here)


Tay: Oh, Sasuke, I'm gonna tell Naruto this too, but make SURE that one of the babies is named AFTER ME!

Sasuke: Why?

Tay: FFFUUUUUEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...I wanna be NAMED AFTER! (cries) ...or else I'llspay Naruto and neuter you. (evil grin)

Sasuke: (shakes head) I'm out of here.

Tay: BYE, BROTHER-IN-LAW! (waves)

-------

And so concludes my therapy interview thingymajigger. What do you think?

Hahaha. I was improvising the whole time. HAHAHHAAHAHAHA!

I'm done.

EDIT: Yes, I did change this up. XD Is it better than before? 'Cos I think the bad quality of this chapter made people think the rest of the story was bad. There were like...1000 hits on this chap, but 500 on the next. TT3TT Sorry, people, if it was bad before. I hope it's better now.