The signs of autumn were more present then before. The leaves, red and yellow, mixing with the green color of the summer, falling down like rain in the wind. Beautiful. Magnificent. Poetic. They leave piles on the pavement, children running through them happily, and adults without noticing, a tired look wearing down their faces. The temperature was dropping, and warmer clothes were finding their way out of the closet again.
Children were playing in a park nearby, launching of swing, shooting up and down the slides, running round and round in circles, chasing each other. A ball came flying over them, but not for a second did they stop and think that; that ball could hit them in the head. The ball landed safely in a leave pile, and five small children ran after it, pushing each other away to get to it first. A little girl was arguing with a boy, and then giving up, screaming for her mommy. Two small girls sat on a park bench with two small doll strollers standing in front of them with dolls dressed in suitable attire for the weather, looking adorably cute.
On the paths couples were walking slowly, holding hands, side by side with the older couples, women and men where walking with their children in strollers and caravans, talking to their friends, or alone, some where running. And then there were few, those who sat down and actually looked at the busy park, watched every little detail, forcing their minds to remember it, because it was too beautiful to forget.
She was one of them, sitting alone on one of the park benches on a Sunday afternoon. It was a sad picture. A thirty year old woman alone, watching the people who were not, with a dreamy and slightly envious look in her eyes.
It was her day off, and it was supposed to be her boyfriends- fiancé's day off too, but he had been paged at ten am, they'd just finished their breakfast, and he had to go in and help out in a surgery. Sadly; she was relieved, she had been dreading this day, a day when they would talk about what had happened the past five months, what had happened since they left PPTH and New Jersey behind, but then come back.
Three months she worked in Atlanta, they hadn't even started to pack up their stuff before they were going back.
Atlanta was not New Jersey, nor was any hospital PPTH.
She had fooled herself that everything would be fine, just a familiar place would make it all ok. She had tried to make up excuses so she wouldn't think about the disappointment to that everything didn't turn out ok there, she started a game; how long it would take House to figure out. Three weeks, she told herself sadly. But maybe it was the hair, maybe he just didn't want to see her, wasn't prepared... Or maybe he had just moved on.
A child screamed loudly, and she turned her head alarmed. Eyes scanned the playground quickly, children where still playing, running around. Everything was ok.
Everything was not ok.
Her relationship with Chase was doomed, it seemed ok for a whole month, nothing was wrong. But then they moved in together, the move to Atlanta forced them to. It changed everything. They fought more, about small things, she got extremely annoyed, and woke up earlier so that she would be on her way into work when he woke up, and sometimes stayed late so that he would be asleep when she got home. And that caused a whole new fight.
And then came July, and The Scare.
She regretted sharing her fears with him, he had been so hopeful, and was so open with his plans. And she realized that they had two different views on things. And two days later he proposed. Why? Because it was the right thing. Then she got her period, and taking back the yes would've been an awful thing to do.
Being married to him wouldn't be so bad?
It wouldn't- if it weren't for the fact that she had her heart set on another man.
During the days when she thought she was pregnant with Chase's child, it weren't just the thoughts that it was too soon, or that they had different opinions on how the child would be raised, but that it was his child. It brought up feelings she wasn't ready to think about or deal with. Those feelings were supposed to be left alone.
Then she called Cuddy, without talking to Chase, and she had a position in the ER as a senior attending open, and she told her that she might take it. She told Chase that Cuddy called her, and that she wanted to take it.
She thought he would stay in Atlanta, but followed her to New Jersey and acted like the man she dreamed of as a teenager. Now she wanted that gruff, inconsiderate man, not the sweet one.
It felt wrong.
She wanted Chase to leave her, because she didn't want to break his heart yet again.
