Me and Damon walk into the Salvatore boarding house, hand in hand, after our first date. We didn't do anything big, just went to the movies, and got some take out pizza on the way back. I couldn't help but notice that he watched me, more than he watched the screen. Not that I am complaining, i kind of did the same too. Food in hand, i run to the kitchen, Damon soon following, we are starving. We devour the thing, and after 4 slices, i can barely walk anymore. I look at Damon, who is concentrated on eating his last slice and a brilliant idea crosses my mind. I get one of the olives left on the box, and throw it at his direction, hitting his face. He eyes me with mock anger, and goes back to his pizza. I get another one and throw it, hitting his hand this time, making him drop the food. He looks at me fast. "Oh, you are going to pay for this" he says with a playful look on his eyes. " Oh no" i say as he stands up and comes into my direction. In normal speed, try to run away from him. It doesn't work, he is faster and i am way too full, so he grabs me by the waist and start tickling my sides. " Damon! Stop!" i say, trying to sound angry, as I erupt into a new fit of giggles. I start tickling him to, as some sort of defence, soon, both of us are just rolling around on the kitchen floor having a tickling fight. Suddenly, both of us stop. He is on top of me, hand on my hips, and i am under him, hands on his neck. My brain starts a conflict. The part that still think he is a monster, telling me to run, the other, begging me to kiss the hell out of him. He looks at my lips, licking his. He probably wants this as much as i do. But then, his phone rings, breaking our little bubble of happiness. He rolls his eyes, and muttering something under his breath that i can't understand, gets up and answers it, walking out of the room. i get up too, cursing whoever was on the other end of the line for interrupting my brave moment.

Around 5 minutes later, he walks back into the room, His eyes wet, like he was crying. Shit! Damon Salvatore doesn't cry. My heart starts beating fast and loud. "What happened Damon?" i say worriedly " Elena" His voice shakes. "Liz is gone" He continues. My heart falls. She was like a mother to me after my parents died, but i have to be strong for Damon. He probably thinks is the other way around, but Liz was his only friend, human at least. Even if i don't remember, he helped me overcome the grief in my life, he made me feel alive. I step closer, reaching for his hand, and whisper, looking at him in the eye. " It's okay. You don't have to be strong now, it is okay to break down sometimes." I hate being him suffering and keeping it all in will only make it worse. He lets go of my hand. " I am so weak" he says, running away from the kitchen. I let him go, maybe he just needs some alone time.

After about an our, i hear some noises upstairs and decide to go talk to him. I go up and stop in front of the door thinking f i should really do this. I need to. I take tree steps, and enter his room. There he is, in front of the fireplace, dark jeans and button-down shirt open. The way the light shines in his perfect features makes them look even darker than they really are. Darkness. It is as if all the sadness and gloom inside him hovered over his face. That attracts me, lours me into him. How do i want to make it all go away, even if for that, i have to get it all to myself. He looks at me. I walk towards him, slowly, one step after the other, without saying a word, his eyes never leaving mine. When we are only inches apart, a bring my right hand to his face, caressing his cheek, slowly with my thumb. He closes his eyes, trying to keep all the pain in, but can't stop a tear from escaping his eyes. I wipe it away with my finger, letting it lightly graze through his red, soft lips. I stare at his mouth, thinking intensely about kissing it. I look at his eyes again. I can't kiss him. I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons, which would only bring him more pain. His eyes were looking at my mouth too. The tears are now running endlessly down his face. He gets even closer, i can feel his breath on my face, making it even harder to control myself. "I want to kiss you so bad." he whispers, as a sob wrecks its way down his throat. My heart beats fast. Pain. His in so much pain. A tear runs down my face. " Maybe, it will make all this pain go away" he continues. I try to smile, but my eyes are so sad, i can't. I nod, and slowly bring our mouths together. i pull away after just a few seconds. "This isn't right!" my mind was screams, but it feels right, and all i really want is for him to stop suffering. We gaze at each other eyes. Tears and more tears are still streaming down his face, but less than moments before. This time, he is the one to close the gap between us, fast, fierce. The tears stop falling. Each second we kiss, i feel the sadness coming out of him, directly into me, dressed as love.

Seconds, minutes, hours later, we part. The way he was kissing me made me loose track of time. But we stay there, foreheads touching,eyes closed, trying not to drown in our grief. Damon reaches for my hand and presses it to his chest in a way that i can feel his racing heart calming down at each crack of the fire in the back. I open my eyes and find his blue ones staring at mine, making butterflies erupt in my stomach. i walk towards the bed pulling him with me, and we lay there, hand in hand, not saying a word. The rational part of me starts waiting for some sort of guilt to make its way in. it doesn't happen. If i am going to feel guilty about something i am going to feel guilty about this. A kiss. Somehow this is what makes its way in. A shiver runs its way down my spine and i shake slightly. Damon notices and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. How come such an amazing man be in love with me? How come i think he was a monster? When people see good, they expect good, and i don't wanna have to live up to anyone else expectations, I hear, to low to be real, to real to be imagination.

i move my head to the side, to look at him and I meet his blue orbs. I feels something changing inside my head. Like gears shifting, like a cage dor bursting open. Suddenly I close my eyes, and a wave of images, voices and feelings washes over me. We always survive. i will always close you. You are my life. I cant be selfish with you. I don't deserve you. It is the most real thing i have ever felt in my entire life. Please don't leave me. I am choosing to let you go. You want a love that consumes you. I am not sorry that i am in love with you. I love you Damon. Damon I…I know. Kisses. Fights. Whispers. Promises. I open my eyes again and smile widely. i approach Damon slowly, until our lips are mere inches apart. I look in his eyes and close the gap between us. I giggle into the kiss, and back away. He raises his eye brown at me and asks " What was that for?" " I was having a really crappy day, and i needed it" I smirk knowingly. He smiles and smiles and smiles, The smile i missed so much, the grief and sadness from moments before forgotten. "You remember" he whispers and i just nod yes. He pulls me closer and hug me a bone crushing hug. " But i'd still love you even if i didn't" i say, before joining our lips once more.