The Talk

by: ashleylynn167

Itachi waited in the shadows as Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto rounded the corner, leaving the training grounds after a long training session. He jumped into the trees and tailed close behind them until they parted from one another.

Sakura waved at Sasuke and blew him a kiss. As she turned Sasuke rolled his eyes and shook his head. Placing his hands in his pockets, he started for home, taking his time.

A leaf fell from the tree and landed right in front of him. He looked down at it then looked up. Where the leaf had fell, Itachi appeared before him in a swirl of smoke.

Sasuke jumped back then stood up straight. "Itachi?"

"Sasuke..." he glared. "You never told me you had a girlfriend." he smirked.

"...what?"

"The pink haired girl...she lusts for you."

"Like I didn't notice that." Sasuke said, starting to walk again. Itachi got in front of him. Look she's not my-"

"Sasuke...we need to talk..."

"Ugh...here we go..." Sasuke sat down on the bench and Itachi sat next to him. "...so...what is it this time?" Sasuke asked after a long uncomfortable silence.

"I feel that with father gone, I have assumed the role of the father figure...how selfish to leave without telling you something this important."

"You're the one who killed him."

"That's not the point." Itachi shifted his body and faced Sasuke. "Father never got the chance to give you..." Itachi looked over both shoulders then leaned closer to Sasuke. "...'the talk'... " he whispered nodding.

Sasuke stood up and backed away.

"Okaaaay...Do I have t-"

"Sit back down." he said pulling him back, forcing him to sit. "Now...I know when you look at Sakura you might get these...temptations..."

"What...the hell...are you talking about."

"You know...the visioning her naked when you're training...the eyes shifting down her shirt when you talk to her...oh yeah, and that tingly feeing you get in your-"

"Okaaay...we're done..." Sasuke got up, red in the face, and started walking off. Itachi followed.

"I'm not done yet."

"Oh yes you are."

"Sasuke...you're becoming a man...and I have to teach you to be a civilized man...one who keeps his...'manhood'... in his pants and doesn't fantasize about a girl's...'items'." Itachi said shaping the outline of just that.

"Could you stop talking?"

"When you and this girl come to love each other deeply and decided to make little babies together, then...and only then...should you show each other your 'parts' and get down to business." he smiled devilishly.

"Will you shut the hell up already?"

"They don't teach you this stuff at the academy Sasuke. I realize when the time comes it's going to be very very uncomfortable-"

"Please stop talking..."

"But believe me...you'll enjoy it."

Sasuke gagged a bit. "...enjoy it?"

"Hell..I did!"

He held his stomach. "Oh god..."

--END

Author's End Note: Read&Review!!