301st Idiots in Armour: Book One: From Kamino to Bespin

Chapter One: The Beginning

It was, like usual, a dark, gloomy day on the cloning world of Kamino.

All of the other battalions were on their way to Geonosis, where Master Yoda and the other Jedi were attacking a Battle Droid Factory, except for the 301st, who had been held back for some reason.

As Commander Starkiller walked to his troop meeting, he wondered why he wasn't on a cruiser, heading in to battle.

He went into the meeting room, and saw Commander Neo sitting in his seat. "Well well, if it isn't my second in command, Commander Neo." Said Starkiller.

"Starkiller, your assistant is late. I ordered Jawa Juice over an hour ago!" said Neo.

"Well I'm sorry, but there are more urgent matters to discuss." Said Starkiller, in a slightly annoyed tone.

Suddenly, a young clone trooper with pitch black hair burst through the doors, carrying a tray with cold Jawa Juice.

"Sorry sirs, I was distracted and went the wrong way, that's why I'm so late." Said the young clone, in a slightly afraid voice.

"Trooper, I want your name! NOW!" Yelled Neo.

"Um, Pro sir, ." Said the young clone trooper.

"I meant your number!" Yelled Neo.

"CT-3441 sir!" Said GamerPro.

"Calm down Neo, there is no need to yell." Said Starkiller, angrily.

The young trooper named GamerPro looked around, wondering what would happen next.

"Now, oh yes, I almost forgot to tell you, THE SEPRITISTS ARE ATTACKING KAMINO!" Screamed Starkiller.

A look of horror swept across Neo's face.

The young Sergeant looked as if he was about to faint.

Suddenly, the alarms went off and groups of Clone Troopers Marched through the room, and out to the cannons.

The battle began.

Chapter Two: The Battle of Kamino

"We need more troops Commander! We'll never hold the front lines without reinforcements!" Yelled a Clone Captain.

"Sorry, we're fresh out'a clones for today, come back tomorrow!" Said a Clone Officer.

"Ha ha, very funny." Said the Captain.

"We're not a fast food service! You can't just ask for clones as you need em! And I wasn't joking about bein' out'a clones." Said the Officer.

"Fine, we'll send out da Commander!"

"Good, wait, WHAT!" Said the Captain.

"THE COMMANDER IS AN IDIOT!" Yelled the Captain.

Suddenly, there was an explosion in the background.

"Fine, we'll take any troops we can get." Said the Captain.

"Hopefully he dies." Whispers the Captain.

Commander Starkiller was thinking about something as he entered the gunship.

He was paying so little attention to where he was going, that he walked right into .

"Oops, sorry." Said the Commander.

"It's okay, you have the right to be distracted. After all, you have to think of a tactic." Said GamerPro.

"No, it's not that, something seemed strange about Neo, like he was trying to hide something." Said Starkiller.

"Oh god no." Said the Captain, as he looked up at the Separatist Cruiser.
The Cruiser could send so many Battle Droids to Tipoca City that the 301st would lose catastrophically.
The Droid Gunships flew out of the immense hanger bays and headed for Tipoca.
The Clones looked as if they would rather get eaten by a rancor that got eaten by a sarlac that was inside a sun.
"Well," The Captain thought," This battle just got started."

***

The gunship engines would normally be ear-breaking, but Commander Starkiller was deep in thought. "What was Neo trying to hide from him? Was Neo a traitor? No, that isn't possible. It was probably simple like, he was sick and dying, or wanting to desert."
"Is everything ok Commander?" Said GamerPro.
"Hmm, what could he be up to...Oh, sorry, what did you say?" Said Starkiller.
"Is everything alright?" Said GamerPro.
"Umm, yes, yes it is." Said Starkiller.
"Just, I'm thinking..."

What had just happened would have been normal for any Clone that was on a battlefield, but… they were on their home world, Kamino!

"How did the separatists find it?" Thought Captain.

Suddenly, he heard the noise of Gunship engines, and knew that his 'Reinforcements' were here.

"Hello SIR!" Said Captain, as Commander Starkiller jumped out of the Gunship.

"No need to salute Trooper! And what's your name?" Said Starkiller, trying to be calm

despite the situation.

"CT-11" Began Captain, but was interrupted by Starkiller.

"I meant, your NAME." Said Starkiller.

"Um, just call me Captain Sir, that's what everyone calls me."

BOOM! Suddenly the ground shook, and they thought that they were under attack again, but when they looked up they saw only a Republic Ventor Class Cruiser.

"YEAH! WooHoo!" Screamed Clone Troopers, as the battle was won.

"Well, I guess these are our reinforcements." Says Starkiller.

Starkiller thought the battle was over, the grand adventure finished, but he, and GamerPro, and Captain's adventure was just beginning.

Chapter Three: Cloud City Rescue Gone Wrong

The mission was simple, get in, get the package, and get out.

"All right men! Our objective is to rescue Commander Ahsoka from the Droids."

Said Starkiller.

"What's so important about a Jedi, especially a padawan, anyway?" Said GamerPro.

"Have you heard of General Skywalker?"

"Yes" Says GamerPro.

"Well this is his padawan and if we rescue her, he said he'll get rid of the 301st and merge our battalion with his, the 501st." Said Starkiller.

"Plus, some clones say that Commander Tano is the most beautiful creature in the galaxy."

"Oh yeah… Ahsoka is definitely the most beautiful creature in the galaxy." Said GamerPro, sarcastically.

As the blaring gunship engines shut off, GamerPro wondered how this mission would end.

He had thought that it would be easy, but it wouldn't be.

They had finally made it to the final objective, the main command post.

Suddenly, they saw a Droid cutting through the blast doors, to execute the prisoner.

They shot the Droid and went to the door.

When they opened it, the first thing GamerPro said was "Wow, Commander, you were right, she is beautiful."

The worst had happened.

The Commander had taped down his trigger on his blaster because of a simple sarcastic comment from Captain, and he had paid for it.

When Starkiller sat down, he accidentally fired and the ricochet off the floor had shot her.

GamerPro had smashed his Vibroblade in to his Commander's visor when he stopped crying.

The blade had almost killed Starkiller.

"Easy brother!" Said Captain.

"We've all wanted to do that, but we didn't."

"HE COULD HAVE KILLED HER!" Screamed GamerPro, as his eye's gleamed red with fury.

"Uggghhh… My head…Uggghhh…" Says Starkiller, weakly.

Ahsoka groans in pain.

"Are you ok? Are you alive?" Said GamerPro, worriedly.

Ahsoka was quite on the way back to Coruscant.

The medics quickly took Ahsoka away.

Chapter Five: GamerPro's secret

No one must know that he and Ahsoka fell in love.

He had gone on a date with her, thanks to Starkiller's spare credits.

This would be the beginning of the 301st, but they would have a new nickname, The Idiots in Armour!