It was a regular day for Kyoko Sakura. She had woken up, eaten some snacks, and headed out to find a witch. She had no luck, of course, so she had followed her usual routine of ending an unsuccessful hunt with a few rounds of DDR.

Unfortunately for Kyoko, her routine was to be interrupted by a certain cryptic time-traveler.

"Kyoko Sakura, I would like to have a word with you-"

"Jesus Christ, where the hell did you come from!"

The redhead's cry drew an odd look or two, before the more experienced bystanders realized just who was causing the commotion, and went back to their lives.

"Jeez, ya really scared the crap outta me. What're you doing here, anyway?"

Homura refrained from sighing in exasperation, having already prepared herself for dealing with Kyoko's oddities.

"As I just said, I am here to talk to you."

Kyoko's eyebrow arched up, as she looked at Homura with suspicion.

"And what exactly would you be here to talk about? I ain't got all day, ya know."

Homura fixed the redhead with a look of exasperation, already knowing that it was going to be one of those days.

"I have come to you with a... proposition. I noticed that you seem to have a certain... problem, and, having a similar problem myself, I believe that we could assist each other in our troubles.".

Kyoko narrowed her eyes, brow furrowing as she considered the offer.

"Are you offering what I think you're offering?"

Homura nearly sighed in relief. Kyoko had caughten on, then. It seemed that she had somewhat misjudged the other girl after all. Maybe Kyoko was smarter than she let on.

"Of course."

"Well, I can see why you're offering, but I gotta say no. You're not really my type, and I ain't the kinda girl to do that with just anyone."

...On second thought, maybe Kyoko wasn't that bright.

"Kyoko... what exactly do you think I'm suggesting, here?"

"To do the horizontal hokey-pokey with me, duh. Work out some of that stress by doing the titalicious tango, the Imax and climax."

This time, Homura did sigh. Once again, Kyoko's mind was too far in the gutter to comprehend what Homura was trying to say. Why did this happen every time…

"Assault with a friendly weapon, the pants-off dance-off, bam-bam in the ham, attacking the pink fortress, locking legs and swapping gravy, getting to know each other in the biblical sense-"

"No, I'm not offering to have casual sex with you. I was talking about your crush on Sayaka."

Kyoko's eyebrows returned to their heightened state. Homura was almost offended that the other magical girl was more surprised by the idea that she wasn't offering sex than the idea that she was.

"Wait, really? But you were going on about how I have a problem, and you had the same problem. And I mean come on, you said you had a proposition. No one ever says that without wanting to bang the person they're saying it to!"

"No, that was not my intent-"

"In fact, I'm pretty sure I saw a hentai with that exact wording. I think I left it in my hotel, but It would only take me a few minutes to get it."

Gritting her teeth, Homura tried once again to get the redhead back on task.

"If you are done comparing me to a hentai character, I did come here with an offer. I have noticed that you wish to 'acquire the blue booty'. Likewise, I wish to tap the Madonkadonk, and I believe that we could help each other in our efforts to woo our respective loved ones."

Kyoko leaned forward, now interested in Homura's proposal.

"If you will follow me back to my apartment," continued Homura, " I would be happy to explain the Plan in greater detail."

"Sure," Kyoko said, shrugging. "Lead the way."


Kyoko flopped on the red couch, twisting herself to fit on its odd curvature. She yawned, gazing at the decidedly abnormal room she found herself in. Smirking, she turned her gaze to her host.

"So, what're we going to do on the...couch, bed, sacrificial altair thingy?"

Homura sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she opened her laptop.

"Don't be lewd, Kyoko. I brought you here to show you the plan I drew up, so could you please just remain quiet while I bring it up?"

Kyoko sighed, letting her head fall onto the so-called 'couch'.

"Man, what a terrible host you are. Not even going to feed me?"

Homura once again turned her gaze to the rambunctious redhead she called her friend. Knowing that Kyoko would not stop without something to do, she resolved to undergo the ultimate sacrifice in order to secure the minute necessary to bring up her Plan.

Steadying herself in preparation for the oncoming storm, Homura turned towards her guest.

"There is food in the fridge, so if you would like to help yourself-"

"Really?" Not even waiting for the raven-haired girl to answer, Kyoko lept from the….. Thing and ran straight into the kitchen. Homura briefly wondered how Kyoko even knew where the kitchen was, before abandoning that train of thought. Many a long night had been spent pondering Kyoko's many sixth senses, and the only result had been sleep deprivation and even more questions than before. Shaking her head, she refocused on the task at hand. The loss of her food stores would only buy her a minute or two, and she would not let her sacrifice be in vain.

After a mere minute of typing and searching, Homura had her Plan projected into the air. While she had initially set the system up in order to help the others understand the dangers posed by Walpurgisnacht, it was currently being repurposed for far more important task.

Noticing movement, Homura turned towards the kitchen. As expected, Kyoko was shuffling out. She was patting her stomach, looking for all the world like she had just

"Man, you really need to stock up on food. Your fridge was practically empty!"

"Of course it is," lied Homura. " Anything I eat, I keep in my shield. The food in there is in case I need to get rid of you."

In truth, she found food stored in her shield to taste somewhat off. While that was an acceptable loss, she did try to indulge herself every once in a while. And of course, in the event of a Date with Madoka, the instant ramen stored in her shield simply would not do.

Kyoko snorted, content smile shifting into an amused smirk.

"You're a sweet-talker, ain't ya? In any case, I can see why you'd want my help for your whole romance thing."

Homura stood up, motioning to the holoscreen.

"As you can see, I've compiled a Plan for how we can help each other in our respective love lives. As you can see here-"

Wow," said Kyoko, interrupting the other girl's carefully planned monologue. "This thing's pretty detailed. Aren't you worried that we'll fuck it up?"

Homura turned to her oh so polite guest, leveling her with a gaze that could make puppies cry. She felt the urge to ask if she was going to be interrupted the whole night, but she knew better than to give Kyoko verbal ammunition.

"If I may continue, this Plan is highlights all the different ways we can help each other," she said, turning back to the screen. "But to know how we can help each other, we must first know what problems we face. You will have a difficult time getting Sayaka Miki to be interested in you, for a variety of reasons. First, you have given her a bad first impression. She believes you to be selfish and evil, and she is unwilling to change that opinion. The second issue is her crush on Kyousuke Kamijou. She won't start a relationship while still pining after him, but she won't confess to him either; at least not without outside interference. The third problem is that she believes herself to be heterosexual."

Kyoko snorted, eyebrow arching in disbelief.

"Really? She's that dumb? Stupid Sayaka. Stupid, sexy Sayaka."

Homura nodded to herself. Of course Kyoko would find that tidbit of information to be strange. In one of the more successful loops, Kyoko had confided in her that she was able to smell homosexuality. It was among the many things the redhead could pick up on, and she had said that every magical girl she had met absolutely reeked of it.

"This brings us to solving those problems," said Homura. "I will not be able to accomplish much in regard to her view of you, but I could push Madoka into helping out on that front. She truly wants everyone to get along, and I'm certain that she would leap at the opportunity to help you two make up. She's so amazing…" she snapped to attention, realizing that she had been going off on a tangent.

Ignoring Kyoko's snickers, she continued. "As for her crush on Kyousuke, there are several possible solutions. She could be driven to confess to him, and you could swoop in when she is inevitably rejected. It will be tricky to push her towards that end, though once again Madoka would be able to help tremendously. You could ignore the problem entirely, and instead make her choose between the two of you. This could easily result in failure, so it should be attempted only as a last resort. Lastly, you could remove Kyousuke Kamijou from the picture entirely."

"You mean like hypnotizing his parents to move to the USA, right?"

Ignoring Kyoko, Homura continued. "Unfortunately, this will put Sayaka in a depressive spiral, and end any chances of a relationship. Therefore, it is advisable that we take the first or second options. As for the problem of her sexuality, there are so many ways we could make her realize that she is attracted to girls that going over them would be a waste of time. I trust your judgement in this issue, though do remember that Sayaka is not known for her grasp of subtlety."

Kyoko focussed her gaze on Homura, eyes narrowing.

"So that's it? Flirt with her and get Madoka to help?" She snorted, lips turning upwards in disgust.

"And let me guess, the best way to ensure Madoka's help is to hook her up with you. Who would've guessed. And what, will the plan change once you two are together, because 'I couldn't make her think I was just using her to hook you two up, so I'll have to play it slow,' or some bull like that?'"

Homura frowned, lips turning downwards in frustration.

"Kyoko, you know it's not like that. It would also be easier for me to establish a relationship with Madoka were Sayaka willing to support me, but we both know that's unlikely to happen. This is simply the logical step."

Kyoko sighed, her gaze dropping to the floor.

"Yeah yeah, I get it. It's just.. It's not that I don't trust you, but just-"

"You aren't comfortable putting blind faith in people. I understand. You don't have reason to believe I will follow through on my end of the bargain, and even though you trust me there is still a niggling of doubt in your mind. It seems like I need you far more than you need me, and that I am simply dangling a relationship with Sayaka in front of you as bait."

Homura sighed, wishing once again that people would just believe her.

"Yeah, ya really hit the nail on the head with that one. Not sure I woulda been quite so wordy about it, but you got the feeling."

Homura smiled slightly, gazing fondly at her old friend.

"If it makes you feel any better-

"Holy shit, was that a smile?" Kyoko grinned as she jumped to her feet, grabbing the time-traveler's shoulders. "I swear to God I just saw you smiling! Oh Homura, I'm so proud of you! I didn't know you were even capable of showing affection for people!"

Homura's face returned to its stoic visage, and already she was beginning to regret that lapse in control.
"Kyoko, we are currently in my apartment, reading over an extremely detailed plan for me to hook up with the girl I love, and then hook you up with Sayaka."

Kyoko tilted her head, staring at her host.

"So?"

"So I would say that I am more than capable of showing affection."

She paused, pondering whether to go further. After a moment, she decided that she could afford to grow close to them. After all, it would be the last loop. It had to be.

"I'm just not that good at showing it. At expressing myself without it coming across as fake, or creepy."

Kyoko took a small step back, shock only somewhat feigned. "Wait, you're telling me you weren't trying to be intimidating?"

"No, I wasn't. And that's why I need your help." She grabbed the redhead's shoulders,staring at her with renewed intensity. "I'll almost certainly be just as bad when I approach Madoka. I need you to be my backup, my wingman. Kyoko, I can't do this without you."

Kyoko smiled weakly, pulling back just a tad from the sudden physical contact.

"Alright, alright. You can quit it with the touchy-feely stuff, I get the point. You're a loser and need my awesomeness to balance it out, and I need your Madoka to help pierce Sayaka's frosty exterior."

She sat down on the couch, pulling out a box of pocky and offering it to the weary time-traveler. Raising her eyebrow in a questioning glance, Homura accepted the snack.

"With my charm and your plans," said the redhead, already on her second piece. "We'll both be whipped in no time. So, Are we going to do this or what?"

"Yeah," said Homura. "We'll do this. And you know what? We'll only need to try once."