This was not supposed to happen, Josephine decides.

She and Leliana have been friends for years, just friends, any feelings she has have been left behind she is sure of it.

She was sure of it.

Yet, here she is, watching Leliana command an army, and all she can think about is how beautiful she is.

Even as the world seems to be collapsing.

Leliana had recommended her to the Divine to be an ambassador to the Inquisition; she's only been here a few weeks and already she feels like everything is going wrong.

She's pretty sure she's going to get fired.

There's a hole in the sky and the divine is dead and there are demons everywhere. Josephine is holed up in the chantry in Haven with some soldiers and the civilians staying out of the way. Every so often Leliana comes to check on her, before heading back out into the fray. Josephine has offered once or twice to fetch her rapier and dagger but Leliana won't hear of it.

Josephine can fight but she's not sure she should. It's a relief when Leliana says no over and over.

Still, this is definitely not the time to be dwelling on her years' old crush. Because curse-it she did have a crush once. Now it's just a passing interest in Leliana's beauty and protective spirit and the way she walks.

She's sure of it.

It doesn't matter anyway, she's getting fired and she's going to have to go back to her family and sort out that mess without any income or influence.

"Lady Montilyet," a soldier says, Cauthrien she thinks, "Sister Nightingale needs you in the meeting room."

"Oh, of course."

She abandons her letter, a useless effort at this point, and heads out into the chantry proper to see Cassandra and Cullen heading into the room they've taken over at the back of the chantry for their meetings.

"What has happened?" she asks following them. Leliana is already there, pacing the room.

"The Qunari closed the breach. Temporarily at least Solas says," she tells her. Josephine comes to stand next to her. Her friend looks tired, washed out, but still pretty.

She has a problem.

"Where is the prisoner?"

"She's not really a prisoner is she?" Leliana tells her. "She's unconscious in one of the houses. Adan is caring for her now."

"The soldiers are calling her the Herald of Andraste," Cullen said. "Your scouts too."

"A Qunari?!" Cassandra says.

Josephine just listens.

"We shall still go forward with the Inquisition. We need to now more than ever," Leliana says, "if you will stay with us, Josie."

"Of course!" she doesn't like the way she sounds when she says that. "Of course, I had just assumed..."

"Assumed what Ambassador?" Cullen asks.

"That you would no longer desire my services, considering how bad things have gone."

Cassandra huffs and Leliana smiles softly at her. Cullen shakes his head.

"None of this was your fault Lady Montilyet," Cassandra says, "that was true before we discovered that the Qunari was innocent too."

"Herah," Leliana says, "her name is Herah."

"Herah," Cassandra tries it out but Josephine is still in shock. "Either way your services and dedication to this cause have so far been exemplary."

"We would not turn away your skills now my friend," Leliana said. "We need you more than ever."

Josephine nods, a little dumbstruck.

"Do we have a plan?" she asks

"That we need help with," Cassandra replies and Josephine finds her feet again as they start to discuss the future.

Xxx

Leliana is praying and Josephine is reluctant to disturb her but she did ask for her and here she is, bundled up from the cold and waiting.

"Do you think the Maker is punishing me, Josie?" Leliana asks finally, leaning back on her heels. "Punishing us all."

The anger in her voice has her rushing up to her friend and pulling her into an embrace.

"He works in mysterious ways," she says softly, "but he is not punishing you, my friend. Perhaps it is a test."

"Then we are doomed to fail."

Leliana pulls away, and Josephine almost falls back onto her behind but the redhead has both hands on hers and pulls her to her feet.

"Thank you," she murmurs. "But we shall not fail."

"Oh, Josie," Leliana smiles and cups her cheek. Josephine leans into the touch for a moment. "Thank you." She lets her hand fall away and Josephine wants it back, wants to follow it, but manages to stand up straight and nod.

"You're welcome," she says.

What she wants now is to wrap her arms around Leliana once more, hold her close and cradle her head against her breast and the vision is so strong she sways towards her friend for a moment.

"Are you unwell Josephine?"

"No, no, just a little cold."

"Then let us talk inside, it's late and cold even for Haven."

"I don't know why we had to have the conclave in the Frostbacks," Josephine says as they turn back towards the chantry.

"You know exactly why Josie," Leliana says, "but we weren't supposed to be here for this long."

"I know," she sighs, "I am not used to the cold as well you know."

"I know," she links her arm with the ambassadors as they push open the large door together. "And if I did not need you so I would send you home or back to Orlais where it is safe."

"I do not need protecting Leliana," she says, quiet now they're inside. "From the cold or any of this," she waves her hand to indicate the current situation and Leliana laughs.

"I know that too. But I like to."

Josephine blushes slightly.

"And I do need you, now more than ever."

"I'm honoured to work for the Inquisition. And I believe in it."

They enter the little room they are sharing. There are three beds, one for Cassandra should she choose to use it or actually get any sleep. Josephine thinks she is sleeping in the tents with the soldiers but she isn't sure. Either way, she cannot convince the woman to come sleep in the room they have.

Josephine doesn't mind, she gets Leliana to herself when they're in there. On the odd occasion that they do sleep that is. Leliana sits her down on the bed and smiles.

"Josie, I need you. Not the inquisition. At least not just the inquisition."

She sucks in a breath at that, watching as Leliana starts her evening routine. She can't move now, watching as Leliana removes her hood, her chainmail, her tunic. She smiles at Josephine, and holds a hand out, standing there in her breastband and leggings.

"I need you to hold me," she says, "I need to cry and grieve and feel but I cannot, not right now."

"Why not?" Josephine asks.

"Because we have to save the world again because the Maker is either punishing me or testing me because I'm not sure I even know how to any more."

"Leliana," Josephine sighs but lets the other woman start to undo the sashes around her waist. She lets her strip her down to her underthings, and when she is done, pulls her over the bed she has claimed as her.

"You are not so broken that you cannot grieve for Justinia," Josephine says. She slides in the bed next to Leliana, wraps her around her exactly like she imagined before and presses her head to her chest. "But I am here regardless."

"I know."

Josephine turns off the lantern and in the darkness feels her friend relax and fall to sleep in her embrace. She stays awake for a little while and enjoys the moment until she too is too tired to keep her eyes open.

Xxx

Leliana was gone by the morning.

Josephine expected as much, and they don't talk about it for the next few days. Or at all. But her friend seems better and Josephine has something to think about when she's cold. Leliana's body is warm and fits perfectly against hers and holding her that night has not helped her crush in the slightest.

Not that she has a crush. Because the world may be ending and they really don't have time for that sort of thing.

"Lady Montilyet? Josephine?"

She looks up at Cullens voice and smiles.

"Sorry Commander, I was elsewhere," she says handing him a report.

"Somewhere good I hope." She can't help the blush and looks away from him. Cullen chuckles. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Perhaps, but these are not the times for such fanciful thoughts."

Cullen shakes his head, moving around the table so he can face Josephine.

"Now is exactly the time for such thoughts. We shouldn't lose hope of everything we want because of the bad times. We're fighting to preserve the good times after all."

"Cullen," Josephine starts.

"I know better than anyone, you shouldn't put the good times off because bad things are happening."

She reaches out and squeezes his hand and he blushes too but accepts the gesture.

"Go get the girl?" he suggests.

"Commander! What do you know?"

He laughs then, rounding her desk once more on his way out of the room.

"Nothing Leliana doesn't already know," he tells her.

Josephine frowns and is glad Minaeve isn't in her corner right now.

That Cullen knows...something doesn't really tell her what Leliana knows. Or what they think they know.

It doesn't matter because now is not the time. Even if Cullen is correct about seizing the good things even in the bad times it doesn't mean Josephine should abandon her work. There are letters to write and an angry Comte to deal with and Leliana doesn't need her right now.

And she doesn't need Leliana. Or her smile. Or her body. Or the way she mutters the chant of light in her sleep.

Which Josephine finds both heartbreaking and adorable and intimidating. She is Andrastian, she believes in the Maker and Andraste and the Inquisition but Leliana lives it, night and day. She's not sure she can compete with that. If she should even try.

Still, she has several letters to finish before she can turn in and the Herald is due back from the Storm Coast soon. Whatever Cullen's advice, her own crush, Leliana's faith, there is work to be done. And she throws herself into it wholeheartedly.

Xxx

"Are you planning to come to bed at all tonight?" Leliana asks.

Josephine looks up from her report and frowns.

"Eventually."

"Are you avoiding me?" the spy asks.

"No! Are you avoiding me?"

Leliana chuckles.

"Oh course not Josie," she says, coming further into the room and round Josephine's desk. She reaches out and pulls the ambassador to her feet. "Let me hold you tonight."

She's tempted by that, by the way Leliana's lips form the words, her accent smooth and comforting. But there is work to be done and feelings to avoid.

Except Leliana is already leading her out of the room and Josephine is letting her, because she wants nothing more than to lie with the woman she loves again. Even if it is just to sleep.

And she does love her. That she is sure of suddenly.

So she lets Leliana lead her through the chantry once more, lead her through life too, and in their room she lets her friend undress her, down to her breastband and underwear but she doesn't stop there. Josephine sucks in a breath as Leliana removes her breastband first, hesitating but continuing when the ambassador doesn't stop her. She pulls down her smalls too, slowly, and Josephine gasps when she feels Leliana's fingers run down her legs.

"Leliana," she whispers.

"Shush Josephine," she says, "it's okay."

At her urging Josephine gets into bed and watches as Leliana strips down too, her own underwear pulled off and placed in the piles of clothes too and Leliana is as beautiful as she imagined. More so. She is all muscles and pale, pale skin, scars here and there and oh Josephine is lost.

She slips under the covers with her, pulls Josephine to her so they are skin to skin, warmth and against warmth and Josephine barely manages to contain her moan. Leliana sighs, wraps an around Josephine and the ambassador rests her head against Leliana's breasts.

She thinks now would be a good time to tell her how she feels.

"What are we doing?" she asks instead.

"Falling in love Josie," Leliana answers, kissing the top of her head.

With that Josephine falls to sleep listening to Leliana's heartbeat.

She's still there in the morning. They've shifted in the night so they're wrapped around one another, torso to torso and every inch of her is pressed against Josephine in the best possible way. Leliana is smiling when she wakes, watching her. Josephine decides not to say anything, to act instead of asking and leans forward to kiss Leliana on the lips.

Leliana kisses back, pulling Josephine impossibly closer until the ambassador is half lying on top of the other woman.

"I love you, Josephine," Leliana says in between kisses.

"I know," she replies with a smile, her cheeks aching with it. "I love you too. Have done for some time."

"I know, but I could not...it was complicated."

"It still is," Josephine tells her.

Leliana chuckles and kisses her again, shifting so that she is lying on top of Josephine, slipping one leg between the ambassador's thighs and pressing.

"Oh," she moans. "Oh."

"Perhaps, perhaps not," Leliana says, kissing slowly over her jaw, down her neck, closer and closer to Josephine's breasts but never close enough. Josephine has lost the thread of the conversation and loses her train of thought as soon as she feels her lips skim over her nipples. Leliana chuckles at her reaction and takes pity, closing her lips around one tight bud. Josephine moans, arching up into her mouth, hand carding through her red hair to hold her there.

Leliana licks and sucks, swirls her tongue around her nipple before scraping her teeth over it. Josephine feels the pleasure run through her body, hot, burning and she tries to encourage Leliana to move but the redhead simply switches to her other breast to give it the same treatment. Josephine gasps and moans but simply holds on as the other woman takes her time.

When she does move, Josephine is a little startled but oh so glad to feel Leliana shifting her legs apart to settle between them. She can't help arch her hips up a little at the feel of breath over the slick heat of her centre and when Leliana bends her head to lick a line over her she sighs in relief. It's so good, just that little touch of tongue, that she might cry if Leliana does more.

Then she presses between her wet lips, pushes into her body and Josephine keens, hands back in Leliana's hair as she tries not to buck up into the soft pressure of the woman's tongue. Her nose bumps her clit and she knows she's not going to last long but she's far from embarrassed about it. She just wants more and more but she doesn't know how to ask for it.

She can't remember how to use her voice if nothing else.

But she can use her body and she moves her hips and Leliana follows, thrusting her tongue in and out of her heat. She's so hot and slick, she can feel it on her thighs, on the redhead's cheeks as they press against her and she's making noises she doesn't quite recognise.

Then she feels Leliana's hand move, feels a digit circle her clit and her hips circle too, chasing the feeling, chasing the high that threatens to have her spilling all her secrets to the world.

"It's okay Josie," Leliana says softly, pulling back, "trust me."

And she does, trusts Leliana in all things, especially this and she lets herself relax, lets Leliana have complete control and as her mouth presses against her once more she comes.

She feels it in her heart, warm and solid, surrounding her. Feels it from her toes up and her head down. Feels every touch of Leliana's tongue and fingers on her body until it's too much and put she can't get away, doesn't want to and another peak crests. She cries out and doesn't stop until Leliana is kissing her, lips on hers, tasting of her slick and she shudders against the redhead for long moments.

When she's calm...calmer…Josephine curls into Leliana's embrace and closes her eyes.

"Sleep back to sleep my love," she whispers and the ambassador does so.

Later, when the sun is too high in the sky, Leliana is still there and even though she has a million and one things to do, that's all that matters.