Author's Note: This has been an inside joke between myself and delightisadream for what must be years now. I came up with this scenario forever ago and now I finally turned it into a fic. Also – obligatory annual upload: complete. Enjoy!

Notice: This fic contains Daniel humor. If that is not your cup of tea, that is perfectly fine. All I ask is that you move along and refrain from being rude in the reviews.

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Ya Know, Miller… by lovethatignites

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"Mr. Alonso, may I have a word?"

Francisco physically felt himself deflate upon hearing that request from that voice.

It was mid-November of his daughter's—and Mr. Miller's—sophomore year, and. Well. Let's just say Francisco could've felt better about how this year was shaping up.

For the first six weeks of the school year, it had really seemed his prayers had been answered and Emma was moving onto a new boy, one who was nice, and polite, and Australian… But then, for reasons beyond his comprehension, Emma decided to break up with Jax and get back together with the specimen now asking to speak with him. His mood had been on a steady decline since October, which was usually his favorite month. So much for things that brought him joy…

As much as Francisco would've liked to keep on walking and pretend he hadn't heard the boy, they were on school grounds, he was the principal, and his daughter's unfortunate choice of mate was a student (one he personally had the misfortune of spending way too much time around as it was, since the boy was incapable of keeping himself out of detention). He was obligated to lend an ear.

He sighed and stopped in his tracks, bracing himself for whatever this could possibly be about. His best guess was Mr. Miller wanted him to reconsider his decision to ban him from the Alonsos' upcoming Thanksgiving dinner, which was absolutely not going to happen. Francisco knew Jax's family life was nonexistent, and he was hoping to instigate a Jemma reunion this upcoming holiday by inviting his daughter's attractive ex over for the get-together. No way was that lanky dank intruding.

If that wasn't what this was about, his only other guess was Daniel wanted to 'discuss' the fact Francisco had awarded him Scariest Costume at last month's Halloween parade when he hadn't dressed up.

Either way… he thought, shaking his head, he really wished this conversation didn't have to happen.

He took a deep breath and turned around, trying to force a smile but only achieving a grimace. How could he not? The boy was sweating, that much was noticeable, and his hair was poofing way more than usual. He knew Christine wasn't big in the money department since Rick left, but surely she could afford a pair of scissors!

"Mr. Miller," he began, voice tight. "Fourth period will be starting soon."

"This'll just take a second," he promised, looking hopeful.

Francisco made no attempt to hide his over-exaggerated sigh. "Go on."

Daniel blinked for a moment, seemingly stunned he had gotten this far. He recovered quickly and started into his speech. "I wanted to talk to you about our relationship."

Francisco's face contorted as though he had caught a whiff of something foul. "Mr. Miller! I don't know if this is your idea of a sick joke, but I am your principal—"

Daniel's hairline moved. "No! Wait! Not like that! I mean—I wanted to talk to you about my relationship with your daughter."

Francisco's horror smoothly transitioned into a look that clearly said, And that's supposed to be better?

For once, it appeared the subpar student managed to read the information in front of him correctly. "I know," he said defeatedly. "But—just hear me out."

Francisco leaned back, crossed his arms, and checked the overhead clock. This interaction had already been going on for way longer than he was willing to tolerate. But there were other teachers around, so he figured he should try to act professional.

Daniel cleared his throat and began. "I know you don't like me. But I really like Emma, and I really like being her boyfriend. And it's important to me that you and I find some way to get along. I know you think I pulled all those pranks on you, and I can't really explain, but I swear I was not behind any of them. Still, I'm sorry for the pudding and the soda regardless. I even saved up some money to buy you a new suit if you'd like."

Francisco was zoning out. This kid sure did talk a lot. Did he talk this much to his daughter? If so, it was a wonder she was on the honor roll and not falling asleep during her classes...

"I also looked online and found a few ways for dads to bond with their daughter's boyfriends," Daniel continued. "Math isn't my strong suit—as you're well aware—but there are some cool card games involving math that are pretty cheap on Amazon. And as far as athletics go, there's this great bike trail down the street from my house I thought we could check out…"

Speaking of checking out, Francisco wasn't even there. Physically, sure. But mentally? His mind was wandering. He noticed they were standing in front of that wretched trophy case once again. Oh, the many, many awful memories… And what was with all the pictures of Daniel, huh? Surely there should be some photos of other, better looking, more Australian Iridium High athletes lining the walls. Give the people something they want to look at!

Actually… Francisco squinted at one swim photo of Daniel in particular. What the hell…

"So what do you say?"

By the time he registered those words, Francisco realized the entire rest of the hall had cleared out, and he was all alone with an eager boy who had apparently been talking this entire time.

Francisco looked from the picture, to the boy standing before him in the flesh (prepubescent smile and all), and back to the picture again. He shook his head slightly and said, "Ya know, Miller… Until I met you, I didn't know it was possible to be fat and skinny at the same time."

The boy's face fell as Francisco turned to walk down the hall toward his office.

And then the bell rang.

"Detention, Mr. Miller!" he called over his shoulder. "Get to class!"

And swim with a shirt on from this moment forward, he added to himself, shuddering. He'd have to see about getting that added to the official Sharks rule book. Maybe Ms. Rueda could write an editorial about it for the school paper…