Darkness With No Dawn

This is a little story I decided to write simply because I thought Bella was PATHETIC in New Moon, and so I decided to write my own version, starting from the top. There is no pairing, but I may decide to make it Bella/Jacob…I don't know. This is really a spur of the moment story…Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 1: What the…?

It was a beautifully rainy day in Forks, Washington. Not that it mattered anyway, cuz Edward can't come out in the sun. Oh Edward, my Edward how perfect you are! You're perfect from your perfectly tousled brown hair to your perfect designer shoes! Oh my Edward! (AN: Yes ppl, I am mocking Bella.)

Now this day at school would be perfect, were it not mauled by the fact that it's my birthday. I can barely say the word in my mind without grimacing or mentally sneering the word. Ugh. Curse you Father Time! Why can't I stay young like Edward? Oh well.

So today Alice was seriously on my case about…birthday things. Like…oh Hell, I don't know, I really truly was trying to tune it all out. Maybe if I just tune everything out for a while tomorrow will come faster.

Using this method, I only managed to pick up the fact that Alice is throwing me a party. Craaap. I hate parties, but I couldn't stop her if I tried. I just focused on Edward…

*Fast forward*

Everything was so…green! It was a lot more bearable than I thought. I'm not giving into liking this idea, but I can't help but love my favorite color everywhere! The cake was right out of a magazine…I mean seriously, it was so cool. I wonder who was going to eat all of it, cuz I sure as sunshine am not going to gain that ten pounds…not that Edward would care. I waltzed down the staircase with ease and leisure, for this was the one moment of the day that I wanted to preserve. Until…I tripped. Clumsy me, huh? My darling Edward caught me though.

I got downstairs quite embarrassingly after my little birthday stumble…I mean I know they don't care, but come on! They already had the vampire thing on me; anything else was just ridiculous. I received their presents with grace and dignity, for once in my life huh? Just when I thought that everything was perfect and that I was going to have the best (and hopefully last) birthday of my life, I got a freaking paper-cut. No big deal, right? Wrong. I somehow missed this, and began idly sucking on my finger when Edward screamed. I had only ever heard the sound of his distress once, and I never wanted to hear it again. I looked up in panic, and saw…Jasper. A whole lotta Jasper coming very quickly at my face, which so happened to hold my finger, which so happened to be bleeding.

In the time it took for me to realize that I was in deep shit, I was suddenly flying as well. I then saw the…glass…table coming at me in slow motion with no means for me to stop myself from cutting myself. The last thing I heard before the glass shattering was me mumbling to myself that if I was a vampire, then the table would be afraid of me coming instead of the other way around. Then I heard the glass breaking, and I felt the disgusting feeling of my blood pouring all over my arm. I wrinkled my nose at the smell and the sight, and fainted.

Later…

I was on a table…or something, and Carlisle was pulling a needle through my arm. I didn't even try to look. Knew that would have been a one way ticket to faints-ville. I barely noticed the slight sting of the needle as it penetrated my arm again and again. Feeling awkward, I decided to fill the silence with the first thing that entered my head.

"What stinks?" Memorable, I know. Carlisle just smiled at me reassuringly.

"That would be the smell of the sealing gel." (AN: You know the stuff they spread on your skin when you get stitches? It's a yellowish gel. I don't know if it really smells or not, but that really was the first thing I thought of.) "It always smelled bad to me, but I never knew whether it smelled as bad to humans as it did to me. Interesting." he muttered, and continued stitching up my arm. I prayed to no one that he was almost done.

Apparently, he was. "All done, Bella. Just don't put any pressure on it, and take medication for the pain, but don't put any ice…or Edward…on it, okay?" I nodded. Suddenly, I was tired.

"Can I go home now? I'm really sleepy."

"Of course you can, Bella. Be sure to tell Charlie what happened." he said with a chuckle.

I laughed as well. "Okay, Carlisle. Maybe I should also tell him how old you really are too, hm?" I heard laughing from outside the house, followed by tiny Alice dancing in the room.

"How's Jasper? Is he okay?" she looked at me incredulously.

"Jasper's fine, Bella. Now tell Edward you're fine. He's been freaking out." A look crossed her face so fast I almost didn't catch it. It looked like…anger, and resentment. I've never known Alice to be either angry or resentful, so I shrugged it off and walked outside.

"Okay. Just let Jasper know I don't blame him at all." I really tried to force this point, because I didn't want Jasper feeling responsible. Alice just smiled and nodded.

Edward was pacing, and as soon as I walked out, he got that self loathing look again, and I grimaced. I inwardly smiled as I thought of the perfect way to get him to open up like I know he wont unless I force him to.

"Wanna see? It's gonna make an awesome scar. I can't wait."

He eyed me like I was crazy.

"Bella, did you take too much morphine or something? This is certainly not something to joke with. I almost got you killed!" he panicked.

"Well Mr. Optimism, can you stop your little tirade long enough to take the human home? Cuz she's pretty beat." I did my best to imitate his crooked smile. Epic Fail. He scooped me up without another word, but still with that Angel-esque frown on his face. (AN: Has anyone ever seen the episode of Angel where he was turned into a puppet? Think of that face with the perma-frown. For anyone who doesn't know, look up the Smile Time episode of Angel on Youtube. You'll see what I'm talking about.)

I must have fallen asleep in the car, because the next thing I remember was being carried into my house. Needless to say, Charlie freaked out asking questions. Once it was all cleared up, Edward brought me to my room and put my gently on the bed. And then the strangest thing happened.

He left.

I started freaking out, until I remembered that Charlie saw him come up here, so he couldn't possibly stay here without granting some suspicion. I relaxed a bit, but something still felt off. He hadn't told me he was coming right back like he usually did. I pushed that thought away and tried to change. I grunted in pain as my arm protested. I guess dressing is going to take a little more effort for a while. A few more grunts and groans, and I was somewhat comfortable in my cotton pajamas. I went downstairs and snuck a soda from the fridge. Nothing like grape soda to calm the nerves. And I was right. Instant comfort. I heard a thump from upstairs, and smiled at the thought of Edward upstairs. I tiptoed back upstairs without attracting attention. Score one for Bella. When I got to my room, I said aloud,

"Guess that makes up for my little trip on the stairs, huh Edward?" but he wasn't there. But…my window was open! That means he was at least here! I frowned. Why would he come deliberately when I was downstairs, and leave before I knew he was here? I took the bottle of pills on the mantle and swallowed them dry, suddenly not feeling like having grape soda anymore. I plopped down on the bed with an audible thump, favoring my left arm. I stared at the ceiling, wondering what was wring until I fell asleep at about 3 in the morning.

In the Morning…

I woke up very hot. It was so uncomfortable without my personal ice cube to cool me off every night. I looked at the grape soda on the mantle, which only reminded me of the awful feeling in my stomach last night and not wanting grape soda. I've never not wanted grape soda before, and I was kind of ticked that I still didn't want it. Seeing the bottle of pills only reminded me that my arm was killing me. After bitterly struggling to get ready for school, I saw that Edward chose that moment to show up in my driveway. I hadn't seen anything of Charlie, so I figured it must have been pretty late in the morning. I was right. I grabbed the pills off my mantle and put them into my bag before contemplating how I felt about Edward at that moment. I was pissed off no doubt, but I'm not sure that was Edward's fault. Shrugging, I walked over to his car smiling.

"How are you today? Not too moody, I hope." he looked at me with empty eyes.

"I'm fine. How's your arm?" I didn't like the way he was treating me already, and I'd only been with him for 30 seconds. This was going to be a long day.

"Fine." I said with a sigh.

The rest of the day was kind of annoying, especially because Alice wasn't there. I needed to ask her why Edward was being such a sour puss, and what was going to be the maximum damage.

You see, Edward had these moods all the time, though not to this extent. He would be particularly self-loathing about something for a while, then he would perk back up. Usually these moods had something to do with my safety or becoming a vampire or something else serious like that involving me. So you see why I had to find Alice.

But she wasn't there, and when I thought about it, Jasper's best option at this point wasn't to be around me just yet, and of course Alice would want to be there to comfort him every step of the way. Jasper knows I forgive him, I already told Alice that. Besides, it's not his fault for practically being a newborn. But this really wasn't the best time for Alice to go AWOL, either. There was nothing I could do, so I crossed my arms like a petulant child and pouted my way through the rest of the day. The most disturbing thing was that Edward didn't seem to notice me at all or say anything other than "how's your arm?" and that was getting annoying anyhow.

A week passes, and Edward's mood doesn't get better.

Okay, this was just ridiculous. Edward has barely said anything to me lately, and by lately I mean in the last week. The last bit of emotion he showed was when I took those pictures with the camera Renee gave me, and that was…right…after…my…birthday. I snarled the word in my head.

Is her seriously not over that yet? Something must be done.

That day when I got home, and I say I because seriously, Edward didn't even count as a person anymore. After going into the house,I told Charlie that I would be going for a walk with Edward and proceeded to almost stomp out of my house and into the forest. I knew he was behind me. My patience didn't last long, however. I turned around and he was right there. I looked into his eyes.

Nothing.

That really pissed me off.

"What's your problem, Edward? You've been as quiet as my shadow lately, and it's really starting to piss me off!" I could hear my voice rising in anger, annoyance, and mostly hurt.

(please note that some of the following are actual quotes from New Moon that I do NOT own)

"Bella, we're leaving." he looked up to gauge my reaction.

Well! That wasn't the explanation I was expecting.

"By we, you mean…"

"My family and myself."

My mouth made a wide o. All I could say was, "Why? Is this about my birthday? Edward, I've been through much worse, and it doesn't matter that your brother was the one who almost killed me. I forgive him. I never even blamed him for it."

He surprised me by getting angry. "You see that, Bella? That's the kind of attitude that isn't safe for you! You have to look out for yourself!"

I was still in shock. My eyes narrowed. "What's the real reason you're leaving me?"

"Bella…" he just looked at me. It seemed like he was thinking of a lie, until he said, "Bella, I'm not really interested in you anymore. I need a woman that really understands me, and you're just a child."

"I'm seventeen. I'm almost an adult," I protested before he interrupted me.

"Yes, and I am nearly one hundred and ten years old." there was no hint of any kind of lie in his voice or eyes anymore. My wall went up.

"Well, then. I guess you'd better catch up to your family. Just one question."

"Yes?" he seemed slightly surprised.

"Why leave Forks? If you wanted to break up with me, you could have without making your entire family leave. Most importantly, why did you take Alice from me?" the words were lifeless, and I could feel that my face was a cold as stone.

"I may not love you like a girlfriend anymore, but I still care for you safety. Jasper almost killed you, therefore he couldn't be around you, and so neither could Alice. If they were gone, then there was no reason for the rest of us to stay. It would have been…inconvenient."

I stood there with my mouth agape, trying to make sense of what he was saying. Was he really that cold hearted? Well I could be cold too.

"Alright then." My voice was way calmer than I was. He looked like he was going to say something else, but decided better of it.

"Of course, I'll always love you…"

"Save it. Just leave."

I looked into his eyes with all the hatred and resentment I could muster, and all I saw in his were hurt. Well, I didn't care. He was the one leaving me, and I didn't have any more reasons to be nice.

He turned away, and whispered, "Bye, Bella." and disappeared.

I stood there, not knowing what to do then. The first thing that came to mind was, 'Well, I guess I'm single again.' I turned around and walked back into my house, went upstairs to my room, locked the door, and cried myself to sleep.

*End of Chapter 1*

Well, that seemed like a good place to end. Questions? Comments? Thoughts?