Lists (Remus' POV)
I do NOT own own anything but the plot, do i look like J.K. Rowling? Apologies for the wait between Listts and this. You don't neccesarily need to have read lists before this though.
Bold Italic Underlined words are scored out.
Enjoy :)
I remember buying Sirius that little red notebook for Christmas; I had bought it because he always seemed to be writing lists, I think it calmed him or something. Maybe it helped him think? Actually I'll forget that, Sirius thinking is a scary thought… So I bought him the notebook for his lists and helped him set a password for it. It was MoonyWormtailPadfootAndProngs to show the writing and MischiefManaged to hide. I don't think he really care that I knew them and I wouldn't read his lists anyway. Before the notebook he wrote them on scraps of parchment and always lost them. Usually James ended up finding them and mocked Sirius for being as sentimental as writing lists, claiming it was weird. Obviously, this annoyed Sirius so he hated people reading his lists.
One day in the common room Sirius was writing in the notebook, as expected and I was curious about what he was writing so peeked over his shoulder.
"Seven things Sirius Black wants most in the world"
Wow this would be an interesting list; I thought and couldn't help but continue reading.
"1. A motorbike" how obvious was he?
"2. A way to get said motorbike to fly" very predictable
"3. To be completely different from my family" I already knew that and he technically was, but I didn't comment.
"4. To pull the best prank EVER and be forever remembered for it." Typical Sirius, I thought. James was the same.
"5. My friends to be happy (cough cough James and Lily especially cough)" I laughed silently at this one, it was sweet how he hoped James and Lily got together, I wondered if they would ever read that.
"6. No evil in the world" Wow I didn't expect him to be as selfless as that, but maybe I was underestimating him…
There was his untidy scrawl of the number 7 and his quill hovered above it as if deciding what to write, I wondered what it was that took so much consideration. Suddenly, as though he had just realised I was there he jumped and turned around, stopping whatever he was thinking. A drop of ink fell to the page and I quickly vanished the spot for him. He thanked me and I decided I should stop being so nosy/curious and turned and crossed the room, hearing him sigh as I went. I turned back to see him absentmindedly scrawl the 7th item on the list then glance down and gasp in shock as if he hadn't realised he wrote it. I really wondered what it was. James was standing behind him and reading over his shoulder. He smirked then coughed, causing Sirius to jump again, wow he was jumpy today, I wondered what he had written that caused this reaction; I really wanted to know but wouldn't pry. I decided to try to find out in the same way James had and slowly crossed back across the common room. I saw James raise an eyebrow at Sirius and saw Sirius panic and beg him not to tell "him" about it, while vanishing the writing again. DAMN! There went my way to find out…
"Don't say what to who?" I asked unable to contain my curiosity. He jumped nervously before giving James a warning look. That was confusing. I wondered what could be so bad.
James sighed and replied "nothing. If you want to know, just ask Padfoot" he smirked.
Sirius scowled at him. I gave him a questioning look but he shook his head and clutched the notebook to his chest. I tried to hide the fact I found his steadily reddening face endearing. Instead I raised an eyebrow suspiciously and walked away.
Sirius seemed relieved but still turned to James angrily. "YOU" He growled. "Why did you say that? He's going to think it's something about him since I didn't tell him"
"But it IS something about him" James hissed.
"So it IS about me?" I asked, unsure whether I should be grateful or not for my wolfish hearing for allowing me to hear that. "I take it you forgot about my excellent hearing." I smirked.
Sirius groaned and shot daggers at James. "ONE WORD" He growled threateningly. James shrugged and quickly left the room. I wondered why he was making such a big fuss about it. I bet he was going to change the code word now. I tried to figure out what it was about. His list was about what he wanted most in the world, how could that connect to me?
Unless… No. That wasn't possible, he couldn't want me, it was probably a different list and it was something like he stole my chocolate. I knew he'd done that anyway, I just liked him too much to be annoyed about it.
I think Sirius was worried I'd work out what it was because he was acting rather odd. I decided to leave him be and go to the library.
Later on I was back in the common room when Sirius stalked in, glared at James, apparently dumped the notebook in our room and came back down, flopping into an armchair by the fire. I wasn't really paying attention to him, I needed to read this, hence why Lily and I were sitting away from the others, reading. I heard the hissing of James' whisper but didn't notice. Then I heard a groan and:
"You are just sick Jamsie, SICK "My head shot up, curious and worried about what James had said.
"What's sick?" Lily and I asked in unison.
"Nothing" He said quickly. He looked rather guilty.
"I'm just making a joke at the expense of his love life" laughed James.
Lily gave Sirius a sympathetic look; she understood what James could be like.
"Love life?" I snorted in disbelief "You don't mean sex life?" Sirius didn't love, he just shagged with random girls in broom cupboards.
"Either way works I'm just referring to the recent lack-of and his desires" said James indifferently. "OW!" he yelled. I think Sirius kicked him under the table. I chuckled, before continuing, confused:
"LOVE though? If you said sex yes I could believe, but love?"
At that point Sirius felt the need to share some song lyrics and sang, rather sexily if I do say so myself:
"I'll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too
I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love"
I immediately recognized it.
Lily smiled at him sympathetically
And I commented, "The Beatles?"
James was looking at Sirius like I had two heads or had started spouting poetry. It was rather amusing. "What about beetles?" he asked.
"It's song lyrics. Doesn't matter though" Lily said.
"So who…" I started, hoping I got an answer.
"Yes do tell us all who?" Interrupted James, he was smirking cockily apparently he knew and it was bad enough for Sirius to be so against sharing it. Almost on cue, Sirius glared at him and stalked from the room.
"James you're really unfair to him" Lily chastised. I laughed before turning on James.
"Who is it?"
He stared at me, "I wish I could tell you mate, I really do, but it's not my secret to tell, I just enjoy winding him up about it." I cursed James for being so loyal, if we were in Slytherin he would have told me in a heartbeat.
The next weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend and everyone seemed to have a date, except Sirius. Lily had agreed to go with James, FINALLY! Peter was going with Mary and I was going with Jessica, a girl from Ravenclaw. I didn't really want to go with her, I'd much rather go with Sirius but was worried what people might think and worried about rejection. At least she looked slightly like Sirius, shoulder-length dark brown wavy hair a slim figure. Sadly she lacked one of Sirius' best features (in my opinion) his grey eyes that twinkled so attractively when he laughed. Sirius seemed rather annoyed he didn't have a date and was unsure what to do as we entered Hogsmeade. Jessica and I wandered round the shops, stopping at Honeydukes to stock up on my chocolate stash. As we shopped, occasionally I thought I heard footsteps or the swish of James' cloak over the chatter of other students. Once I thought I saw Sirius' trainer appear when we were walking down the road, and in Honeydukes he managed to walk into someone. Not to mention I could hear his breathing and smell him, the wet-dog smell as I often described it to annoy him. I wondered why he was following us. I was unsure how to take this and whether or not it should make me uncomfortable. I was debating confronting him. Eventually we went into the Three Broomsticks and Jessica went up to get drinks. I took a deep breath, deciding I would confront him.
"Padfoot?" I asked. "Why have you been following me around all day?"
He remained silent, obviously hoping I'd think I imagined it.
"I know you have" I continued, "It's pretty obvious if there's a wet dog smell following me around all day." I teased.
I heard a faint growl and laughed at him.
"So why have you been following me?"
"I was lonely…" He whined, "Everyone's on dates except me" I felt bad for him, being ditched by the rest of us and wanted to keep him company, if only it could be a date between us.
I sighed "Look go wait in Zonkos, I'll meet you there in ten minutes."
I felt bad for Jessica, I downed my Butterbeer, gave her money for both of our drinks and tried to gently explain I had realised I wasn't into her in this way.
"You totally like Sirius Black" she teased. "I can tell"
I blushed and stammered. "It's ok" she replied. "I understand and won't tell anyone. Go get him" She winked. I was relieved she understood and my secret was safe. I left and almost ran to Zonko's.
"Why didn't you just ask out whoever you like? It's not like they're gonna say no, you're Sirius Black!" I asked him, slightly jealous of that person, slightly curious, still hoping to find out who it was. I hoped it was a guy, at least then I'd have a slight chance. I doubted it though, he'd had more girlfriends that the rest of our year put together and tripled.
He laughed almost ironically, confusing me slightly. He shook his head, "already got a date" He mumbled.
"Well make sure you ask them first next time!" I teased, trying to hide what I actually felt for him. He sighed.
We wandered around Hogsmeade before heading back to the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer. Oh how I wished this was a date. As we walked back to the castle, it took all I had, to remember it wasn't a date and stop myself from reaching out to hold his hand. I was sure I saw his hand twitch towards mines as if he wanted to hold mines. I laughed at myself silently, 'don't be ridiculous,' I thought, 'why would he ever like YOU.'
Later that day
"Remy? How do you tell if you're in love?"
"Why?" I asked. This was not normal Sirius behavior.
"Just curious" he mumbled, looking flushed and embarrassed.
As I told him, (everything I felt about him) he jotted them down in a list. I waited patiently as he re-read it and frowned, apparently checking them off in his head. He hid the top of the page as he apparently changed the title. To what though, I didn't know. He re-read the list a third time before declaring:
"Yep I get every one of those things" I tried to hide my jealousy and gave him a look of surprise and curiosity. I really was surprised he thought he was in love and curious to know who, even if I was RIDICULOUSLY jealous of them.
"Really?" he nodded and sighed. "Do I get to know who?" I asked. He shook his head frantically, his face turning an endearing shade of red and fled the room. I sighed.
That afternoon I returned to the room to find it locked. I banged the door and tried various unlocking charms. Soon Peter also arrived. We were getting rather frustrated and called some other seventh years to trying to open the door. Then Sirius arrived and laughed declaring "Coming through, coming through, amazing-at-revenge, magical-door-unlocker coming through" I stared at him with confusion as he flicked his wand three times, removing the spells and opened the door.
I gawked at the sight of James, hanging by his ankle, his face kinda red since he'd been upside down so long. "See what I meant by amazing-at-revenge?" Sirius laughed while lazily flicking his wand and letting James crash to the floor.
"Bastard…" muttered James
"What was that about?" I asked.
Sirius glared at James "I wouldn't stop reading his lists over his shoulder without him realising and laughing at what he was writing and making him jump about six foot in the air" James explained, laughing.
"Would this have anything to do with him asking me how to tell if you're in love?" I asked, desperately trying to piece together everything and make some sense out of it.
"Yeah, something like that…." James mumbled. "Don't curse me I didn't say anything" he said, turning to Sirius, putting his hands in the air.
"How does he know?" I demanded.
"The same reason he was left hanging by his ankle for three hours" Sirius growled.
"Ok calm I wasn't going to ask him" I soothed, I didn't want Sirius mad at me, 1. Because he'd do to me what he did to James and 2. That wasn't going to help my crush on him at all.
"I wasn't going to say anything" protested James
Sirius glared once more and stalked out the room. James sighed. "God he's so touchy these days". I heard a growl from Sirius and laughed.
Later that day I was wandering around the castle looking for Sirius and realised he might be in the room of requirement. I headed up to the seventh floor, pushing open the door. I walked in, just in time to hear Sirius moan.
Inside the room there was a comfy chair by a fireplace and a large mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. Around the frame of the mirror it said 'Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.' What was that supposed to mean?
"Siri?" I asked. He jumped and tore his eyes from the mirror. "Are you ok?"
He nodded. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to find you; I wanted to make sure you were ok. James wants to apologise but was worried you might curse him so he told me to tell you instead, but I'm surprised you've not cursed me for sneaking up on you like that. What are you doing?" I explained.
"I was looking for a place to think so I came here and found this mirror."
"So why were you moaning at the mirror? Do you really turn yourself on that much?" I joked.
He went red, why did he do that? Didn't he realise I found it absolutely irresistible when he did that? I'd give away my secret. "The mirror shows your heart's desire" He explained.
"Oh so you were seeing whoever you may or may not be in love with?" I asked, trying to conceal my jealousy. He nodded. "I assume you're not gonna tell me who?" He shook his head. "I wonder what I see"
"Go look then" He suggested. I walked up to the mirror and looked in.
I saw myself sitting with Sirius' head leaning against my shoulder, caught in a warm, close embrace. He loved me; I could see it in his eyes. The scene changed. We were taking our clothes off and kissing passionately. I could almost feel his gentle touch, caressing me as he was in the mirror... I gasped, my face probably turned pale and I blushed slightly.
I noticed Sirius surreptitiously trying to move behind me to see. I hoped he did not see what I did. That would be difficult to explain. He looked rather confused, hopefully that didn't mean what I thought it did.
"Can you see what I see?" I asked.
"No" He replied, not sounding entirely sure. What did that mean? "We should get James and Peter up here too" He suggested. I nodded.
He pulled his fragment of the enchanted mirror out of his pocket and looked into it. I saw darkness. It was obviously in James' pocket. "James" He called. "James" Suddenly the mirror came out into the light and I saw James' face.
"What?"
"Come up to the Room of Requirement, you need to see this" He said. "And bring Peter"
James nodded and shoved the mirror back in his pocket.
After five minutes they arrived in the room. "What?" asked James. Sirius pointed to the mirror and explained what it showed. James immediately ran to the mirror and looked in. His face spread in a grin. I could guess what he saw, Lily. Sirius seemed to be trying to see over James' shoulder and instead looked even more confused. He turned and fled the room. James and I exchanged a look of confusion, though I seemed slightly more confused than James. I sighed, I hated not knowing.
At lunch I Sirius was acting rather odd, he wolfed down his food and left without a word. James and Peter didn't even seem confused. I sighed and continued. I entered the room as I needed to collect my books for classes. I got up to leave, books in tow when Sirius' notebook caught my eye. I REALLY wanted to read it to find out what was going on but that wasn't fair on Sirius and was an invasion of his privacy. I debated in my head before eventually giving a wary look over my shoulder at the door and edged towards the notebook. I picked it up and read from the start. The first few pages were uninteresting but then I hit the list where it all began.
I saw the seventh item of the list. The one that caused the reaction from James that was missing when I read it and seemed to have caused such a surprise to Sirius.
It said "7. Remus Lupin"
I almost gasped out loud. That couldn't be true. He must have seen in the mirror and was winding me up. I fought back the tears and continued to read.
"Seven Reasons why Sirius Black likes Remus Lupin
1. His hair
2. His eyes
3. His smile
4. His sense of humour
5. He's intelligent and witty
6. He makes me laugh
7. He's the most kind and loving person I know."
I didn't know what to make of that. I still didn't believe he could like me and refused to believe so, it must be a prank.
"Seven reasons Sirius Black can't like/go out with Remus Lupin
1. He's a guy" And? I thought
"2. He's my best friend
3. He doesn't like guys (as far as I know)" Well he got that one wrong…
"4. I would get killed by my parents if I was gay/going out with a half-blood werewolf (not that I care if they care, I just don't wanna die.)"
Ouch! That hurt that he cared about his parents thoughts about me being a werewolf, even if he claimed it was because he didn't want to die. These lists were getting more believable…
"5. AND/OR I would be the laughing stock of the school if I was gay (again not that I care it'd just make life more difficult and him less likely to go out with me)"
I couldn't believe he cared about other peoples' opinions. And NOTHING would make me unlikely to want to go out with him anyway.
"6. Peter's a homophobe and would freak out at us being in his dorm/anywhere near him/each other" I almost laughed out loud at that.
"7. I'm not good enough for him" I couldn't believe he thought he wasn't good enough for me. It was exactly the opposite of that!
"Twenty-Seven ways to tell if you're in love by Sirius Black
Twenty Seven ways Sirius Black can tell he's in love with Remus Lupin
1. You I really care about them him
2. You I can't stop thinking about them him
3. You I don't notice other people around you me when you're I'm with them him
4. You I love spending time with them him
5. You I would do anything for them him
6. You I love everything about them him
7. You I can see a future with them him in it
8. You I find yourself myself looking at them him without realising
9. Your my heart speeds up when you I see them him
10. You I get butterflies when you I talk to them him
11. You I could talk to them him all day
12. You I love everything about them him
13. Especially their his 'flaws' (not that he has any)
14. They He makes you me feel good about yourself myself
15. You I getVERYjealous if they're he's with other people
16. They He can make you me blush or smile or laugh in seconds
17. You I want to know everything about them him
18. You I understand them him more than anyone else and vice versa
19. When you we touch, you I get a tingly feeling
20. You I constantly talk about them him
21. Your My heart skips a beat when you I hear their your name
22. You I look around for them him when they're he's not there
23. You I wish time spent with them him would never end
24. You I want to spend all your my time with them him
25. It doesn't feel right when you're I'm not talking to them him
26. You I couldn't think of loving anyone else
27. You're I'm thinking about them him right now"
That was the list I gave him that I felt about him. I didn't understand why he would have written this before he decided to do this prank. It couldn't be true though. Could It?
"Reasons Sirius Black loves Remus Lupin
1. It'd take too long to explain
1. All the reasons on the list of reasons why I like him
2. All the reasons on the list of ways I know I'm in love
1. He's Remus Lupin!
Seven options of what I can do.
1. Tell him
2. Get someone else to tell him
3. Write him a letter
4. Leave my notebook 'accidently' open with the writing showing in the dorm room for him to find and hope he reads it
5. Stay in the room under the invisibility cloak and watch his reaction to number 4
6. Try to ignore it
7. Try think of more options"
"No" I said, shaking his head I couldn't believe it was true. "It can't be, he obviously DID see what I saw in the mirror and is doing this to wind me up. But it does seem rather believable."
Wait a minute, I thought. If I was reading this, he was doing option 4 or 5 from the last list. Which meant he was possibly here. "Siri?" I asked.
He pulled off the cloak and smiled at me. "Every list in there is real"
"Really?" I asked in disbelief.
He nodded.
"Did you see what I saw in the mirror?"
He nodded and explained "When I looked over your shoulder I saw the same thing I had seen when I looked in. When I looked over James' shoulder I just saw our reflection. I think if you have the same desire as someone, the mirror shows you."
"You saw it too?" I asked.
He nodded.
"That was what you were moaning at?"
He blushed and nodded. Oh so cute and irresistible he was…
I smiled and pulled him into a hug.
He hugged back for a second before he pushed me away. I frowned at him, confused and hurt. I opened my mouth to question why he had stopped. Before I got the chance to speak though, his mouth was on mines, kissing me passionately, his tongue exploring my mouth. Once I got over the surprise I kissed back, our tongues battling for dominance. I won. He nibbled my bottom lip and I moaned in pleasure. Eventually we broke apart, our breath heavy. "I've been waiting so long for that" He gasped.
He grabbed my hand and dragged me across the room. "We'd better find James; he'll be dying to know what happened." He said. He reached for the door handle and turned it, getting a surprise when the door flew open and James fell into the room. He'd been listening at the door. We sighed and rolled our eyes, typical James.
Pulling himself upright he flung his arms around both of us. "Congrats!" he almost yelled. "You're perfect for each other." We smiled at each other. He removed is hand from mines for a second to get James off from around our necks, before pulling on my hand and dragging me down to the common room. Almost the whole of Gryffindor house was there. The few people that were looking in our direction nudged their friends and pointed to our entwined hands.
Apparently deciding to do this "properly", Sirius jumped onto the nearest table, knocking the third years' books flying. He then turned and pulled me up to join him. I was silently cursing him.
"Attention people! I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Remus Lupin!" people cheered and clapped.
I put my arms around his waist and pulled him into a possessive hug from behind. I cleared my throat and said "Yes and sorry ladies but keep your hands off him!" He smiled at me and looked up over his shoulder. Our lips met and we kissed. I heard some cheering and wolf whistling. We continued kissing until James grabbed me and pulled us both off the table, causing us to all fall in a pile on the floor.
"What was that for?" Sirius growled.
"You were making the first years nauseous" Sirius glared at him. He laughed.
"I'm sorry Mr. Head Boy SIR" Sirius said sarcastically.
James hit him over the head with one of the books that he had knocked onto the floor next to him.
"Oww!"
"Oh by the way did I tell you me and Lily got together?" Our eyes widened in surprise. "Oi! Stop looking so shocked!" he laughed.
Lily crossed the room and pulled James up, kissing him briefly as she did. "Maybe we could go on a double date sometime?" she suggested. Sirius nodded and dis-entangled himself from me. Just as he stood up I grabbed him around the waist and pulled him back onto my lap. "Where do you think you're going?" I growled, before kissing him again.
