Disclaimer: I disclaim this to the point that if I were to claim this, my claim would be disclaimed. (Meaning, of course, I do not own this. In no way, shape, or form. I don't even own the words used in it. The dictionary does).
"Sarah," a rich, velvety voice drawled. Goddamnit! What the hell did I do to deserve this? Why can't he leave me alone? His voice has been haunting me for the past two months in a row, ever since I returned from that damned labyrinth. I hardly get any sleep at night. I've tried ignoring it, hoping that it will eventually go away. It has not. It keeps me up in to the wee hours of the night with it's wicked taunting and annoying remarks. I groan and bury my face into my pillow, willing myself to stop being such an idiot.
"Sarah, do not think that you can evade me." There it is again. That goddamn annoying drawl. Why can't I make him shut up? I've tried everything...even yoga. Which did not turn out well. Stupid jerk, making me do yoga and sprain my knee.
"Shut up!" I groaned in frustration. Great, not only do I hear voices, but I respond to them. Lovely.
"I don't feel the need to 'shut up' as you so eloquently put it," his voice sneered. "I'll talk all night, as usual." I could hear the smirk that came along with that last bit. Oh, I just wish I could punch him in the face. Or that other place that would hurt just as much, if not worse.
"Why won't you leave me alone?" I asked. I've given up hope; I'm without a doubt, forever more, a complete nut.
"I would leave you alone," he stated matter of factually. "But there's no fun in that." Oh, why does my mind torture me so? I can rarely put together two sentences of coherent speech. Where did I learn to put words together to form a conversation? 'How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll in the center of a tootsie pop?' The world may never know.
I suddenly sat upright. I may be a nut, but I'm a complete genius. Like Einstein, or whoever it was that invented light bulbs. See? I am a complete retard. I have come up with a solution. iPod! My music will drown out his insistent babble. I'm sure of it. Now....where did I put that dang thing?
"Looking for your music player, Sarah?" His voice was too innocent...sinisterly so. Almost as if...
"Where is it!" I yelled. Then I remember...I live in a house where the walls are paper thin. And my parents room is next door. This is one of those times were I am sorely tempted to slap my palm against my forehead and say 'Could have had a V8.' Well, I could have, except for the fact I hate tomatoes. I'm straying off into the land of food again. I am an airhead. I should tie myself to a pole or something so my large, empty head won't carry me away in the wind like a balloon.
I hold my breath, waiting for any sound from the room next door. None. I sigh in relief; I was lucky this time. Then I remember the reason for my outburst. "Jareth." I hissed into the darkness.
"How would I know where you put you're things, Miss Williams? I am just a figment of your imagination." His voice was mocking. He thoroughly enjoyed making me suffer. Sadist.
"Grrr...." I flopped onto my bed. I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. It would be another endless night of watching the clock as it mocks me and Jareth laughing evilly, claiming he isn't the cause of it. Even I'm not dense enough to believe that one. Maybe...
"You know, Sarah. I can read your mind?" Yeah, yeah whatever...wait. What?
"I. Can. Read. Your. Mind." He enuciated slowly, as if I was a child. I seriously wanted to rip him apart.
"You're not even real. Like you said, you're just a figment of my imagination." Well, he is part of my mind, so of course he could read it. My stupidity amazes me sometimes.
"You think so? How do you know that I'm not sitting in my throne room, watching you in a crystal? By the way, your attire is quite appealing..." Was that my paranoid side kicking in? Probably. My mind attempting to scare me. Funny, way to go brain, almost got me. I laughed out loud. Elle oh Elle. And what the crap? Why would I even say the word 'attire'? I don't even know what it means. But if he adds appealing to the end, I'm debating whether or not I should thank him or kick him in the face. If at all possible....
"Because I'm not an idiot." Well...I am...but he doesn't need to know that.
"Well, for your information, Sarah. I am sitting in my throne room, gazing at your barely concealed body. You should at least wear something underneath that night gown...I can see right through it. Yes, I can see your-" I cut him off with a squeal.
"I wish I could bash your face in, you disgusting slimeball!" I shouted. Concealed...concealed...I have no idea what that word means. But I know what he was saying...and it was not appropriate in the least. Pervert.
Whoa...it's snowing. In my room! Cool! I shall make a snowman...wait. Wait just one minute...it does NOT snow inside...and it isn't even snow. It's glitter. Glitter! Yay! I shall...become a fairy? Forget it...wait...where have I seen glitter before...first grade art project...well, that too, but I feel a massive sense of Deja Vu coming on.
Oh crap. I know exactly where I have seen glitter before. When Jareth...made his grande entrance. Most notable, distinguishable people have really awesome entrances, like Kool-aid man. He busts down a wall! Jareth? He just kind of just stands there as glitter falls all around him. I'm sensing gayness....
"Hello Sarah." Okay, that voice was live. And unbelievably sexier than usual. And I did not just think that. I whipped my head around. And my heart stops.
There. He. Is...but how? Did I wish for....
FLASHBACK
"I wish I could bash your face in, you disgusting slime ball!"
END FLASHBACK
Oh. This time, I actually did slap my forehead with the palm of my hand, my mind screaming V8!!!!!
Well, isn't this just dandy? I have to deal with him in the flesh. And still listen to his voice.
"And, just so you know. I have been plaguing your mind. You're not insane." Yes, I am. I wished you here, didn't I? But then again...I'm not a complete nut. My mind hasn't been betraying me. I'm sorry brain! I'll never accuse you again! Oh ye of little faith.
He looked at me expectantly. What, did he expect me to make tea, bust out the coffee cakes? So we could have a lovely little chat and catch up on things? Well, we do chat...every Fricking night. And it is not lovely.
"Well Sarah, I do believe you called me here so you could punch me." Oh yeah, that's right! I shall muster my strength and punch his nose into his skull. Where it shall remain forever. And he can look like a cross between Lord Voldemort and Michael Jackson.
I pull my arm back, ready to swing. I punch! Lands squarely between his eys. He doesn't. Even. Flinch. What the heck?!
What he does do, however, worries me. He bursts out laughing. What a freak. I tap my foot, cross my arms, and roll my eyes, waiting for him to sober up. It wasn't that funny.
Finally, as quickly as it had come, his smile disspears. He looks dead serious now.
"Now that you have gotten what you want, I shall ask you for something in return." I look at my nails.
"Well...you can't have Toby. Sorry." I actually love Toby. When he's not screaming out his little lungs, or demanding food, or wanting to be held, or filling up his diapers, or pulling my hair. I love him...mostly when he's sleeping. Which is now. It is non-negotiable. I'm keeping Toby.
"That's not what I mean..." He grinned wickedly and for a moment I actually was scared. "I want a kiss." Okay, now I'm definitely scared. Terrified? Yes, I think I am terrified.
"W-why?" I stammer.
"Why not?" He arches his pale blonde eyebrown at me inquiringly. What does that even mean...inquire...
"Well...I...you..and," I have no arguments ready. I'm doomed...wait! Perhaps not! It's not too late to give up Toby...wait...I shouldn't even be joking about that. There's still the possibility he wasn't lying when he said he could read my mind.
He approaches me. Then he grabs me. He plunges one hand into my hair, and the other grips me to him. We are like siamese twins now, no space between us. God, his eyes are gorgeous. One a caramelly brown, the other icy blue. I have become a sap. God help me. Finally, as if in slow motion, his lips begin moving towards mine. And then we're kissing. And it's wonderful. And I wonder why air is so important, because I sure as hell don't need it right now. My body has developed an allergy to oxygen in this moment, so I musn't breath. The kiss just goes on and on. I'm surprised I haven't passed out. My knees are weak however, and were it not for Jareth standing right in front of me, I would be melted all over the floor like a Hershey's chocolate bar left in the sun. More food references....hmmm.
He breaks away and I want to murder him. What the hell? I didn't say you could go anywhere. I grab him and kiss him again. I shall not allow him to escape.
I break the kiss for a second and whisper. "I wish the Goblin King would come and take me away...right now."
He looks amused for a second and then suddenly, we're in a room. A room that has an extremely large bed. And he is pulling me to that bed. And I am not resisting. Perhaps I love him. Yes, I think I do.
"I love you too, Sarah." He pulls me onto the bed with him and kisses me again. So, he can read minds...interesting. I wonder if he knows all those times when he was talking to me, I was wishing he was there with me. Even though I found him unbelievably annoying. Love finds a way.
"Of course I knew. That's why I tempted you. I wanted you to wish me to your house so I could finally get my kiss. You suck at punching, you know." Well, that figures. Annoying, bratty goblin king. Selfish and evil. Yet really good at kissing. And what does he mean, I'm bad at punching? I could break his nose...if I wanted to...and I most certainly do not. Because I couldn't kiss him if his nose was broken. He would be bleeding and crying and it would be nasty. So, I shall not punch him. At least not in the face.
"Or anywhere, if you want this night to proceed." Proceed...proceed...what does that mean...proceed.
He chuckled at me. "It means if you want this night to continue, love." Oh. Well, I most certainly do.
"Good." Then he turns out the lights and kisses me again. Suddenly, I don't want to punch him. Ever again. A little 'Do Not Disturb' sign magically appears outside the door of the room. And the fun begins.
(A/N): I have nothing to say about this. Except that it is random...and it doesn't make sense. And if you have read it and are reading this, I sincerely apologize for wasting your time. With complete nonsense. Nothing further.
~the shameful author of this story (if you can call it that) who wishes to remain anonymous.
