"NO MORE, SEBASTIAN! NO MORE!" Clary roared, raising Heosphorous above her.
"YOU KNOW, IF YOU KILL ME NOW, YOU'LL BE NO WORSE THAN ME!" Sebastian yelled back at her.
They were both bruised and battered, everywhere hurt, and they were both covered in cuts and blood. Some was their own, some wasn't.
"You forget, brother mine," Clary spat. "That I am also Valentine's child. I can be ruthless too."
Sebastian barked out a laugh, and Clary continued.
"But if I kill you, this will end. There'll be no more war. If I kill you, I'll have blood in my hands, but there won't be a second when I'll feel guilty about it."
With a screech, she thrust the sword into Sebastian, stabbing him right in the heart. He staggered back, clutching his heart.
Pain blazed through him, and he let out an inhuman cry of pain, sounding less like a human, and more like a animal. He felt the heavenly fire quickly spread around his body, and light shone out from beneath his clutch.
Falling to the ground, the sword remained within him, it's bright light almost blinding.
Wrenching it around, Sebastian withered beneath her, writhing in pain.
"Stop! Stop!" Jocelyn yelled, for the son she never had, sobs choking her words. "He's dead, Clary! He's dead! Stop, please, stop!"
Jocelyn removed herself from Luke's grasp, and ran over to where Sebastian lay.
Clary looked over at her Mother, and at Sebastian's form, as he screamed in pain. Bending down, Jocelyn cradled his blood-matted head, running her fingers through it.
"Hush darling, hush. It'll all be over soon."
With the sword still in him, the light remained, and Jocelyn had to shield her eyes from the burning white light.
Clary looked at Sebastian, his face covered in blood and dirt, and then at her mother, who was sobbing at the sight of him.
"Shush, my Jonathan, shush."
"Mom," Clary said breathlessly, almost outraged at what she was seeing. "What are doing?"
"I can't do anything for him, Clary," Jocelyn said, raising her voice above Sebastian's screams. "I can't raise him, can't save him from the fate that awaits him in hell, all I can do is hold him. All I can do is be the Mother he never had for these last few moments."
Clary couldn't watch.
The same boy who had murdered thousands and caused a lethal war was being comforted by her mother. As if he was the same son she had lost.
"Carry on my wayward son," Jocelyn sang shakily, tears streaming down her face.
"There'll be peace when you are done."
Clary's heart wrenched.
It was the same lullaby the she had fallen asleep to for years.
Jace touched Clary's shoulder lightly.
Gasping for air, she looked at him, a look of pure adrenaline and fear in her eyes. Releasing her grip from the sword that was still implanted in Sebastian's chest, she slowly walked towards Jace, and wrapped him up in a tight hug, and he embraced her as if she would disappear in a second.
Though it was hard to hear her over Sebastian's screams, Jocelyn kept singing, never wavering.
"Lay your weary head to rest,
Don't you cry no more."
And Sebastian screamed.
Oh, how he roared.
Not principally because of the pain, though he was in agony, it felt as if a white hot ride had been shoved into his chest. It felt as if one whole half of him was being separated from the other, his head pounding with pain.
No, he did not scream out of pain.
He screamed for the blood on his hands, deaths that were his fault, lives he had taken.
He screamed out of terror. Out of fear of what would happen to him in Hell. Satan would have no mercy, and neither would God.
And then the pain subsided ever so slightly. And he could see the clouds open, and a pair of hands slowly reach out to take him, all while his mother sang in his ear. Focusing his eyes on her slightly aged face, he grasped her hand. His last human touch. "Mother..." He croaked, and it made Jocelyn sob harder.
"Sorry..." He rasped, the blood in his mouth making the words taste bitter.
"I know, darling," she said.
"So...Sorry..." his voice faded.
Though in his final moments there was something...Lighter? About him. As if finally making peace with his Mother had somehow killed some of the demon in him.
Smiling weakly, he murmured "I've never felt so...Light."
There was a bright, gold light, softer than Glorious's, but bright all the same, that only Jonathan could see.
The hands werepicking him up, slowly freeing his soul from his body. His punishment was coming, his fate about to met.
He was high in the sky, now.
Coming closer to the opening in the clouds.
With a final burst of life, he managed to whisper "Oh God, forgive me."
He didn't ask for mercy.
Couldn't. Wouldn't. Didn't deserve it.
And then there was blackness.
There had been some moments of clarity.
Moments when the nephilim part of him took over from the demon. When he would look at what he was doing with fear, disgust or confusion.
When he would try, for the couple seconds he was able, to right his wrongs. But thy were rare moments, happening perhaps once or twice ever few years, and it only lasted a few seconds at most.
And then demon part of him would wake again, and with a wicked grin and a sickly sweet "Oh no, you don't," the demon would push down that human part of him, push it deep, deep down, where it wouldn't disturb him again for years to come. That's how it felt now. As if all the demon was gone from him, only memories left in its place.
"Jonathan Morgenstern," a deep voice rumbled.
Sebastian-No, Jonathan, looked around, startled by the sudden change in setting.
He now found himself in a completely white room, a staircase to his right, but other than that it was completely bare.
But he was not alone.
Two men were standing not far from him, one dressed all in white, the other in black.
Heaven and Hell.
Jonathan looked at them.
"You have committed many a sin, child of darkness."
"I-Yes," Jonathan's voice faltered. Images, memories of deaths, war and suffering flashed before his eyes.
"And you have brought many nephilim, down worlds and human alike into my Kingdom," the man in White said.
Then something clicked in Jonathan's head. He had killed those people. Had turned shadow hunter against shadow hunter.
The blood was on his hands.
He was guilty. Not anyone else.
But the thing was, Jonathan didn't remember doing that. He didn't remember thoughts running through his head as he brutally slaughtered millions of people. It was like watching someone else doing all those things, not him.
It was Sebastian, not Jonathan.
Jonathan.
Jonathan- Who had never really gotten the chance to live.
Who's life had been poisoned by the demon inside him.
Who's fate had been sealed before he was even born, who's soul was taken away from him and life destroyed by his Father.
Jonathan, who wasn't really anybody.
He dropped to his knees. Sobs racked his body as he brought his hands up to his eyes, while the screams of innocent people who were being killed rang through his ears, so loud he had to press his hands against them to try to dull the sound.
"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "It wasn't me. It washim, Sebastian, not me, Jonathan. I'm sorry. Forgive me, please," He begged
The men remained silent, watching him. Judging him.
"We know it was not really you who committed those acts, son of Morgenstern," The man in the black said finally.
"What?" Jonathan asked, confused.
"It was your demon self, another being altogether. When you were stabbed by Glorious by Clarissa Morgenstern, the heavenly fire killed the demon within you. Now, only your nephilim self remains," the man in White explained.
"But it is you who must pay the price," the man in Black said.
Jonathan looked up.
"But-but...I..."
"We all must pay the price of our actions, child of Valentine, it's time you paid yours," the man in the White said.
"But they weren't my actions!" Jonathan protested.
"Nonetheless, you are the only one who can pay the price for your demons sins."
"Just let me die," he screamed, sobs making the words come out shaky and jagged."Just let me rot in hell," he roared.
"We cannot do that," the two men said in unison.
"Why not?!" He asked, his voice gravelly from the shouting.
"Heaven cannot accept you, because your soul is not yet pure," the white man said.
"Hell cannot take you as you were soulless, your sins so atrocious even the mouth of Hell would spit you back out," the man in black rasped.
Jonathan's shoulders sagged.
"Instead, we sentence you to a greater punishment."
"You will live one Earth," the man in black continued. "But nothing may harm you. Unlike the downworlders, nothing will kill you. Shoot you, your body will simply heal. Cut off your head, it will reattach. You may never enter Heaven or Hell again, unless you prove yourself worthy."
"No... No you can't..." Jonathan's voice was shaky, and rose with each word. "Just let me die and be over with it! Please!" He yelled.
"You shall not raise your voice in the house of God!" The white man roared.
Jonathan slinked back slightly, admittedly taken aback by the white mans outburst, and mumbled "Sorry..."
"Your beauty and wealth, your weapons and followers, your powers, everything you hold dear to you, all will be taken away from you."
"W-Why?"
"Because you do not deserve them," the black man answered simply.
Swallowing, Jonathan looked down at his hands.
"Fine," he mumbled.
"You have the chance to make yourself a better man. An improved man. To be the son your Mother longed for. Your real mother," the white man said gently. Jonathan's heart wrenched when the White man mentioned his mother.
"If," the white man begun. "Within a year, you have truly changed for the better, we shall see about having you enter this Kingdom."
Jonathan didn't say anything, only remained silent.
"Swear, Malum one, that will not sin again."
"I swear it," Jonathan said reluctantly.
He felt two hands on his shoulders, and raised his voice to see the two men stand on either side.
"We'll be watching closely, son of Morgenstern."
And then there was nothing.
Hello!
First off- I know that this is not actually how it goes down in City of Heavenly Fire, but I wrote the first draft of this before I had finished it and I really liked the dialogue, so I kept it :)
Please comment what you think!
Thanks!
-Mia
Xx
