11.

It smells like sterilized metal.

I climb into Quinn's bed, though the nurses have strictly forbidden it. She closes her eyes and holds me tightly because she says when she can't see me, it is easier to pretend I never happened to her.

10.

She pushes the cart aggressively down the aisle, pretending to be in some kind of racing tournament.

Old ladies, doing their usual Sunday shopping, are looking at her like she was crazy.

"Stop!" I say giggling, lobbing a can of ravioli at her.

For a moment, I think she simply didn't see me throw the can; it glances off her shoulder bone and falls to the floor, exploding in a pattern of red arrows. I don't notice her eyes rolling back in her head or the graceful way her body collapses to the floor. The only thing I notice is the distinct thudding sound as her head hits the metal shelf and the screaming that may not be mine.

Later in the hospital, she calls me inside her room and apologizes for keeping secrets. The doctors then, launch into a medical explanation of her cancer.

Their eyes are sad.

9.

There are shadows under her eyes that I know shouldn't be there but she ducks my bow and arrow assault, folding herself into me with soft kisses and quiet words.

"I'm worried about you", I tell her. "I want to help you"

"You already have" she pauses. "I love you so goddamn much, Rach. Will you remember that?"

"What, are you planning on going somewhere?" I tease lightly.

"Yes."

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked her in the eye "Where?"

She smiled and dropped her head on my shoulder. She doesn't answer and I begin to think she has fallen asleep. But I feel my shoulder becoming wet and I pulled back to see her eyes, big, open, wet.

"Talk to me", I beg.

"There's nothing to say", she murmurs and closed her eyes.

8.

After several months of trying, I know I couldn't memorize every indescribable time we have spent together—the throaty, full laughter, the light freckles on her cheekbones, her husky singing voice that gives me the chills, her eyes that has swirls of green and specks of gold, the way she carefully pronounces the "th's" as though she is afraid that her diction would suddenly slip out of her mouth.

I gave up trying to memorize it all because I know it would always be there.

7.

Her hair has quite grown and the pink has faded into blonde.

"Your hair is getting longer", I told her, running my hands through it while she lays on my lap.

"I know"

"I like it", I leaned and kissed her gently on the lips.

She smiled against my lips and quietly said "I like you"

"I know" I smugly said.

She laughs, "Always so modest"

6.

I almost didn't realize it when she held my hand the first time. It was gentle and questioning.

"I'm not going to break", I told her, tightening my grip around her fingers.

She smiled and looks into the distance "I have a lot to learn"

"We have all the time you need", I replied and she just laughs.

5.

A week has passed and I'm continuously learning new things about her. Things like her favourite colour, her favourite food and what she wants to be in the future.

Red. Apple pie. Alive.

4.

Again, we went to the hill where we hung out, knowing that somewhere in the car ride, we have slipped into friendship without conscious realization.

3.

I don't even know why I agreed on a ride with an almost-stranger. She did open the car door ceremoniously for me and I couldn't say no.

I noticed from our surroundings that we were heading to the lake view park but she missed the turn and parked the car on top of one of the hills beside it instead.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Where we should be, I suppose"

2.

It's no coincidence that the girl from the party sits down next to me at the counter two days later and orders a coffee, "black, as always", she says flashing a smile with her perfect white teeth. She hums an almost-familiar tune and glances at me out of the corner of her eyes.

"You know what I think? I think you and I are going to have some sort of future." she waits for my reaction, but I only sigh.

"Look, I don't even know your—"

"Quinn"

I eyed her carefully "You can call me Rachel"

She grinned and held out her hand. I shook it.

1.

I began to feel buzzed on all the wine coolers I've been drinking so I sat on the couch. It's past midnight and the party was still in full swing. Leave it to Noah to throw an amazing party.

I don't know her, she glances at me and closes her eyes, smiling. Her short pink hair hiding her eyes.

She took a seat next to me. She curls herself defiantly, chin to knee. She blindly reaches for my hand. I can see her shoulder blades bursting like half-fledged angel wings.

"I don't know you", I tell her quietly as she intertwines her fingers with mine.

"I don't know me either" she says, and looks me in the eyes, curious and hopeful. "Maybe you could help?"