Disclaimer - I do not own Bleach or any of the characters portrayed in this fic -


2.23 AM Urahara's place

It was not an usual sight for the neighbors to see the young shop owner bring home an actual woman. Yes, they had seen a couple of teenagers hanging about the building during the day. Once or twice they might even have seen the shop owner's kids bring home a friend or two. But it had been years since they saw a full grown woman cross the doorstep. Especially not at two thirty in the morning. From their viewing point at a window on the opposite side of the street, the elderly inhabitants shook their heads as they watched the very drunken pair stumble towards the man's house. "Such a disgrace", they muttered as they closed the blinds and went back to sleep.

Being a disgrace was however the last thing on Urahara's mind as he carried the by now half undressed woman the last few steps towards his home.

The kids and Tessai were away on a mini-vacation and he was left all alone. He couldn't pass on the chance to finally clear his head of all the fighting that had occurred over the past few years.

Ever since he had met young Ichigo, his formerly dull life had reversed into it's present state of madness. Not that he complained much, he had liked the action once – but his laid back and carefree nature had protested the return of a shinigami life.

That side of his personality was thankful of how easy it was to get distracted from ones troubles when you had your hands on a woman's body. This was just what he had needed and just what he had planned when he earlier that evening had gone to the pub with his friend Isshin. Of course, Isshin had left the pub before he made a move on this woman, and it was just as well. His sex life was best left a secret, not that he had much of a sex life nowadays anyway. As every bit of information that got to Isshin somehow found its way to the teenagers' ears, Urahara figured he would at least pretend to be some sort of a role model for them.

"Aren't you going to unlock the door?" the woman whispered huskily in his ear. The feeling of her hot breath against his skin pulled him back to reality. She was so intoxicating that he couldn't wait to get inside an rip the remainder of her clothes off.

"Uh huh" was the most intelligible words he managed to form.

It didn't take too long to get the door open and get them inside.

The house was dark and quiet, just as he had hoped. Without taking time to turn on the lights he managed to carry her up to his bedroom. His experienced feet never missed a step, not even when the only light he had to guide his way was a small string of moonlight that was reflected in the woman's blonde hair.

She giggled eery when he accidentally tripped on her thrown away bra at the top of the staircase. "Oops," she murmured, as she continued to gently bite at the base of his neck. The pair came to a halt just then as she continued undressing him until they were both completely naked.

Then she smiled at him "I, um, we need to use protection" she said biting her lip. "Do you have…?"

"Sure, it's in the bathroom, let me go get it" he said kissing her fiercely.

The woman hesitated, eyes flickering towards the bedroom. "Or we can just risk it" she said. There was a pause when she smiled at him like he meant the world to her, or at least he thought that the smile told him that she meant something to her. "In my experience, a guy with a pet is always a keeper."

"What?" he said not really grasping what she meant, and not really caring. He needed this, so badly.

As he backed into his bedroom with the voluptuous woman in his arms he realized that she didn't mean anything to him. He didn't care that he didn't know her last name. She would never see the inside of his house again. She was tense release, nothing else.

He liked it that way, without deeper emotions getting in the way. It was easier then, much cleaner. Maria would only ever be a mere body to him.

The moment of thought had passed. Maria stumbled after him, letting her hands run wildly over his broad chest. She answered between kisses "Yeah, um, the cat outside wasn't that yours?"

He lifted her up, smashing their bodies into the open bedroom door. The motion was possibly a bit to harsh but he hadn't full control of his body anymore.

"What cat?" he murmured into her chest, kissing every inch of flesh that he could reach.

"Oh, never mind then," she said while letting her hand travel lower. She was stroking the contour of his stomach muscles. He shifted as she let her fingers travel south in a soft and slow motion. A moan slipped from his lips.

Her other hand was busy elsewhere. She had reached for the lightswitch at her left side, murmuring "Hey, actually I prefer doing it when I can see what I am doing. Do you mind?"

Before he had a chance to even begin to process what she had asked, the lights were turned on and their eyes slowly started adjusting to brightness. She the truly was a beauty, and he felt pure ecstasy in every corner of his being. This was the best thing that had happened to him in a very long time and he wanted to relive this moment for an eternity.

Oh, how fast a moment can pass.

He didn't know what came first, the high pitched squeal from the woman or the instant retraction of her limps from their places on him,

He did know that the he wasn't prepared for any of it.

Before he knew what had happened she had already begun to walk away. "You pervert," she had screamed as she stormed off. He didn't know what else to do but to follow. His feet were somehow carrying him, though he didn't know who commanded them to do so. Everything was still a blur from both the alcohol and the pleasure.

"Where are you going?" he called, hitting Earth again with a force he had not known was possible. "What's wrong?"

The woman was already at the base of the stairs. Looking up at him, searching his face for answers, while he was searching hers for whatever clues it could hold.

"Don't you dare follow me! If you take one step down the stairs…"

Urahara swallowed rapidly, taking a step backwards in a sign of submission and disbelief. He could feel the door to the bedroom press against his naked back.

The woman, now fully clothes shouted "I will not participate in some weird threesome!". And then she was gone. Slamming the door behind her.

"Threesome? What?" he shook his head in disbelief. Such a nutcase, he thought, teeth clenching together out of anger and disappointment. He had not only wanted, but needed a woman's company.

It was only then he turned to face the bed.

There was another woman in his bedroom, he realized. She was lying on top of his sheets. Waiting for him.

Where the other woman had been clumsy and giggly, this woman was serious in a carefree way. Where the other woman had been sweet, this woman was dangerous. Where the other woman had been innocent and fair, this woman was as dark and lean as an exotic cat. And when this woman smiled at him from the bed, it was like hell and heaven intertwined in a forbidden mixture of pleasure and wickedness.

"Boo" Yoruichi said, almost laughing. "Didn't think you'd actually show up here with a woman."


More Yoruhara in the next chapter, I promise.