Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.
Summary: Attempted hostage situation? An uncooperative knight? It really is just another day...
A/N: This is part of my A Light in the Darkness universe, but this oneshot can be read as a standalone.
Just Another Day
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22 Quickening 1002
"General, there is a situation on the lower eastern terrace."
I frowned as I regarded Petrov, "What kind of situation?"
The Bat ducked his head as he hung from the tree branch closest to me, "Well, I'm not sure exactly. From what we can tell one of the sailors with the Galman party is attempting to hold four of our people hostage."
"Who?"
The Bat darted a glance at Ardon and Bianor who were also listening then flapped his wings twice before he finally answered, "King Edmund, Queen Lucy, Aviva-"
"What?" Petrov flinched at the force of Bianor's shout, but then no one could expect any different from a father who just found out his filly, who wasn't even three years old yet, was one of four hostages.
Ardon grabbed Bianor's shoulder and he fell silent while I turned back to Petrov, "Who is the fourth hostage?"
"Dame Sepphora." Of course, she was because if there were any type of disaster in Cair Paravel, she would be in the vicinity and somehow involved. Petrov flapped his wings again as he continued, "But, General, at the moment, we cannot tell if the sailor has actually succeeded in taking them hostage."
I stared at Petrov in silence for a moment, "What?"
Petrov ducked his head so his wings nearly covered his face, "Well, Dame Sepphora is...proving uncooperative with the sailor's attempts to take her hostage."
I raised an eyebrow because saying Katerina Alambiel was being uncooperative with someone could mean...anything. "Come, let us see exactly what is going on. Petrov, make sure the guards in the area do not rush in before we know how Dame Sepphora is controlling the situation." Petrov nodded then he dropped from the tree branch and twisted right side up as he spread his wings about a foot above the ground. As the large Fruit Bat flew ahead, Bianor, Ardon, and I quickly made our way to the lower eastern terrace. It was fortunate that Queen Susan had once again commandeered most of the Cair's residents into helping with the preparation for the festivities dedicated to the celebration of the passing of the old year and the beginning of the new year, for it meant we were able to pick our pace up to just under a canter without raising any alarms.
Lieutenant Sefu came out of the bushes to our right as we neared the lower terrace, "General, the sailor continues to be hindered by Dame Sepphora and there are fourteen of us in position. We were waiting for Dame Sepphora to signal us, but she has yet to do so."
Why- I didn't bother to finish the thought, it was Katerina Alambiel and only Aslan knew what reason, if any, drove her actions. "Continue to maintain your positions until either Dame Sepphora or myself signals you to do otherwise." Sefu nodded and I looked over my shoulder at Ardon and Bianor as the Leopard slipped away, "For now, we will continue to allow Sepphora to control the situation. Do not move until she gives the signal." I looked Bianor directly in the eyes as I spoke, asking him to curb the father's instinct I knew was telling him that he needed to get between Aviva and danger right away. All three of us knew that Katerina Alambiel would never allow harm to befall the Royals or Aviva, and I believe that was the only reason Bianor finally nodded his assent to the request.
I carefully picked my steps, so as not to alert the sailor that he was surrounded and being watched by any Narnians other than the ones he was attempting to take hostage. They were gathered near the far left corner of the terrace, Queen Lucy and Aviva were standing in the corner apparently unharmed while King Edmund was sitting on one of the benches a little in front and to the right of them with his arms and legs bound but otherwise unharmed as well. Katerina Alambiel stood in front of them all, watching the sailor with a calm expression while her hands were behind her back, though I couldn't tell from where I was whether that was due to them being bound or if she simply chose to stand that way. It could have been either reason. The Galman sailor looked young and flustered as he swiped sweat out of his eyes and I could hear a hint of exasperation in his voice as he spoke, "Let me explain this once more. You, and the little ones, are me hostages. I be taking you four as hostages. Understand?"
Katerina Alambiel shook her head, "No."
The sailor paused and gave Katerina an incredulous look as he repeated, "No? What do you mean "no"?"
She smirked, not a good sign for him, as she answered in that tone she used when she felt she was explaining the obvious. "I don't want to be a hostage. I'm busy."
"What?"
"I'm busy. There's no room in my schedule for being taken as a hostage today." She paused then her smile grew as she cheerfully exclaimed, "Oh, but I might be able to fit you in for an hour on Thirdday three weeks from now. Of course, I'll have to check my appointment book to make sure about that, but how does Thirdday three weeks from now at, oh, about third hour in the afternoon sound?"
She didn't have an appointment book. Queen Lucy and Aviva both giggled while the sailor stuttered a response, "I- I- I- No! That won't work 'cause I be taking you as hostage today!"
He had moved a little to the right as he protested and Katerina Alambiel skillfully maneuvered herself to remain between him and the other three. "But, I just explained that I don't have time to fit in the whole hostage-taking thingamajig today. However, since I-"
My hand dropped to the pommel of my claymore when the sailor cut her off with a shout, "No! You can't reschedule 'cause I be holding you hostage right now!"
Katerina tilted her head slightly, "You are? Huh. Well, you're not very good at it. Have you ever done this before?"
He grew more flustered at her question and I knew why she had not attacked him already...the sailor had no real idea how to go about taking people hostage, which meant Katerina Alambiel had somehow been involved in the fact that King Edmund was tied up. "Of course, I done this afore! All...all the time!"
Her smile grew a little wider, "So, did you practice on furniture or your reflection?"
More giggles filled the air and I saw King Edmund smirking as the sailor stuttered, "I- I- I- No! I mean neither one of 'em!"
Katerina nodded, "Ah, it was the furniture." I heard a soft sneeze from my right and I knew one of the Big Cats was trying desperately not to laugh at the increasingly ridiculous conversation.
The sailor swiped at his brow again as he turned in a complete circle looking around but still missing the fact that he was surrounded by Narnians. He turned back to Katerina Alambiel and pointed a knife at her as he tried to put a menacing tone to his voice, but he sounded more annoyed than menacing. "Will you no behave like a...a proper hostage?"
I repressed the urge to smirk as I watched Katerina give him an incredulous look, which was normally accompanied by her hands propped on her hips though not this time. "Supposing I actually agree to be your hostage, what exactly is a proper hostage supposed to act like?"
The sailor nearly lost his grip on the knife from shock before he exclaimed, "You're a hostage! You're supposed to do what I, the hostage taker, tell you to do and be quiet and still and cry and wait for negotiations to take place until I let you go."
"Well, that's just silly. Are you sure that's an accurate description of a proper hostage? Because it sounds more like the description of a pathetic and really annoying hostage to me."
It was hard to tell with his sun-darkened skin, but I thought he turned red or maybe purple before he exploded, "No! I mean yes, it be accurate, you-" He didn't even manage to get the whole first syllable of his curse out before Katerina Alambiel shocked him into silence by lightly slapping him. So, she wasn't bound after all.
He stared at her and she shook a finger at him in a clear impersonation of Tuulea as she chided, "Watch your language. There are children present."
I eased my grip on my sword slightly as the sailor dropped his head and mumbled, "Sorry."
He nodded to Queen Lucy and Aviva who were currently watching with wide eyes, but Katerina Alambiel stopped him when he turned toward King Edmund. "Oh don't bother apologizing to the boy. He can out-curse half the army." King Edmund rolled his eyes at Katerina's back while Queen Lucy and Aviva giggled again, as it was a fairly accurate assessment...much to the chagrin of his sister, the Gentle Queen. "So, now that we have that settled, can we go about our business now?"
The sailor's head snapped up. "No!"
He reached his hand out to grab Katerina's hair in a clear attempt to regain control of the situation, control I doubted he ever had, only to drop his hand the instant she calmly ordered, "Don't touch my hair."
Aviva and Queen Lucy, who had drawn back a little at his shout, giggled and relaxed once more as they continued watching Katerina who looked on as the sailor swiped his brow then gestured wildly, but it was clear he had completely forgotten about the knife in his hand. "This be ridiculous! There be rules, lots of rules for how hostages need to be acting! There be...there be etiquette, yes, etiquette for the hostage situation! And, you, you, follow none of it! You act as if you be a...a something stubborn and follow none of rules you supposed to...and...do you act this way a lot?"
Now she was trying not to laugh. As usual, Katerina Alambiel hid all of her emotions save the one she wanted others to see, it was a surprisingly placid expression as she mulled over her answer...I was starting to believe she was intentionally trying to drive the man insane. "You know the thing about being stubborn and not following obscure rules is actually something I've been told before, surprising isn't it? Now, that thing about the etiquette for hostage situations...did you find that information in an actual book or did it come to you by word of mouth?"
The urge to laugh was nearly overwhelming and, judging by the sneezes and hastily muffled chuckles, I wasn't the only one with that problem. The sailor was truly inept at being alert to his surroundings otherwise nearly every Narnian watching would have been found out. The only ones who laughed freely were Queen Lucy and Aviva while King Edmund shook his head with a grin. The sailor stared open-mouthed at Katerina Alambiel then he sheathed his knife and threw his hands up in the air, "I can't do it! I not be cut out for hostage taking. Book or word of mouth she says! She be crazy, she be. I go back to the ship, sit in her brig, and then hope the Captain set me adrift in a dingy. Because no etiquette to be broken in a dingy. I shoulda stayed in Sarato and no go to Galma to be sailor. Shoulda stayed and be innkeeper, only deal with drunkards who follow etiquette!"
The sailor turned and walked away from the four he had for some reason been trying to take hostage still muttering about innkeepers, drunkards, ships, and etiquette. A soft growl drew my attention up to meet Sefu's amber gaze as he looked down from his perch in an elm tree. I nodded and he dropped to the ground then trotted after the sailor with three other soldiers. They would make sure that he returned to his ship to await the Galman captain.
I walked into the terrace with Ardon and Bianor right behind me just as Katerina Alambiel looked over her shoulder at the other three and asked, "Do you think it was something I said?"
I shook my head as Ardon chuckled before he glanced at Bianor, "What are you going to tell Dia?"
Bianor sighed then muttered, "Nothing until she gets back from visiting her parents with Rainor. And, even then, it's very possible she might kill me because she can't get to the sailor." I did not envy him the task.
Katerina was still looking over her shoulder when we approached, but I could see the slightest shift in her stance so she was truly relaxed. Aviva immediately trotted over to her father, who placed one hand on top of her fiery-red hair as he quietly checked her for any sign of harm while she happily chattered at him. King Edmund sighed then spoke in a monotone, "Would someone please untie me?" Bianor with Aviva at his side and Queen Lucy both moved to aid the Just King, who leveled a rather baleful glare at Katerina as she watched without moving from her position. "You just had to challenge the man's knot-tying abilities, Kat, didn't you?"
She laughed softly, "He's a sailor, he's supposed to know how to make those complicated knots not those limp excuses for knots that a slug could have undone. And, no, I couldn't resist...or risk you doing something foolish. Don't give me that look, I was justified in my actions, especially after you walked into the situation unaware and unarmed."
I exchanged amused looks with Ardon and Bianor, who had resorted to using a dagger to cut King Edmund free, as the Just King countered, "You did the exact same thing!"
"No, I didn't. I was not unaware and I-"
I decided to end the discussion before it became anymore involved or louder, on King Edmund's part. "Your majesties, I believe it would be best if you both returned to main areas of the Cair before the High King or Gentle Queen grow concerned over your absence. Bianor will escort you."
Katerina suddenly added her opinion as they were about to leave the terrace, "Edmund, when you speak to Peter and the Captain about the incident, tell them to go easy on the man. He committed no real harm and it seems he didn't have any purpose in trying to take us hostage other than to see if he could do it, the amateur. He was talking about being an innkeeper instead of a sailor, so that might be considered by them...besides I don't think he was all there in the head."
King Edmund looked at Queen Lucy, who nodded her agreement, before he gave Katerina a curt nod as he apparently thought better of saying anything to Katerina about the incongruous nature of her comment about the sailor's sanity. They left then with Aviva and Queen Lucy in the lead while Bianor and King Edmund brought up the rear.
As soon as they were out of sight and hearing, Katerina Alambiel sighed and brought her hands around in front of her allowing Ardon and I to see the intricately etched blade of her dagger before she slid it back into the deceptively plain sheath. It was one I had given her. She slid the sheath into her belt at the small of her back, then she smirked at us. "I was neither unaware nor unarmed when I walked into the middle of things today."
She wouldn't be, considering exactly how much trouble she managed to find when she walked into the middle of things, which I supposed was a good thing. Still, I couldn't resist teasing her, "Oh, so a slight improvement over what happened the last time you walked into the middle of things."
She smiled and I could see the laugher in her eyes. "Very funny, Kentauri, you know I would never have allowed him to bring them any harm. Moreover, what happened last time was not my fault. How was I supposed to know that a gaggle of Harpies would be right there at the time?"
I shook my head with a chuckle while Ardon laughed as he walked just behind us as I began to list the number of ways she could have prevented the last incident. Walking with her back toward the barracks where I was going to make her write a report for that afternoon's event no matter how much she griped about it, I enjoyed the humor of the situation even as I also began planning how future attempts at taking hostages in Cair Paravel would fail before they began. I had known Katerina Alambiel for over a year and a half now, and ultimately that afternoon was just another day, especially when sharing Cair Paravel with someone who found as much mischief and trouble as Katerina Alambiel did.
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A/N: Please Read and Review! So, something fairly funny if not quite fluffy. Hopefully, y'all enjoyed it. I'm still working on a very stubborn kink in the next chapter of Revealed but I hope to have it up soon. Leave a review below and let me know what you thought about this one and if you have any requests include them in the review or send me a PM with your ideas/requests.
