I don't get paid for writing this

And I don't owe the characters.

And sorry for the bad English, it's only my third language.


Dear Diary of the never ending evil,

I have the slight feeling, that nobody likes me. The whole wizard world is that right? wants to see me dead. They hate me so much, that they gave this whole Kill-Dark-Lord-Voldie-Shorts-Mission to a little, slender, underfed, shiftless, little – oh, we had this one already - ..um.. yeah, well, he wants to kill me.

He's called… Harold… Hagan… Henry… Hans… yeah, something like this. Hans Otter is his name and he hates me, and only god knows why he dislikes me.

I didn't do anything to him! I…I… I did a favour for him! If he has no parents, then there is nobody to forbid going to partys and… I never had pareeents!!

Oh…yeah…well

And then I gave him this stylish scar!! I mean – THAT's hot!! It's unique!!

Everybody will recognize him: "Man, look! It's Harvey Slotter!". He should be honored. – But noooo, he wants to kill me instead! Unthankful little brat!

When I was young, things were different. There were no such things like the "Hogwarts-Express", we had to WALK to Hogwarts! There was no Quidditch or mobile phones or computers or books or ghosts and all this new stuff! We weren't allowed to sleep in dorms, we had to sleep in the forest! And then…

And my servants! Useless! Those… Death…Sneakers… what was their name again?! Anyway, who cares. They all seem to be scared of me! Me! Impossible! Probably, I'm the most sympathic person of the universe! At least, they change my diapers.

Indeed, Dear Diary, I became incontinent…

Okay, back to the topic: my servants.

This one girl with the long blond hair is the worst of all! I think she was called Luciana Alnoy. She's so ingratiating, it's disgusting!

"Dark Lord…" here … "My wonderful Master…" there… oh god…

But I am plotting something evil against Hilton Sotter! Sadly, I cannot tell you now, because I have to attend a visit by the doctor, because I am getting a hair growing treatment.

After that I am going to play chess with the headmaster of Hogwarts, Arnus Dunderborn.

And after that I have to study again. Since some time I am always forgetting people's names, so I wrote them down. Pretty bright, huh?

Bye Bye

Yours,

Tommy.


Please let me know if you liked this story or not