Stella
"Why? Stella, you can't just kiss me and then reject me. If you don't love me then fine but if you do, just tell me why you keep refusing to talk? You owe me that much" Frank said.
Oh, Frank. This was entirely my fault. His depression was my fault. I still loved him of course I did but I wanted to protect him. I was Chief Agent now and am an even bigger target than before. We were both at the top of KORPS' hit list and I knew they would harm him just to get to me. They did it before and they would do it again. Breaking up with him was the only way to protect him. I couldn't bear to see him hurt because of me and now I'd managed to do it myself without the help of KORPS. My life was chaos and I didn't want to bring Frank into it. KORPS wanted to kill me for betraying them and my elevated job position was precarious because of my past. One wrong move and I could get kicked out of MI9. Stark never let me forget it. I didn't want Frank to risk his job by associating too close to me personally. MI9 was his life.
"To protect you. I have a big target on my back, Frank and I didn't want to bring you into it. I've failed. I've just brought you even more harm" I said.
God, I'd just caused him more heartache. It broke my heart seeing his face and hearing his voice after I rejected him but I'd convinced myself it was for the best. I'd concentrated on protecting him from physical danger and completely ignored his psychological well-being.
"Stell, we're MI9. There will always be people out to hurt us. It shouldn't stop us living our lives. Not being with you hurts more than any torture ever could" he said.
Tears dripped across my face. I had been wrong. Why did Frank still love me? No matter what I did I still managed to irreparably hurt him.
"Frank, I love you but I keep hurting you. Maybe it is best that I keep my distance" I said.
As much as I loved him, I was not good with people. There was a reason I was a fighter when I defected to MI9. I grew up in a solitary lifestyle. The only people I saw as a child were my parents and other adult KORPS operatives. My childhood was much like Zoe and Keri's. I didn't know how to socialise with other people. Frank was the first person that treated me as a person and not a weapon. Alexis tried but he was bound by the same rules as I was. I fell in love with Frank and it broke my heart when he told me he was an undercover MI9 operative. He persuaded me to defect. It was hard. KORPS was all I ever knew. It meant cutting myself off from my family. He promised me a better life. One where I wouldn't be tortured for failing a mission. One where I would be able to go outside when I wished and enjoy the outside world. One where people would actually care about me. It was a momentous change but ultimately it was for the best. MI9 were still suspicious about me because of my past and Stark certainly wanted to get me imprisoned but it was a life with freedom and a life with Frank.
"I love you, Stella Knight and nothing will change that. You keep pushing me away and that just hurts us both" he said.
The worst thing was that he was right. I had been angry for him for three years and then just spent the last seven miserable. I blamed him and MI9 for the final raid on KORPS. If I hadn't defected then they wouldn't have placed the missile. It was a set-up. KORPS knew exactly how MI9 worked. They just didn't count on me being delegated to coms. They knew that our team would lead the mission and that Frank or I would order the blast doors shut. The death of nearly an entire MI9 division, most of KORPS' worst enemies and possibly their traitor. The Crime Minister and the Mastermind nearly dying was just a ploy so we would put our guard down while KORPS could plot anew.
"Frank, I... Fine. We don't tell anyone we're back together. I have enough targets on my back already. I do not need another one from MI9 for violating the relationship protocol" I said.
I couldn't deny it anymore. I'd let my guard down and kissed him on at least two occasions. Frank's team were not so subtly pushing us together but they didn't understand the dangers. I would be fired and possibly even imprisoned if MI9 found out. They would claim I was too dangerous to be set loose into society alone. I knew too many of KORPS' and MI9's secrets.
"I don't need to. Stel, we're together. That's all that matters. See you tomorrow" he said and kissed me on the cheek.
Back to the good old days where we fought KORPS, fooled MI9 and pursued our romance in secret. I would see a lot less of him as Chief Agent rather than his fellow team member but the moments we did share would be even more precious. I could afford to be a bit more carefree when briefing and debriefing his team but our nights. They would be what we would treasure the most.
