I wrote this listening to Paperback writer. Only kidding! I obviously wrote this listening to the masterpice that is A Day in the Life.
A/N: Each section is compltley unrelated.
I read the news today, oh boy.
About a lucky man who made the grade.
Phineas Flynn picked up a newspaper and skimmed through it. As he flicked through, a certain headline caught his attention. He turned to page three.
And though the news was rather sad,
Well I just had to laugh,
I saw the photograph.
Some person had died. When he looked at the first picture, well, he knew how horrible he was being, but he laughed. Some people had the most ridiculous expressions he had ever seen on their faces. How was he not supposed to laugh?
He blew his mind out in a car,
He didn't notice that the lights had changed.
Phineas winced when he saw the second picture. It showed a mangled up car, with blood still on the seat. It said the man had driven through a red light without noticing. It was amazing how ignorant people could be.
A crowd of people stood and stared,
They'd seen his face before.
He looked back at the picture of the crowd with funny expressions. As he looked closely, he could see people he recognized in the crowd. What were Isabella and Ferb doing in the crowd? And why was Isabella crying? He then looked to see who had been killed. It read:
Phineas Flynn, twenty, was killed yesterday in a tragic car accident.
Oh that can't be good, he thought as the walls of the kitchen fell away to reveal dancing colours and flying platypuses.
I saw a film today, oh boy.
The English army had just won the war.
A then year old Ferb sat in the cinema, his eyes glued to the screen. A war movie was playing. The English army were winning.
A crowd of people turned away,
But I just had to look.
People turned away as some of the more gory scenes came on, but Ferb didn't. Unlike a lot of people, he didn't mind the sight of blood.
Having read the book.
He had read many books about the Second World War, but seeing it up on the screen was different. The pictures he had painted in his head were much less bloody. The English always made it through every battle unscathed in his mind. This movie showed him something else
I'd love to turn you on….
Lawrence had fallen asleep beside him. As Ferb listened to his mumblings, he heard what sounded like 'I'd love to turn you on'.
What in the world was his father dreaming about?
Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a comb across my head.
Isabella fell out of bed with a thump. She got up off the floor and looked in the mirror. Seeing the mess her hair was in, she picked up a comb and dragged a comb through her hair to make it look somewhat decent.
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up, I noticed I was late.
She stumbled downstairs, half asleep. Her mom wasn't up yet, so she had the kitchen to herself. She made herself a cup of coffee to wake herself up. When she looked at the clock, she saw she was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat,
Made the bus in seconds flat.
Isabella grabbed her coat and bag. She slipped her coat on and pulled her hat out of her pocket before running out the door. She ran as fast as she could. Fortunately, she got to the bus stop just in time to catch the bus to school.
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream.
She made her way upstairs to the science labs. She shivered. It was always freezing in there. As she breathed out, she thought to herself how it looked as though she was smoking. As the teacher began to speak, she found herself daydreaming about Phineas.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
She woke up suddenly as she heard a faint yell. Everyone was looking around. Eventually the teacher told them to quiet down. After a while everyone did, but they all had the same question on their mind:
Who yelled, and why did they yell?
I read the news today, oh boy.
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire.
Doofenshmirtz picked up the newspaper and began to read. They were talking about four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire. That gave him an idea. Maybe he should build a hole-inator! Not a whole inator, but a hole-inator!
And though the holes were rather small,
They had to count them all.
He continued reading. Ugh, he would have hated to have been the person who had to count the holes. Imagine having to count four thousand holes! And they weren't even particularly big holes. That gave him another idea; a counting-inator! Wait, that would be beneficial to man-kind.
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
How did they know it was enough holes to fill that hole? thought Doofenshmirtz as he read that particular piece of information. Who, honestly, was bothered to work that out?
I'd love to turn you on…..
For those of you who have heard the song, you may have noticed I left a line out in the first verse. But, honestly, how was I supposed to put Phineas in the House of Lords?
