Hey guys, I'm back with a new story. This story will have slash in it, so if you don't like, don't read it. And don't complain to me if you do, this is a warning. Anyway, I got bored, and wrote this, so review, mmkay? ;) This will be continued at my own pace most likely. Just so you know, reviewing will make me update faster. -hinthint-
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Warnings- Slash, Swearing. That's all that's bad in this chapter.
Disclaimer- THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I'M POSTING A DISCLAIMER. It stand for the whole entire story. I don't own Naruto, or any of its characters.
Pairings- SasuNaru is in this chapter. Most likely more couplings later. There will be KakaIru later. I don't know what others yet. ;)
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"So, what brings you to my office today?" The black haired therapist asked, pen poised over a notebook, eyeing the two men in front of her. She couldn't help but admit that she was an incredibly lucky therapist – these boys could make even the coldest person melt.
They looked like complete opposites. The man sitting on the left had shocking blonde hair that stuck up in a messy array of spikes and sparkling blue eyes that continuously reminded her of the ocean, no matter how cliché it seemed. A Hidden Leaf Village headband was tied around his forehead, keeping his long bangs away from his eyes. His skin was so tan it was almost like dirt, and he had two scars slashed across his cheeks. Even through the Jounin outfit he wore, the therapist could tell he was muscular, as expected, though a tad shorter than the other male sitting next to him.
This one too wore the Jounin uniform and was radiating pure anger. He didn't look pleased to be here – actually, she doubted that he would look pleased to be anywhere at the moment. The therapist twitched as the pure obsidian eyes landing on her, and almost dropped her pen, fumbling to grab it in the air. Obviously, the blond was not the only person this guy was angry at. The angry male wore his headband around his forehead as well, keeping raven bangs from slashing into his vision. He was scowling quite viciously, and once again directed his glare to the person sitting next to him. The therapist was surprised when he didn't burst into flames. He had pale skin, skin that reminded her of snow and was perfectly unblemished, something to be unheard of when affronted with a Jounin. Her eyebrow twitched upward in question.
"This bastard- this goddamn dick here is wearing me out all day long! I am so tired." The Jounin on the right said, pointing an accusing finger at the other, who just frowned even more, and turned his head to the window. The female's eyebrow lifted even higher, one because of the complete lack of acknowledgement by the ghost-like boy and also because the blond really needed to learn about his inside voice.
"How so?" She said, though the blonde haired male didn't need further prodding, because he continued right over her calm tone.
"I mean sure, I knew that I was getting myself into a mess when we first got together, but I didn't know it would be this BIG! Not that I'm complimenting him, 'cause he isn't giant," a murderous glare echoed through the room, "er… but that's not what I was talking about. Anyway, I thought I had endless energy, but seriously! He just keeps on going and going! I'm so fucking tired and exhausted all the time, and does he care? No! He just wants to pound me into the fucking wall, WELL GUESS WHAT UCHIHA, THERE ARE NO WALLS HERE!" A scoff sounded at the blondes yelling, and the therapist noted the fisted hand that the male was shaking in Sasuke's face. She glanced around the room and decided that it was not the time to point on the four walls surrounding them. "An', I fell asleep during our last undercover mission, and almost got my head ripped off! RIPPED OFF BY A GIANT SQUID THING, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT SASUKE?" The blonde waved his hands wildly. Sasuke was unresponsive, except for the lightest tilt of his lips. Apparently, he was proud of this statement. "I've tried to avoid him, didn't work. I've tried to ignore him, that really didn't work, that just made him even rougher. I've locked myself in my apartment. Didn't work. HELL, I've even tied him up, and chained him up. SOMEHOW, he got out of it."
A pale white hand waved in dismissal and Sasuke opened his mouth to speak. "You were the one who fucked that up, dobe. You definitely molested me; don't even try to blame your horniness on me." He said, dark eyes glinting in amusement as Naruto's jaw dropped.
"Well… er, I mean, even you couldn't resist that!" He explained, pointing at the therapist with an accusatory finger, as if she had voiced her thoughts. She glanced at Sasuke and decided that no, she wouldn't be able to resist that. "I've tried denying him, you know what happens? He gets distracted! Like I didn't say a THING! I mean, does it look like it's easy to get distract from me? ALL HE DOES IS LIE! And when I mention this to him, he just get's even angrier. IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!" By this time, the blonde was pulling at the ends of his hair, and pacing around the small office.
The therapist looked a little shocked, and turned her gaze to the one on the left, who seemed to be quite pleased with himself. "Uh, do you have anything to apply to this?" She questioned, momentarily forgetting to write down his answer, which would probably be momentous. He didn't seem to be the type to go on a tirade, though you never know. The blond seethed in the corner, his cornflower gaze whirling to Sasuke.
Cold eyes turned to regard her, and for a moment, she regretted asking the question. It was the glare, she was convinced that that glare would gladly rip her to shreds. Or it could be his reputation – either one. Pink lips curled up in a smirk, and the words that flowed from his lips only seemed to anger the other further.
"It's not my fault that Uchiha's have an unsatiable libido and that Naruto can't handle it," was exactly what he said. He coolly turned his gaze back to the window; completely ignoring the spluttering and swinging of arms coming from the blonde. The therapist felt her ears go red and turned her gaze to her notepad, furiously scribbling anything to distract her mind.
After at least fifteen more minutes of complaining coming from Naruto, the therapist interrupted. His voice had reduced her hearing to a loud ringing.
"Okay… you two seem to be having a problem. You're both very stubborn, therefore neither of you will relinquish the hold on 'being right'. Therefore, I suggest a competition or a bet. Whatever you want to call it." She said, happy to have both of their attention, black and blue eyes snapping to her. She'd heard about the rivalry problem in between the two – hell it had been obvious this entire time. So, she found a solution. "Whoever can go the longest without any sexual interaction wins. By sexual interaction, I mean if either of you… er… touch yourself down there, or if someone else does, then you lose. Therefore, you can make out, touch eachother, whatever you want. But once you get below the front of the belt, you're done. Oh, and if Naruto wins, then Sasuke you will respect his wishes of giving him some time to rest. If Sasuke wins, then Naruto I'm sorry about this, but Sasuke gets whatever he wishes. Understood?" She said, watching as Naruto Uzumaki immediately nodded, agreeing to her terms. Sasuke looked contemplative, not entirely seeing how he would benefit from sex free days.
"What, bastard, are you afraid that I'm gonna whoop your ass?" Naruto taunted, and Sasuke glared.
"Only when I'm tied up, Naruto," he smirked into a spluttering face. The therapist coughed, clearing her throat to break up the inevitable fight.
"I will place a jutsu on you both, so if either one of you do anything sexual with each other or someone else, I will know who wins. Got it?" She said, pen scribbling on the pad on her lap. Two more affirmative nods. "Good. You may go." She said.
With two claps of noise, both of the Jounins disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
The therapist couldn't help but wonder if she just fucked up the lives of all Konoha residents. Hopefully they would be able to contain their sexual frustration to avoid blowing up the village.
