Title: Lost

Author: Kaylee's Teddy

Rating: PG-13, for character death, f/f relationships and general angst

Summery: A short drabble from Tory's POV. Set about two years after the end of the movie.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost and Delirious


I killed my first girlfriend. It's the secret that Tory never tells, to anyone. But she thinks it. She thinks it all the time. When she's walking to class, or sitting in the library, or at her mother's ridiculous brunches but most of all she thinks it when Sal makes love to her.

Sal with her piercing blue eyes and tanned shoulders. Sal the future music producer/public relations/business administrator depending on what major she finally picks. Sal who had sauntered over to Tory after soccer tryouts their first year of college thrown her one of her dazzling California girl smiles, smoothed a strand of her short blond hair and had owned Tory's heart ever since.

She's told her...most of it anyway. She's tried to be honest, told her about the little blue pills she takes and the twice a week therapy sessions. Told her about the year of high school she had to repeat. "It's ok," Sal whispers pulling Tory into her, "I can wait."

Tory's therapist has told her that it isn't her fault and Tory has agreed. She's listened to the woman sooth her with kind words...her own choice...a senseless tragedy... But ultimately Tory doesn't believe her. Paulie said that she'd love her forever. And that's something Tory will have to live with.