this is a JACOB & BELLA FANFIC, keep in mind they WILL end up together, so don't lose hope along the way.
This is set in NEW MOON, around the time where Bella jumped off the cliff, however in MY story she hasn't, the only thing that has happened is the bike scene and then this will be continued from that point on, with A LOT of things changed
PLEASE READ & REVIEW!
Passing the girls bathroom I stopped, sighing to myself as I took those three steps back and made my way into the bathroom, placing my bag besides the sink I stood there, watching myself through the mirror, the person looking back at me, I could hardly remember anymore…I had if even possible lost more color to myself, I was paler, I had darker circles under my eyes, tired eyes…as a result of months of not sleeping properly, getting two hours a night, some nights even none. I had made myself physically sick, ended up in hospital after passing out, I couldn't eat – and if I did nothing would stay down; I had dropped a dress size, I was literally a walking zombie. Sighing I looked up I hadn't even realized Angela, Jessica and Lauren standing there, Jessica seemed torn, she wasn't sure whether to scold me with her eyes as Lauren was doing, or wrap her arm around me and try to make an effort to make me smile like Angela was,
"Heard from Edward then?" Lauren asked, whilst reapplying her mascara, Edward his name shot through me like an arrow, burning me, wounding me again, letting me bleed without the intention of ever stopping, "you know Lauren you can be a real bitch" Angela spat out, something you never saw – Angela swear, Angela was probably the sweetest, most caring girl I'd ever met, she didn't have a single bad bone in her body – and this side of Angela was rare – if never visible, unless provoked.
"fuck you Weber" Lauren huffed rolling her eyes before adjusting her shirt, "I was merely asking, don't need to get your damn knickers in a fucking twist" she smirked, and Angela simply laughed any traces of humou not visible,
"please, I'm not the one with the reputation concerning knickers," she replied, my eyes looked up to Jessica who just remained silent her eyes fixed on the ground as if it was the first time she saw it, Angela held my hand pulling me with her, "maybe you should work on beginning to wear some, you're beginning to get known as very loose" Angela spoke winking before she pulled me out the bathroom and onto the now packed corridors, "stupid cow doesn't know when to shut up" Angela huffed before turning her attention to me as we stopped by my locker, "you're alright right? I didn't mean to go off on one, I just, I know what it does when…" she took a deep breath, obviously deliberating what to say, and what not to say, "when…certain things are mentioned, and you don't deserve it Bells, you're a strong, amazing girl" Angela apologized, and I just shook my head watching her, "n-no" I stuttered, my heart was pounding against my chest, I honestly felt like it would just give in and stop working, "thanks," I replied, forcing a smile which Angela knew just as well as I did that it was fake, I wasn't one to pull of lying well.
"You're doing better though right?" she asked whilst linking her arm in mine and I nodded slowly, wondering if it was true, "I mean you're beginning to put weight back on, and I think you look healthier, you don't seem as pale," I couldn't help but wonder if it was true, personally I couldn't see a difference so I didn't know. "I mean, you've seemed happier now that Jacob's been around…" she spoke whilst we neared the parking lot, and with the mention of Jacob, I smiled, but this was a genuine smile, and Angela noticed it, "speak of the devil" she giggled nudging my arm, and as I brought my head up from the ground I noticed a familiar bike, and leaning against the bike was my sun, my Jacob, I mean he wasn't mine or anything, but in a way he was, I had a strange feeling that this was all planned, no wonder Angela had picked me up this morning, offering me a ride to school. Watching her she smiled kissing me on my cheek before taking off, "see ya Bells have fun!" she giggled before she lost herself in her own world with Ben.
Turning my attention back to Jacob I could see the smile on his face, it was my smile there I went again – claiming him, as if he was a possession. I also noticed the crowd of girls around his bike, giggling, talking, Lauren and Jessica were there too, not that I as surprised, I wonder if anyone knew he was he for me, Ben, Mike and Angela were the only ones who had met him previously, Mike at the movies, and Angela and Ben when they had came around mine for a study session; and Jacob had dropped by to leave some things for Charlie which Billy had given.
Shaking my head I looked up and I saw Jacob walk towards me, he had on a dark gray shirt, and jeans, which were smeared, and covered with oil and grease from what I could see. "Bells" he called out and I waved before I felt him pick me up off the floor – heat rushing to my cheeks as I couldn't help but smile and feel somewhat fixed around him, "Jacob put me down" I sighed and he did the opposite taking me up over his shoulder hanging off it as he held my by my knees, "JACOB BLACK" I couldn't help but scream as I felt so uncomfortable and scared, I knew he wouldn't drop me but apart of me couldn't take that risk of hurting, whether it was physically, or emotionally. "fine fine" he laughed pulling me back down and dropping me onto my feet, his hands resting on either side of my waist, I knew his intentions, I knew he loved me, loved me more than he should have – because I couldn't give him what he wanted, I couldn't give him my heart in return, I was selfish, I loved him, but no where near to the love I had for…I stopped myself before his name entered my mind, I pulled away shyly coughing as he sighed defeated, "you know…these guys are jealous, I can hear them all wishing they were standing here, specially that Mike guy" Jacob whispered glaring in his direction causing Mike to look away instantly. "Yeah, well all those girls probably wish the same thing, to be in your arms" I answered him back, fighting a smirk which won and the corner of my lips tugged up into a smile. "Eh, I told you before Bells and I'll tell you again, and I'll keep telling you until you see it, and believe it" Jacob began pulling me back to him, I couldn't shake the fact that everyone was watching us, we were in the center of the parking lot and he sighed lifting my head up to look him dead in the eyes, "I love you, and I only ever see you Bella, - no one else, not a single girls face, I close my eyes and you're there, you're everywhere, you're everything" his voice was so soft, so sincere, he was fragile like I was at this point, I looked up and I could see the burning, the desire, the love he held just for me, opening my mouth, I took a deep breath, my cheeks were bright crimson I was sure of it, "Jacob" I didn't know what else to say, I gulped fidgeting with my zipper on my jacket, he sighed looking down at me, "I'm not expecting anything, I don't expect you to tell me you love me now Bella, I don't want to force you, but just, just tell me there's a chance, one day you could feel the same way I do about you," I could hear the desperation in his voice, and who was I to break him like I'd been broken, as far as I knew I loved Jacob, but I wasn't in love with him, but that wasn't enough, so lifting my eyes they met his gaze again, and I only nodded, unable to bring myself to speak, and with that I could see, how reassured he was, how his eyes lit up with the faintest bit of hope that someday, there could be an us.
