AN: I was inspired by a discussion about contraceptives in the 23 century on the spock_uhura livejournal about whether or not the guys had decent contraceptive methods. So I decided to write a little drabble on it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or Bones' hypospray. I also do not own a few of the lines of dialogue used at the bottom, I just borrowed them. I only have my ideas.
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"Do I have to?" Jim whined, eyeing the contraceptive hypospray in Bones' hand with a deep seated hatred.
"Well, considering you have sex with practically any female you see, you know besides Uhura who our dear Spocky old boy got to first, I'd say it's a pretty big necessity." Bones said with a smirk on his face thinking about how thoroughly he enjoyed the fact that someone had turned his buddy down. While he supported his buddy getting some tail, he was also of the opinion that Jim could use a couple hits to his enormous and every growing ego every once and a while.
"Please! I swear I won't have sex with anyone . . ." Jim said grasping for an escape from the monthly mandatory contraceptive shot for all sexually active, unmarried crew members.
Bones gave him his no-nonsense look. "Jim we both know that's bull-shit. Now stop whining and let me give you your damn shot so we can both get on with our lives. Besides we don't want another situation like the one we had on Roseon 3."
"How was I to know she was the chief's daughter?" Jim said smiling at the thought of all the "fun" he had with said Chief's beautiful daughter.
"Oh I don't know. How about when she was introduced to you by the chief when we first got there? And don't forget the fact that she was introduced as an inspiring priestess who was forsaking men and marriage for her position." Bones said while slowly walking closer so he could give Jim the shot. All the while Jim was walking backwards, away from Bones.
"Yeah well I was just giving her a last hurrah before she said goodbye to men and sex."
"Well you're lucky you had already had your monthly contraceptive shot or else you would have had to be married off to her and expected to be her sex slave for the first 10 years of your marriage."
"Well I would have gotten sex . . ."
"Yeah but with only one woman and if you cheated on her it would have been punishable by death."
"Yeah, that would have sucked."
"You bet your ass. Now dammit, Jim! Stand still!" Bones said stabbing Jim with the hypospray in the neck.
"ACK! Stop that!" Jim yelped in pain. "I wish I didn't know you."
"Don't be such an infant." Bones growled while putting the equipment away. "Now get back to work!"
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AN2: Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, if you have any critiques or advice that would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading!
