Author's Note: Rewatching Gossip Girl and the Season 4 Chuck/Blair angst was seriously getting to me. I apologize for the shitty writing. It's 4:00 AM but I couldn't sleep. Anyways. This is a slightly AU version of the C/B conversation at the train station and there is more of the Serena/Eva conversation that we never saw. I don't really like this one, but I'll post it anyway. And I do borrow GG quotes from other episodes.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl
"Is the pedal to the metal? Because I swear if I shove my feet through the ground I could run faster!" Blair snapped at the taxi driver, not caring if he could understand or not. "B, calm down," Serena said softly. "Vite!" Blair screeched. As soon as she could see the train station looming ahead, Blair threw open the door and ran. Even though she was Blair Waldorf and she didn't run for anyone. Except Chuck Bass, it seemed. Blair tried to convince herself that she was not still in love with him. But it was useless. Chuck Bass had a permanent hold on her heart. As soon as she glimpsed him, in a t shirt, she almost laughed to herself. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to get married to golden boy, Nate Archibald. Nate was never supposed to cheat with Serena. She was never supposed to lose her virginity to Chuck in that tainted limo. Seeing Chuck again had proved one thing to Blair-that she was still in love with him. Blair cursed herself for choosing to love Chuck Bass, the notorious womanizer. His direct antonym was 'monogamy'. Blair was tempted to run up, and kiss him and say that all was forgiven. But too much had happened, Blair had lied that night. Love didn't make everything simple. Their relationship was complicated. All-consuming. Powerful. Anything but simple.
Serena angrily stomped out of the taxi. She almost didn't notice the pale blonde from the apartment. "Oh!" Serena said faintly purposely trying not to look into her pale eyes. If Chuck was going for the anti-Blair, he most definitely succeeded. "I knew it was too good to be true. Who is she?" the blonde asked. The blonde's voice was so soft, she seemed so kind. Too kind for Chuck's liking, anyway, but apparently she was perfect for Henry Prince. Serena was torn-she could either lie to the blonde about Blair or tell her the cold, hard truth. The blonde definitely didn't deserve the shit Blair was surely going to give her. "She's…the love of his past life," Serena said softly, unaware of what she was saying, exactly.
"Blair," he said walking towards her. "Chuck," she said taking the same distant approach. They stood in silence for a few minutes until Blair finally got the courage. "You should've told me you got shot," Blair said softly, waiting for the impasse on Chuck's face to change. "Would you really have cared?" Chuck asked staring into her eyes. Blair nodded, tears welling up into her eyes. "I'm not soulless," Blair said bluntly, trying desperately to lighten up the conversation. When Blair was upset, she let things happen. Point in case, that night at Victrola. Although Blair still loved Chuck, she wasn't letting him off easy. If he even wanted her back.
"Past life?" the blonde said with a confused look. "The man you know as Henry Prince was Chuck Bass…before the shooting," Serena said watching the blonde's facial expressions as she processed the shocking information. "He lied to me," the blonde said distantly. Serena craned her neck anxiously to see if Blair could convince Chuck not to take off to London. She saw Blair's gorgeous red dress glowing and her brown curls were radiant. In a nutshell, Serena hoped her sister and Chuck would get their happy ending, she could convince Chuck to go back to New York, she hoped Nate and Dan weren't too angry at her, she had no idea who to choose, and on top of that, she felt a tad bit sorry for the blonde. She was naïve and didn't understand the bond Chuck and Blair had, even when they weren't together. "I am not leaving for London. It was a silly, flighty mistake, to give my heart to a complete stranger. Even if he seemed perfect. When I told him I loved him, he didn't respond. Tell him that I will always love him, but I am just…not for Chuck Bass," the blonde said disappearing in the crowd. "Wait!" Serena yelled. Shit. The goal wasn't to get rid of the blonde! Now Chuck surely wouldn't forgive Blair and return to New York. But the blonde was gone. Serena had really screwed up this time.
"I know. You were able to love and I wasn't," Chuck said never taking his eyes off Blair. "Please come back to New York," Blair grabbed his arm in a moment of desperation. She couldn't lose him. "Why? What is there for me in New York?" Chuck snarled bitterly. Blair's face blanched and a tear finally slipped down. "You have Lily, Eric, Serena, Nate," Blair mentally added and me. "You have Bass Industries. The Empire. You'll lose everything if you don't return to New York!" Blair begged. "I destroyed the only thing I ever wanted. The only thing I ever loved," Chuck's voice shook. Blair mentally pinched herself. She had to be strong, she had to be a Waldorf. She couldn't be the weakling like Gossip Girl had said she was at graduation, where she gave everything to Chuck Bass. "I-I don't love you anymore," Blair stuttered slightly handing the ring over. "But it takes more than even the great Chuck Bass to destroy the Queen B," Blair said pasting a fake smile on. Now it was Chuck's turn to blanch. The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable. "Your world would be easier if I didn't come back," Chuck said gripping the velvet Harry Winston box-like his life depended on it. "That's true," Blair said. Chuck nearly broke down in front of Blair. She almost caught a tear welling up in Chuck's eyes. She had never seen the Great Chuck Bass teary eyed before. "But it wouldn't be my world without you in it," Blair said. Chuck nodded, never taking his eyes off of her and limped the other way.
Blair trudged her way into her hotel room. She nearly went into shock, Chuck Bass was sitting on her bed. He looked broken. Blair wrapped her arms around him and he kissed her shoulder. No words were spoken, but it was clear what it all meant. She wanted to hold onto the moment forever.
