Author's Note:
First, and most importantly, this is NOT a songfic. There are no lyrics to any song within this story. It is merely a story based on a different story and BASED on the idea of a song. Nothing more. That said, originally I had felt the lyrics would be necessary to this fic, but it is not allowed, so they are absent from the story. I apologize if this makes the fic seem a bit choppy and awkward. I think it still stands alone pretty well, but just in case, at the end of the fic, I did include where you can find the song. Also, within the fic, I noted which verses each section was based on.
This was originally Chapter 32 of Out of Time. It's really something of a continuation, but I felt, as did another reviewer, that it wasn't quite right for the end of the actual fic. It will hopefully stand alone better. If it is too weak, feel free to tell me during your review, and I will base my decision on whether or not I will keep this fic based on popular opinion. I do, however, hope you like it!
Also, the idea for this honestly came from me looking up lyrics online. I stumbled upon a song called "Out of Time" by Outwork, and was shocked at how well the song worked for my fanfic of the same name. I felt compelled to write a new-ish fic to go with them. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own, "Out of Time" by Outwork. I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. That is owned by Watsuki-sama. I do, however, own the character Ushiro, and the time-travel story, Out of Time that this ficlet is based on.
Perspectives
"I may regret my choices, but I remember my reasons." -Himura Kenshin, Out of Time
For one moment at the crossroads, their eyes locked, and he could understand himself in a way he never had before. He could suddenly see himself the way others had seen him. The way they now saw him. And even if he didn't remember everything when he woke up… it was enough to know that to some people, he was more than just a broken soul…
Verse 1
Ushiro
I am here for you. I have always been your friend, and always will be. And because of this, I can see when your smile is true, and when it is a mask you hide behind, the same way you used to hide behind that blank stare.
You aren't out of time. You have a chance to continue. To be a part of what you helped to create. You need to live now, so that every life you've taken can be redeemed with everything you experience, and every life you save.
Move on. Leave your ghosts behind you. We'll always be with you, but let us watch you from behind. Don't expect us to guide you. The dead should never control the living…
Verse 2
Battousai
I have killed. Brought death to so many. Brought destruction and pain to so many more. I have done this to serve a people who were supposed to break equality and freedom. But I stopped feeling free a long time ago. I was meant only to be a soulless weapon, used to destroy the old world.
I used to think that I hated them. Hated them all so much that I couldn't admit to myself that I hated anyone. Or felt anything. Because, if I hated the only people who I wasn't destroying, I was afraid I'd somehow destroy myself.
But there were people who cared. And there will be more. In the future, after time has passed, I have somehow gotten past the pain. I've loved again. I have forgiven them all. It is as though I've been released from a stranglehold. I can breathe again.
I am free…
Verse 3
Their eyes locked in that moment at the crossroads, and again they were one… not healed, but healing. Because their hearts were opening.
And two hearts, two minds speaking at one in a sudden startling and beautiful realization...
I don't hate you.
I don't hate myself...
Verse 4
Sano
Don't give up, buddy. I know you're out there somewhere… somewhen, I guess. And if I have to, I'll hunt for a way to bring you back until it kills me. You've done so much for all of us. You've given us reasons to live. You've changed our entire attitudes toward life and death. So, maybe it's time for one of us to knock it into your thick skull that you deserve the same perks that you fight to preserve for us.
You deserve to be free, too.
Verse 5
Hiko
Listen, baka. You are only what you believe yourself to be. Call yourself a murderer, and that's what you become. You're life is in your own hands. So is your future. It always was. Hiten Mitsurugi was never meant to be wielded by anyone but its master. Don't let them become your master. Master yourself, both sides, and you can never fail… never fall...
Verse 6
Tomoe
I love you, anata. I always will. But you must move on. Not because I tell you to, but because you decide to. Because you realize it is time to move on. I once told you that your life was yours to choose. That you could have chosen to be a farmer. That you'd have liked that. Well, now I tell you this: That decision is still yours to make. You can keep fighting, or you can give up and lie down. You can be whatever and whomever you desire. It's up to you, as long as you believe it.
Verse 7
Kenshin
My smile is all I've had for the longest time. It was the only way I know to hide the killer that is a part of me. In my own mind, Battousai was always something to be ashamed of. So, though I would never go so far as to deny the killer's existence, I have always tried to dull that blade with my smile.
My smile is how I keep myself from having to actually feel anything. My smile is my greatest defense. It makes me appear weak. It turns me into the silly Rurouni. It makes people put their guard down.
But I'm starting to see that my smile only really serves me when it's genuine.
Verse 8
Saito
They think that by coddling you, they can protect you from what you are, Battousai. You are a killer. You are meant to fight. So strike me. Forgive them for their stupidity.
Or don't. They apparently can't understand that if they make you weak, then it's all over for you. Forget them. Forget it all. Focus on me, demon. Only on me.
And I will send you back to hell.
Verse 9
Kaoru
Smile, Kenshin. Smile for me, so I know it's still you. No matter when you are from, you are always my Kenshin. I will always love you. And I will always wait for you.
Survive for me, please. Wait for me. Smile for me. So that I know… so we both know… that my fear to accept it all hasn't made us finally run...
out of time…
Author's Note 2: Thanks so much for reading (and humoring me with this). Please review! If you are interested, the actual lyrics to the song "Out of Time" by Outwork can be found at the following website:
http : / / www . shexy . nl / lyrics / 625 / outwork - out - of - time (in case you happened to be interested). I will include which verse each section refers back to. I know it's probably annoying and complicated that way, and would be much easier if I'd just included the lyrics. But I'm not allowed to, and I'm not willing to have this fiction pulled and my entire account frozen over one silly story.
Also, to those of you who left reviews for this chapter, feel free to re-review this fic. And to those of you who left reviews for all of "Out of Time" on Chapter 32 where this was originally posted, feel free to re-review the fic on Chapter 31. I'm not trying to beg for reviews, and you certainly don't have to. I just want don't want you to feel like I don't value your reviews. I value and appreciate every review I get (except, perhaps, the one that told me I suck... ^_^; ) I'm sorry for the loss of your reviews, but I just felt that this was the best decision I could make regarding this fic.
Thanks again.
Dewa mata!
Sirius
