"Why can't I drive?"
"Do I even need to bring up the van incident?"
"That was your idea!" Valkyrie protested from the passenger seat of the Bentley.
"But you went along with it…" Skulduggery replied, his hollow eyes fixed on the city road before them.
"So you'll teach me magic, and let me come on dangerous cases and adventures with you, but you won't let me drive a car?"
"Yeah, pretty much...But it's not just a car, it's the Bentley….."
"I hate you….."
"No you don't. It's impossible for anybody to hate me."
"So what about Serpine, and Vengenous, and Guild, and-"
"They don't count….." Skulduggery said back to her.
They drove for a few minutes in silence before Valkyrie decided to speak up.
"I have my permit and everything, and I can drive any licensed vehicle during daylight hours as long as the person in the passenger seat is a licensed driver."
Skulduggery said nothing, and they drove on. A thought occurred to Valkyrie, and she arched an eyebrow, looking over at her livingly-challenged partner.
"Do you even have a license?"
"Do you think someone as awesome as me needs one?"
"So then you don't actually have a license…." Valkyrie let the statement hang in the air.
"It's not that simple. Do you have any idea how much paperwork there is?" Skulduggery said with a slight sigh.
"So what would happen if you got pulled over?" Valkyrie asked him, a grin curling on the edge of her lips.
"I wouldn't get pulled over. I follow the law."
"Like that time we broke into the Dublin Municipal Art Gallery?"
"That was different. I only break the law when I absolutely have to. Otherwise I follow the law like anybody else."
"I absolutely have to learn how to drive, Skulduggery…."
"Couldn't your dad teach you? Or your mom?"
"You remember how I was late for the reading of Gordon's will?"
"Yeah?"
"That was because my dad couldn't remember to put his shoes on. You think that I should learn how to drive from that man?" Valkyrie asked, cocking her head.
"Well……..Erm, no. That probably wouldn't be a good idea. But what about your mom?"
"She's the worst backseat driver in history. And she's a yeller."
"A yeller?" Skulduggery asked, slightly miffed.
"A yeller." Valkyrie confirmed. "She goes something like this: Okay honey, you're doing great,. Now turn left here- I SAID LEFT! LEFT! LEFT TURN! Good job sweetheart. Now ease on your brake…..I SAID EASE ON YOUR BREAK!!!"
"I get the idea." Skulduggery interrupted quickly, cutting off Valkyrie before she could go on.
"STOP SIGN!"
"I said I get the idea….."
"I was being serious, Skulduggery. You just missed a stop sign."
"Did not"
"You're a very negligent driver…..Maybe it's best that I don't learn how to drive form you."
"I'm telling you, I did not run that stop sign! There was no stop sign!"
Just then, they both heard the magic sound.
Dwee-do. Dwee-do. Dwee-do. Dwee-do, Came the siren.
Valkyrie smirked as she looked in the rearview mirror and saw the police cruiser flashing it's lights behind them. Skulduggery stiffly put on his sunglasses and scarf, then tucked his wig under his hat as they pulled over.
"Don't even say it….." He sighed.
"Say what? I told you so? I would never……" Valkyrie settled back in her seat, grinning smugly from ear to ear.
"But I bet that you're wishing you had that driver's license now…."
