The once jovial stadium that harbored many lively souls was now a nothing more than burning ruins. A pile of corpses was littered across the field next to and around a gash made in a section of the bleachers. From a bird's eye view, it looked like the burning tip of a lit cigarette. Inside the stadium lay the bodies of many fatigued heroes; a magical ninja princess, a bipedal fox, a bounty hunter, a hedgehog, a prince, and bulky blue haired mercenary all lined up close to the podium that was once used for creating many fond memories launching the sandbag. The mercenary, mustering every ounce of strength and willpower to keep himself from succumbing to the throbbing pain of a broken arm. He can only helplessly watch as his comrade, a fearless and noble race car driver who has looked death in the eye many times and walked away, woefully challenge the unrelenting, undiscriminating behemoth that has spelled destruction for the world of Smash for some time now.
The race car driver, also known as The Captain, gasps for air with his hands on his thighs and his eyes on the demon that completely towered him. The creature, some sort of dragon turtle thing that has a spiked shell, released a roar that can pierce the heavens and be heard from worlds away. The Captain crunches up his body and enshrouds himself in a brilliant flame and releases a grunt. In the face of danger, all he knew how to do is drift. The creature stomps its way in the direction of the fearless and determined man. The Captain accepts this challenge and sprints towards the demon in a deadly game of chicken. However, this man was no chicken. No, this man was a Falcon. The Captain leaps into the air and gets ready to deliver a devastating knee to the creature's nose, but it recovered and swatted him away like a fly. The Captain released an ear piercing screech and flew several yards as if he were a sandbag. The mercenary gritted his teeth and released a grunt of sorrow. He did not know which feeling was more sensational: his broken arm or being unable to fight alongside his friend.
"D…damn it," he spouted out. "This… wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this… not like this…"
June 13, 2015, several hours earlier in a castle the reeked of charcoal, a tyrant turtle lizard dragon thing, better known as Bowser, was delivering the morning speech of encouragement to his minions. In a hall, minions were lined up according to species, shell color, and enhancements. There was a camera crew lined up in the air ready to record the morning's proceedings. The goombas, red shells, green shells, thwomps and chomps alike joined together in a symphony cheering their leader's name. Some say the name Bowser could be heard in even the deepest pipes of the Mushroom Kingdom, and by some I mean me and I'm the author so take my word for it. Moving on.
Atop a terrace, a menacing cartoony dragon turtle thing slowly rose from a shadowy door frame, raising his arms as if he were Christ crucified on the cross himself. "Minions," he began. The minions silenced themselves in anticipation for the morning's gospel. "Today marks the start of a new era. Today marks the start of our liberation, of our reign! For far too long, we have suffered tyranny at the hands of plumbers, princesses, Yoshis, baby plumbers, and mushroom people alike. Today, I am here to say no more! No longer will we live in fear of being stomped on or dumped into lava or having our stashes of coins stolen. No longer will the Bowser Kingdom live in the shadows of that pitiful monarchy known as the Mushroom Kingdom. Under my complete and total leadership, together, we can rule as the most POWERFUL POWER THIS PITIFUL LAND HAS EVER SEE-"
At that moment, a wind-up toy crudely resembling the tyrant leapt from the shadows and assaulted him in the back of his head. He turned around, fumed and appalled that someone would have the audacity to challenge his authority, and during his morning speech no less. Rude. But a second later, the machination shook a little and exploded, darkening his face and ruining his hair that he spent forty-five minutes combing earlier that morning. He paused for a second, then turned around to face his underlings, all of whom were either absolutely stunned or trying really hard not to laugh. "Pardon me a sec." he announced before disappearing into the door frame.
Bowser entered a waiting room that housed all of his children, who were running amok. Ludwig was standing on a soapbox and laughing maniacally as he controlled an army of exploding wind-up toys with his wand. His euphoria was cut short as a larger wind-up toy towering him slowly stomped away his army, all orchestrated by Iggy who sat atop the mech. Lemmy's playing with Wendy's lipstick. Wendy's making long distance calls. Roy is writing "Roy Rulez" on the walls in crayon. Morton is giving Larry a noogie and Larry's being useless, the most heinous crime of them all. Amongst all of the childish chaos, Bowser Jr. seemed to be the only one attempting to make peace of the situation. "Guys!" he began in his trade mark shrilly voice. "Stop acting like a bunch of idiots who don't know their mama before papa walks in and punishes us all!"
Then Ludwig interjected, with his hair simmering after being attacked by one of the toy explosives he was commanding. "Aw quit your whining junior," he replied. "You just like telling people what to do."
"No, that would be your shtick," Junior snapped back. "Mr. "I'm top shell because I'm the oldest.""
"Well, duh! It only makes sense that the younger siblings follow the older ones orders but nooooooooo. Father insisted on naming you the heir."
"Probably has something to do with the fact I'm the only one out of all of us who doesn't look adopted. Besides, how can anyone take you seriously with oh so fabuloso hair like that? Are you trying to run a kingdom or a catwalk?"
"What'd you saaaaay?!"
Wendy, the only daughter of the prestigious Bowser lineage, using the term loosely mind you, was lying about on the royal couch making long distance calls to her gal pal from the other side of the world, talking about everything your typical under aged spoiled rich brat would talk about; absolutely nothing of importance. You think I'm joking? Take a look at the conversation she's having:
"At first, I was like "Way," and then she was like "No way!" And then I was like "Yes way!" And she was like "OMG, shut up!" And then I was like "No, you shut up!"
See what I mean? Nothing of absolute importance. Anyway, panning over to Roy, the Royal Jock of the family, whom was writing "Roy Rulez" all over the walls in graffiti using all of the crayons in the crayon box. He chuckled to himself and said "I'm the best. Roy rules. I'm number one, that's me, Roy, heh heh…"
Morton was grinding his fist the top of Larry's head whilst holding him in a headlock. "Now, I'll ask you again. Who's your daddy?"
"I keep telling you, his name is Bowser!" Larry would reply.
"Wrong answer!" Morton snorted out before increasing the intensity of the noogie.
Lemmy was walking towards Iggy. Now, Lemmy had gotten into Wendy's lipstick cabinet and put on a pair of her heels as well. He waddled over to Iggy who was busy entertaining himself causing mayhem upon the toy-targets. "Who that, who that? That do that, do that?"
Iggy sighed. "Yes Lemmy, for the fifty-six time today, I get the reference."
Bowser stood there for a full thirty seconds, a new record by the way, before losing his temper and stomping his foot hard enough on the ground to shake the whole castle. In unison, the Kooplings stopped whatever it was they were doing and looked at the source of the tremor with dilated pupils.
"Uh, Carly?" Wendy said into the phone. "I'll call you back later." Then she hung up the phone.
"Alright you little menaces in training," Bowser furiously began. "What part of stay put and shut up do you not understand?! It's hard enough that I have to memorize a speech that I single handedly prepared without Kamek's help but I will have my reign undermined in front of my minions!" He stopped talking when he noticed his childrens's, sans Junior, poor attempt of holding back their chuckles. "What's so funny?"
"You-you-you…" Lemmy stuttered.
Wendy then interrupted. "You're face looks like one of those cartoon characters who just had a bomb explode in front of their face!"
"Yeah," Roy added, "Wile E. Coyote," followed by him leading the chorus of snorting and giggling.
This time Bowser put his foot down, well, again. "ENOUGH!" he shouted as fire spewed out of his mouth, startling his children. "Don't laugh at your father! Unless he's making a joke! But only if it's genuinely funny. No one likes a boot licker. In any case, I will not tolerate being made a fool of in front of my subordinates!"
"Like you need our help with that…" Larry muttered silently.
"Shut up Larry! Now," pointing to his ash struck face "Which one of you is responsible for this?"
Everybody that isn't Ludwig points at Ludwig, to which he responds with a jaw dropping gasp and a cold sweat.
"What the shell guys?!" Ludwig exclaimed. "What happened to that No Snitching Treaty we all agreed on?"
"Did you really think," Morton begins. "That we'd let some dinky old piece a' paper tell what we can and can't do? We had our finges crossed the whole time!"
"Yeah," Roy added. "We're bad guys. What'd you expect?" Followed by the other sibling nodding in agreement.
"Well, bad guys and a girl." Wendy added, which led to further nodding.
Ludwig was enraged. "You backstabbing, double crossing back stabbers!"
Bowser brings his head down to Ludwig's face so he can get a full view at how much patience he had left. Ludwig starts sweating again, fumbling in his words. "B-b-b-b-b-but it was Iggy who showed me where you kept your stash of exploding Robo-Koopas!" he explained as he pointed at Iggy.
Then Iggy gets nervous and breaks out in a cold sweat. "B-b-b-b-b-but it was Morton who threatened to give me an atomic noogie if I didn't!"
And you know where this is going so I ain't retyping everything. Cut a writer some slack. I got a family to feed and kids to raise and you expect me type every single bit of every event that happened? Y'all buggin. Anywho:
"B-b-b-b-b-but Roy double made a bet with me to see if I could do it!"
"B-b-b-b-b-but Larry dared me into doing it!"
"B-b-b-b-b-but Wendy bribed me into doing that!"
"B-b-b-b-b-but Lemmy said he'd eat my lipstick collection if I didn't!"
Lemmy looks around and waits two seconds before saying anything. Finally, he pointed to Junior and said "Junior voted for Donald Trump."
"Dude." Junior responds. "Not cool."
At this point, Bowser's absolutely seeming with rage. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he says something he might regret. "Where's Kamek? I thought I told him to baby sit your royal pains in the neck."
"He said he needed to go outside to get better reception so he could talk with his girlfriend." Larry said.
"Ha! That's a good one."
"Uh…"
"Oh my power starts, you're not joking."
At the top of his lungs Bowser shouts "KAMEK!" and almost mid-sentence, the loyal wizard turtle thing appears before him.
"Gah!" Bowser let out, startled. "Don't do that!"
"Sorry your royal scaleyness! To what do I owe this shouting to?"
"I thought I told you to keep an eye on these royal brats while I deliver the morning gospel to the koopa troops! A high morale is the backbone of a good army!"
Kamek was making the fear he had for his boss apparent. "W-w-well you see… I just went outside to get better reception so I could talk t to my girlfriend…"
"No!" Bowser interrupted. "As long as you are part of my kingdom, the only thing you're committed to is whatever the shell I tell you to do! The only thing you're allowed to have a long standing relationship is my will, ya hear?"
"Y-y-yes, you're spikeyness…" Kamek replied, with audible sorrow in his voice.
"Besides, I bet she isn't even all that hot…"
"Take a look for yourself, your fire breathing horrifyingness," Kamek retorts before conjuring a crystal ball out of thin air, displaying an image of a bodacious whatever the heck species Kamek is. Just visualize
"Uh…" Bowser began. "Wow."
"I know right? Can I pick them or what?"
Or what, Bowser thought to himself. "I'm utterly speechless," he said out loud "Don't distract me! Now listen up! For the rest of the morning sermon, all of you twerps and Kamek are grounded! Go the grounding room and don't make a peep!"
After many whines and moans, Bowser escorted his kids and Kamek into grounding room which had a pool table, a pool, a foosball table, a flat screen TV with a Wii U console, a weights, and a computer.
"Now Kamek, do your job for once and make sure these brats stay kaput and behave themselves." Bowser sternly said.
"Yes your terrofiyingness…"
"And stop calling me names! I have a very fragile ego!"
Before he could leave, Bowser felt Bowser Jr. tugging at his knee. "But daaaad," he whined. "I was trying to get everyone else to behave. Why am I being punish…"
Interrupting his son, Bowser leans over into Jr.'s face, practically scaring the color off his skin and shouts "NO BOOT LICKING!" before turning around, stomping his way out of the room and slamming the door, leaving Bowser Jr. staring blankly at the door. All of his siblings and Kamek had already found something top occupy themselves for the morning: Larry was playing against Lemmy in a game of Mario Kart 8 with Ludwig unenthusiastically watching the, Wendy was sitting on the opposite end of the couch texting, Morton was spotting Roy at the bench press, Iggy was browsing the internet, and Kamek had already teleported back outside to call his girlfriend again, this time in front of the window so he could keep an eye on the kooplings. Jr. stomped his way over to the TV, stopping next to Ludwig.
"I can't believe this!" he began, in an attempt to draw attention to himself. "Who does fire brained tortoise think he is punishing us?"
"A responsible father who was rightfully angry?" Larry responds.
"Shut up Larry. I mean, how long is going to treat us like we're annoying little kids?"
"We are annoying little kids, stupid," Wendy responded, not looking away from her cell phone.
"That's not the point! I mean, by now, haven't we shown him that we're capable heirs ready to take over the Kingdom one day?"
In unison, all of Bowser siblings said "No," without stopping whatever it was they were doing.
"What? I can't believe you all! Show some back bone dang it! He's never gonna take us seriously if we keep on taking this kind of abuse?"
Larry inquisitively responds "Whattya tryin to say, that this is some sort of test?"
"Lemmy hates test," Lemmy added. "Lemmy believes tests are an orchestrated tool implored by the man to oppress the collective minds of the youth in order to assimilate them into society and murder their creative thinking so they can become soulless sheep feeding the ever consuming construct known as the economy."
"Exactly!" Jr. enthusiastically replies. "I mean, except for everything you said about society and the economy. It's gotta be a test! He wants us to rebel so we can show him how ready we are to one day rule!"
"Juneyer," Morton replies from the dead life, looking at on brother while forgetting the concern of the other. "Give it up. Y'know, once the big man gets fumed at us, there's nothing we can do to change his mind. Getting back at him is a waste of time."
"Morton," Roy said struggling to life the barbell hooked up with five hundred pound weights on each end. "Spot… me!"
"Sorry," Morton replied and continued to aid him in lifting the ton weight.
"As much as I hate agreeing with people of inferior intellect," Ludwig began.
"'Ey." Morton said.
"Morton's got a point." Ludwig interjects, s Vengeance is a sucker's game and a waste of effort. We should have known better anyway, it's like this doesn't happen like every other day. And you should know better than to take anything Lemmy says seriously."
"Lemmy resembles that remark."
Iggy can be heard sighing from the computer desk. "It's resent, Lemmy. And yes, I'll have to agree as well. Going directly against father's orders is a fool's errand. It'd be best to stay put until this whole fiasco rolls over."
"I can't believe you spineless mongrels!" Jr. responded, taking a few seconds to process the submissive attitude his siblings have just displayed. "And you call yourselves children of Bowser?"
"Hey guy," Iggy says, completely ignoring whatever Jr. was ranting about. "I found something totally more interesting than whatever Jr.'s ranting about." See? Told ya.
All of the Kooplings stop whatever they were doing to go over to the computer desk to see what Iggy was talking about, well except for Roy who had a ton barbell dropped in his mouth. Way to go Morton.
"Somebody sent me this cryptic email titles "The Wrath of Giga Bowser.""
"Yes Iggy," Ludwig responded. "We can all read."
"Yeah? Well read this: There's no sender and it says "do not reply" as part of the subject."
"Spooky." Morton responds.
"Yeah," Larry adds. "What if it's a ghooooost?"
Wendy gets the chills. "Ugh," she moaned. "Don't talk out about ghosts. They give me goosebumps. And not in the good way eiter."
"Fools," Jr. cut in. "Everyone knows ghost don't exists."
"Yeah Larry." Morton added.
"He's got a point you know," Iggy agreed.
"Stupid Larry, trying to scare me," Wendy pitched in.
"Why are we even discussing this?" Ludwig asked.
"Lemmy judges you." Lemmy delivered the final blow.
Without further ado, Iggy proceeded to read the message attached to the message aloud, which was in all caps. "THOUGH THIS MIGHT COME IN HANDY ONE DAY. EVERY MAN HAS SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET. HOPE YOU ENJOY." And… there isn't even a sent date…"
A silence befalls all of the surrounding kooplings, except for Roy who was still gaging on the barbell resting on his mouth. Iggy clicks on the link and is taken to a Youtube video from a decade ago titled Wrath of Giga Bowser. Roy chomps the barbell into pieces and the weighs fall over to the side. He angrily walks over to his siblings and slaps Morton on the back of his head. "Dude! You were supposed to spot me! What happened?!"
"Er, whoops. Must've slipped m'mind."
"Slipped you mind?! I could have died!"
"And yet you still breath," Ludwig added sounding almost disappointed.
"And how come no one said anything? What is wrong with you people?!"
"Silence!" Jr. commanded. "It's starting…"
The sibling started at the screen in silence as a clip with menacing music played showing Bowser from Super Smash Bros. Melee standing on the Kranky Kong stage. He's assaulted by Donkey Kong who the carries him as the screen switches to Hyrule Castle. There awaits Ganondorf, Mew Two, and Dr. Mario.
"The graphics are like totes hideous." Said Wendy.
"Right?" agreed Roy.
"Shh!" repeated Jr.
Dr. Mario, who was dressed in his black outfit, started by firing pills. Mew Two then fired repeated Shadow Balls, followed by Ganondorf who was just thrashing Bowser.
"That makes no sense," cut in Iggy. "Why would Dr. Mario and Donkey Kong assist Ganondorf and Mew Two? Aren't they the bad guys?"
"Yeah," Ludwig responded. "But you know the old saying: The enemy of my enemy is my friend…"
"Oh my father, will you shut up?!" snapped Jr.
For the reminder of the video, the children watched in silence. They witnessed every bit of terror that Giga Bowser was capable of. After the clip ended, the Kooplings sat in silence, now fully aware of the chaos and destruction their father was capable of. Any fear they had for Bowser was no multiplied exceedingly. They stood there, motionless for a few moments, hardly blinking. Morton broke the silence.
"Uh, wow."
Followed by Iggy. "That certainly was…intriguing to say the least."
Then Larry. "Yeah, intriguing in a wet your shell kind of way."
Afterwards, Wendy. "Totes, that was just…ugh."
And Lemmy. "Lemmy wishes he didn't see that."
Roy too. "I'm wishing I would have choked on that barbell now."
Ludwig was just as scared as the rest of them but he would be the last one to admit to it. Sincerity was never his strong suit unless he was talking about how great he was. However, Jr. swept in and saved his hide by displaying his insecurity with bravado.
"Don't be a bunch of babies. It's just some stupid video. It's not like any of it is real or anything."
Ludwig, in all his boastfulness, was actually rather sharp and could immediately see through his brother's false courage.
"How would you know?"
"Uh duh, because it's some stupid internet video! The internet is full of lies."
"You can't prove that."
Jr. looked at his brother as if he stepped on his brand new Jordans.
"Are you challenging my authority?"
"I'm calling you out."
"Fine, Ludwig. Believe what you want. See if I care."
"I know you're just as eager to find the truth as I am. But unlike me Jr., you're too scared to seek it out."
Jr.'s left eye twitched.
"Are you calling me a coward?"
"No, I'm implying you're a coward. I bet you're more chicken than Koopa." Ludwig than put his hands on his hips and smirked at his triumph.
"Hey," Iggy began. "C'mon guys. No fighting."
"Yeah," Larry added. "We're already knee deep in trouble with the big guy. Don't make things worse..."
"Shut up Larry," Jr. and Ludwig said in unison.
"Here we go again," Wendy exclaimed.
"I wish I had some popcorn," Morton added.
The two brothers started at each other with intense malice in their eyes. At the same time, there was a hint of admiration since each of the brother were the only ones with the audacity and gall to challenge each other.
"Name your game," Jr. began.
"I bet you're too scared to reenact what made dad transform in the beginning of that video."
The spectating siblings were alarmed.
"What?" Wendy cut in. "Guys, no. This is taking things way too far.
"Now, now dear sister," interjected Roy. "A man's gotta settle his own bets."
"And it'd be kind of funny to see these two get punished," added Morton.
"Hear me out siblings," Jr. announced. "If we do this, we'd be getting back at dad and proving that this video is just some silly farce."
"Heh," giggled Morton. "Hey Roy,"
"Yeah?"
"Farce."
The two brothers giggled.
Jr. extended his hand in front of Ludwig.
"It's a done deal," he declared.
"Excellent." Ludwig said sinisterly.
"But," Larry began. "How are you guys gonna actually go through with it? I mean, it's not like we can actually get a hold of those guys that made it happen in the first placed."
"They could get Kamek to use his magic," said Iggy.
The siblings paused, amazed by how brilliant the plan was.
"KAMEK!" Shouted Jr.
Kamek appeared in a puff of pink smoke immediately after Jr. said his name, startling the Kooplings.
"Yes, your shortness," said Kamek, showing his servitude.
"That's "Your shortness sir" to you," replied Jr. "We have a favor to ask of you…"
