A/N: I had somewhat of an idea for this a while back, but I never really developed it. Then the other day (well, I just read it the other day) bballgirl22 mentioned how it was on my profile when she replied to my review, and how someone should write a story about that. I'm pretty sure she was joking, but being the crazy person I am, I thought, "Why not?" This is that story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush. If I did, I would probably just give it back to Scott Fellows once he agreed to a few "conditions"…
"This day is perfect," James sighed. A sly smile crept up onto his face and he turned his head downward, gazing at his beloved. "You're perfect," he whispered. "And there's something I need to tell you."
He bit his lip softly. A gentle fall breeze swept his bangs up and across his forehead flawlessly. His hazel eyes were gleaming with delight. The moment couldn't have been more beautiful. He leaned in slowly, like he was about to kiss her. But instead, he veered to the right and whispered, "I love you."
He pulled back and stared at her once again. She was silent, but he didn't need her to speak. He already knew what she was thinking. "You're just so beautiful," he muttered. He couldn't hold himself back any longer. He leaned in again, but this time, did not turn. His lips had just barely brushed against her when Kendall yelled, "James! What the heck are you doing?"
James pulled away and snapped, "Dude! I'm on a date! Can't you see?" He growled and held his date closer to him.
"That's not exactly what I would call a date," Kendall remarked.
"What do you mean?" yelled James. He and his date sat on a picnic blanket in the middle of Palm Woods Park. In front of them was an empty basket. Minus the three creeps behind a bush (Kendall, Carlos, and Logan), it was the perfect setting for a date.
"Dude, look at her," Kendall replied sincerely.
"Kendall! Don't say that about my girlfriend!" He turned toward his date, a small potted palm tree, and attempted to comfort her. "Don't worry. He's just jealous because he couldn't get a girl half as beautiful as you."
"Yep, he's finally lost it," Logan retorted.
"Look, James," Kendall told him, "I don't know if you've noticed or not, but THAT'S A PALM TREE!"
James glared at the bossy blond. "Stop making fun of her! She's my girlfriend and I love her!"
"She is kinda cute," Carlos remarked.
Kendall rolled his eyes. "Whatever, James. You look like a freak."
"We should probably get him examined," Logan suggested.
James had had enough. "You guys just don't understand." He grabbed the palm tree in one hand and the picnic basket in the other and strutted away.
"Man, I hate those jerks!" James complained, plopping down on a bench just outside the park. "Who are they to tell us who we should fall in love with?"
The tree was silent.
James continued on. "I mean, they're always strutting around showing off their girlfriends, but I can't even go on one date with mine in the park. That's not even close to fair! Isn't that right?"
There was no response.
"I know! Those giant turds don't know anything! Right?"
The palm tree didn't speak. It couldn't. James knew that. However, he also knew that he would rather pretend than be alone.
James sighed, slumping down into the bench. "Maybe they are right. Maybe I'm just crazy."
Again, the tree didn't reply. However, someone else did. "I don't think you're crazy," the voice said.
James spun around, but saw no one. "You can talk?" he yelled at a bush, causing a few funny looks from passersby.
A familiar face stepped out from behind it. "Well, I don't know about the bush, but I can."
"Carlos?" James asked excitedly. "I mean oh, what do you want? Did you bring Kendall and Logan so you can make fun of my girlfriend some more?"
The little Latino sat down between James and the tree. "No, I came to apologize for them. Well, they don't know I'm here, but... that doesn't matter. Look, the palm tree is really pretty and if you want to date her, that's fine with me."
"Oh." James had no clue what to say, so he took a page from his girlfriend's book. To end the awkward silence, Carlos decided it was best to leave. He was almost around the corner when James called after him, "Wait!" He sat back down and waited for James to speak.
"Thanks for coming here and saying something," he began. "Kendall and Logan have no right to make fun of me! I don't make fun of their girlfriends! And if I did, all four of them would just team up and kill me! My girlfriend and I didn't do that to them! Maybe because my girlfriend can't, but-"
"James," Carlos interrupted, "are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine! I just- okay, maybe I'm not fine! Look at me; I'm sitting here talking to a palm tree! I AM DATING A PALM TREE!" He could feel the stares of the passersby and hear their whispers, but it didn't matter anymore. Why should he have to hide his insanity from the world when they'd find out sooner or later?
"James, I already said it: I don't think you're crazy."
"Then what am I?"
"Lonely?" Carlos guessed. James gave him a funny look. "Hey, you said it yourself that you're sick of Kendall and Logan showing off their girlfriends. It's not like I've never had that feeling. At least you get dates."
"Yeah, but they always end up getting ruined. I just wanted a relationship I couldn't screw up for once."
"Well, I do too." There was a moment of silence.
Suddenly, a tall brunette wandered out from the park. "Oh, can I sit here?"
"Sure, let me just move this," James picked up the palm tree and set it down in his lap.
"Is that yours?" she asked. Carlos scooted away so she could sit down beside him.
"Yeah," James replied.
"Cool, I love gardening! I actually have one of those back in my apartment!" As the two began to talk, Carlos slipped away behind the bushes. It was a few minutes later before James noticed. He felt bad for pushing Carlos away, but luckily, he had an idea to make it up to him.
"Hey, maybe we should go on a triple date. You know, just you and me, the palm trees, and would you happen have a twin sister who likes corn dogs?"
Well, that was... interesting. Especially that ending, I suck at those. I hope you liked it, because if not, I'm still going to keep writing. But whether you liked it or not, I would like some reviews! Seriously, you can anonymously say, "u suk" and I'll accept it. I'd rather get good reviews, but I can understand that not everyone's going to like what I write. That's just life. But honestly, I think bad reviews are better than no reviews at all.
Oh, and just so you know, that was NOT an invitation to review this by saying simply, "u suk". I'd like you to be more creative than that. ;)
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