A/N: though a long-time fan of Star Trek Voyager, I'm only now watching DS9. I just finished The Collaborator and I thought the relationship between Kira and Bareil was terribly sweet. However, I could hardly find any stories about them, when this episode so desperately begged for more, so I decided to write one myself. Please review!
Also, there's something about november. It seems that each year I join a new fandom that month or find new inspiration to write. I think it's the shorter days. Darkness seems to help me write.
Icon/cover image created by makintosh
Taking the Blame
Watching Vedek – now kai – Winn strutting about the room, jubilant and triumphant, was tortuous for Kira Nerys. The smug woman acted as if she owned the place, and, in a way, she did. Vedek Bareil should have become the next kai. Nerys glanced to her side, where Bareil was chatting to a couple of Vedeks and other guests. At least Winn appeared to be magnanimous in victory. Judging by the people constantly flocking around him, news of Bareil being a collaborator hadn't been bandied about. Once she got her wish and Bareil had removed himself from the election, Nerys guessed Winn had no reason to spread the rumour. The knowledge might be useful again later. However, the constant stream of well-wishers and visitors proved what Nerys had known all along: Bareil had been a shoe-in for the next kai. She couldn't fault him his choice to protect kai Opaka's memory, his decision had been an honourable one. But she didn't like the consequences. Vedek Winn had never been a woman Nerys was willing to follow and she doubted that would change now that she was kai. Kira knew that if the time ever came that he was publicly accused of collaborating with the Cardassians, she would defend him with everything she had. She couldn't let him take the blame again, even if he wanted to.
Switching her gaze once again from Winn to Bareil, Nerys met his warm gaze. At least he bore her no ill will for her part in the whole affair. On the contrary, he seemed as eager to continue their romance as she was. Though she didn't understand it and found it far less easy to dismiss her own feelings of guilt as easily, the thought that at least Winn hadn't been able to sabotage their relationship was a balm to Nerys' soul. And seeing Winn's self-assured smile fade for a moment when she saw the two of them walk up to her together had been satisfying, even if it only lasted for a moment. Dismissing the woman from her thoughts, Kira focussed instead on her lover and when he extended his arm to invite her into their conversation a few moments later, she didn't hesitate, but happily took a step closer and joined him.
XXX
A few hours later, after the reception had ended, Nerys followed Bareil to his rooms. In the months since they'd started their liaison, she had only been there a few times. Usually when they could take time off from their busy schedules, he came up to the station to be with her.
Her anger over his deception had long since died out, but the guilt she felt over the part she had played in his downfall had only grown during the night. She's seen the respect with which the other Vedeks treated him and realised again what her actions had cost him, and Bajor. She'd let herself be manipulated by Winn so easily. In that light, being asked back to his quarters felt like a gift.
Inside, he waved her towards a seat while he went and fixed them both a drink. Sitting down next to her a few minutes later, he graced her with a warm smile. Feeling her guilt bubble up, Nerys shied away from his gaze and put down the glass he'd just handed her.
"I'm sorry," she said remorsefully, unable to look him in the eye. "I should have refused to play Winn's game. I should have had more faith in you."
When he gently grasped her hands, she dared to look up and saw that he was still smiling at her warmly. "You merely found what I wanted you to find, Nerys. You even kept searching after you'd already found an answer. That shows me that you did have faith in me. You have nothing to be sorry for."
"But I played right into her hand!" Nerys exclaimed, dropping his hands as she gestured furiously to underscore her own guilt. "If I hadn't you would be kai now."
"Nerys," he responded, again taking her hands in his. "I meant what I said before; yours is the only vote that matters to me. Do you still believe in me?"
"Of course I still believe in you! I-" Bareil stilled the rest of her barrage when he raised her hands to his mouth and kissed them reverently.
"Then that's all I need." Nerys froze at those words, searching his eyes for any sign of doubt or hesitation, but there were none. Processing that information, her eyes grew vulnerable and her voice dropped to no more than a whisper.
"I love you." She said, scared of the words and his reaction but needing to share her revelation.
Bareil's expression didn't change, he merely responded, "I love you too", in a tone that made it seem like it was the most natural thing in the world. He was rewarded when Nerys' eyes slowly filled with wonder.
"Really?" she breathed, her face lighting up in the most beatific smile.
"Of course." Bareil answered.
It was the matter-of-factness of his tone that convinced Nerys. His words reassured, elated and humbled her. After all the misery of the occupation, she hardly dared believe her happiness could last, but his certainty silenced her doubt. Finding no more words to express what she was feeling, Kira kissed him passionately, and Bareil was more than happy to respond.
The End
