The Other Side of the Camcorder

Mark walked through the fields, past the graves, knowing all to well that Angel was just the first. He dropped his camera. He observed as Mimi began questioning Roger.

"It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?"

It's true", Roger admitted, "I'm leaving now for Santa Fe - it's true you're with this yuppie scum?" Benny recoiled in disgust. Mark could see the situation getting out of hand.

"You said you'd never speak to him again", Benny barked at Mimi.

Mark watched as his friends began, one by one, to join the brawl. Mark felt a queezy feeling in his stomach. Something he'd never felt before: sadness. The first true sadness. He thought of Maureen and wondered whether he really ever was hung up on her. The fight broke out into a riot.

"Come on guys, chill!" Mark screamed, noticing Benny had felt the same way. Was Benny made an outcast simply for the fact that he had married Alison?

His thoughts were interrupted by the mention of Angel. He choked back, and immediately, on impulse, dove for his camera. 'Observe', he told himself.

He watched Roger attack. "Your words are nice Mimi, but love's not a three-way street!" Mark choked at the thought that followed. "You'll never share real love until you love yourself... I should know."

Finally, Collins appeared to break up the fight. He calmed Joanne, Maureen, Roger and Mimi.

"I can't believe he's gone." Mark understood. "I can't believe this family must die." Mark, having distanced himself from the brawl was entertained at the thought. It was poetic.

Mark thought and thought. He couldn't understand why one missing link in the chain had rendered the friends beyond repair.

"I can't believe this is goodbye."

"I hear there are great restaurants out west"

"Some of the best." Roger's mind wandered. "How could she?"

Mark was confused. "How could you let her go?"

"You just don't know." Roger tried to relate it to Mark. "How could we lose Angel?"

Mark was angry. "Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain! At least now," Roger only had a "now". He didn't have a future. "...if you try," Mark added quickly. He frowned. "Angel's death won't be in vain."

"His death IS in vain!"

"Are you insane? There's so much to care about. There's me," Mark thought. "There's Mimi."

Roger recoiled in defense. "Mimi's got her baggage too."

"So do you!" Mark's interjection wasn't welcome.

"Who are you to tell me what I know? What to do!"

"A friend!"

"But who, Mark, are you?" This really was the last straw. Roger bared his teeth, hissing each time he spoke his name. "Mark has got his work, they say Mark lives for his work! And Mark's in love with his work." Roger bit back. Mark tried to encourage him, not realizing that what was being held back was not what he wanted to hear.

"Mark HIDES in his work!"

Immediately defensive, Mark spat out, "from what?"

"From facing you're failure - facing you're loneliness." Mark wasn't lonely before today. Mark was in between a rock and a hard place. Mark was tired. Mark was angry. Mark was sad. Mark was outraged. Mark was forgiving, and Mark was alive. "Facing the fact you live a lie."

Mark was hurt. He was fascinated by how much he could feel. How much he could care for. The tears were right on time.

"You pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive-"

"Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive!"

Mark tried and tried, but he couldn't help crying.

"Poor baby!" Roger was hurt. Mark finally understood why he was always so down. Mark understood. So did Roger.

"Mimi still loves Roger. Is Roger really jealous - or afraid that Mimi's weak?"

"Mimi did look pale..."

Now was the time to stand up. He felt it in his bones and in his heart. In of burst of thriving passion, he blurted, "Mimi's gotten thin, Mimi's running out of time! ROGER's running out the door!"

"No more!" Roger had to leave fast, before he became to attached. Mark understood this, even before it was said. "I've gotta go." Mark was compassionate. So was Roger.

"Hey, for someone who's always been let down, who's heading out of town?"

"For someone who longs for a community of his own, who's with his camera... alone!"

The passion was there. Roger spoke, at first choking back the words. Mark was worried. So was Roger.

"I'll call... I hate the fall."

Roger had bumped into a pole on his way out. It was Mimi.

"You heard?"

"Every word." Mimi was sad... longing. It fascinated Mark to finally understand.

Mimi confronted Roger, hitting close to home, hitting close to herself. Roger stormed out of the room.

"Goodbye, love." She began to cry. Her words were flooded with tears until her refrain, "goodbye love... goodbye."

Mark hadn't noticed Benny enter the room.

"Please don't touch me, understand? I'm scared."

Mark was tired of waiting behind his camera. Mark was fed up. "I know a place, a clinic-"

"A REHAB." Benny was there for Mimi. Poor Alison, all alone in Westport tonight.

Mark left the two at that moment, and as the scene changed to the road below, he could see Roger's car peek over the horizon, and then fall into the darkness of the night.