THE CLOWN, THE MADMAN AND THE SCIENTIST

And so, dear diary, I love Nnoitra-sama like mad, but I feel I'll never have the courage to tell him, and that's why my hopeless love will remain hopeless…

Tesla, a pen in his hand and tears in his eyes, was writing again in his diary how much he loved Nnoitra. HeIt did it at least a million time, but he never got tired of writing to express his affection, with simple prose or even poetry.

He let out a small, trembling sigh and told to himself not to cry, not again, no, please… every time he felt like a clown.

Szayel Aporro Grantz lied in his bed, stroking Halibel's doll hair. He loved his voodoo dolls, of course he did, because they were the only thing which could love him back, at least in his mind.

-"Little Halibel…" His fingers got down and lifted the doll's breast. The scientist's mouth stretched in an evil smirk, trying to imagine how the female Espada was feeling like.

He sighed heavily (God was he BORED) and let go of Halibel's doll, throwing it on the floor.

-"Ops. That hurts.- he bit his lip. Maybe he could get downstairs and apologise- Or maybe not…"

He took in his hands his favourite one…

His amber eyes stared at the blue ones of the rag doll.

-"I love you, little angel."

Grimmjow, Grimmjow,

There's something you should know

You're big, you're strong and manly

But why, why are you so lonely?

Why don't you go find Mr. Schiffer

And make him suffer

And here Nnoitra paused and smiled, evil.

-"For suffer I mean… well, you know it better than me!"

The Sexta Espada chased him growling like a tiger.

-"You bitch! I hate you, Spoonhead!"

N.5 wanted to go on with the song, but he was laughing so hard he thought he could bust a gut if he tried to speak. He stopped running, let Grimmjow get him and punch him in the stomach.

-"I'm going to kill you!"

-"Enough fun now." The calm voice of Gin said from somewhere. His tone announced a long, long, telling-off incoming form Mr. n.5…

Nnoitra slammed the door of his room. He was furious. Tesla knew immediately the mood of his superior just by hearing how he closed the door. He always slammed it but in many different ways. But this time, no doubt: a typhoon was coming. Everything he could do was hoping he would calm down while eating: the blond boy was preparing a sushi-dinner, humming I will always love you by Withney Houston, his favourite singer.

-"Tesla? TESLA!"

-"I'm here, sir." Yelped the Fracciòn, running as hard as he could out of the room and down the long corridor to the front door. The tall Espada looked at him for a few seconds, then burst into laughter, pointing at him.

-"Look at yourself! You're wearing an apron!"

A pink apron. Suddenly Tesla realised two things:one, Nnoitra had never seen his apron, two, he managed to make him laugh in some way. The blondie felt relieved.

-"Your dinner is ready, Nnoitra-sama."

The Espada nodded. He was hungry and even if he didn't have the faintest idea of what he was going to eat, he knew it had to be good, because Tesla was a hell of a cook.

He was right indeed. He felt better, the fit of anger was fading away, and for the first time he was enjoying chatting with his Fracciòn.

He's just a little stupid, nothing more- someone knocked at the door, interrupting Nnoitra's thoughts.

-"Who's this motherfucker now?" Whispered to himself, rising up from the sofa.

-"No, I'll get it sir." Squeaked Tesla with that cute voice of his, literally flying at the door.

The black-haired young man shrugged his shoulders. He sank back in the sofa and glanced at the door: the 'intruder' was Szayel Aporro.

-"Yo, Pink-Ass."

-"Hi, Nnoit." For the first time in his life, Nnoitra felt a little rude.

-"So, sit here.- he said, trying to seem more polite- How about a tea? Don't worry… I'm not the one who put the water in the tea-pot. Tesla's on it."

Szayel smiled, knowing perfectly that n.5 was a disaster even at making a simple tea.

-"Ok, then."

-"TESLA! Come here!" Nnoitra shouted.

Confused running.

-"Yes, sir?"

-"Why don't you bring your cute ass in the kitchen and make Szayel a tea?"

-"Of course, sir. Anything for you?"

-"Out of here."

The Fracciòn jumped immediately out of the room.

-"You really treat him like shit, Nnoitra. And he's such a lovely, obliging boy, not to mean… he's handsome."

The other Espada let out an evil laugh.

-"C'mon, Sza-Sza, he's such a bitch."

Dead silence. Szayel hadn't be so angry with Nnoitra in his whole life. How could he? This idiot has such an angel of Fracciòn and he didn't give a fuck about him.

Then again… the look in his eyes. Unmistakably love. A timid love, nothing more than affection growing stronger, but love anyway.

The scientist suddenly found himself in a cold sweat.

What could he do? If Nnoitra one day would have told Tesla about his feelings, Szayel's hopes would have been lost-forever.

-"How can I prevent this from happening? It seems inevitable…"

-"Tea!" Mewed Tesla with two cups in his hands, stepping carefully in the room. One time he broke a cup and Nnoitra beated him black and green.

When he gave the cup to Szayel, their hands touched lightly. The pink-haired Espada smiled maliciously and Tesla blushed.

Nnoitra had his cup and then the blond Fracciòn rushed out of the room.

-"You embarrassed him." Nnoitra said, with an accusatory glance.

-"Really?" Szayel replied, trying to appear indifferent.

An evil scientist laughter resounded in Szayel lab as he worked at his newest mixture.

-"Verona! Lumina! Bring me the green acid in the last shelf! Move it, you little offence to the eye!"

The two arrancars, panting and snorting, brought him an enormous bottle full of a green disgusting, gelatinous thing.

Szayel's eyes were full of madness, even his movements became crazy.

-"Finally I found the way to get rid of that Spoon Head! You can't stand him? Just kill him!- he sang, like he was working in a commercial for mousetraps- This liquid will make him fall in a state of coma, so deep, he will seem dead, and when they'll bury him, he will die in his coffin."

Happy like a bouncing bunny, he poured the acid in the mixture, adding a drop of pink perfume.

-"My signature." He murmured, smelling the result of his sick work.

He laughed again.

Luppi's scream resounded in all Las Noches.

-"Aizen-sama! Aizen-sama!"

His violet eyes were full of pure fear.

-"Another one of your tricks?" Grimmjow growled, threatening.

Aizen lifted an hand and the room fell into silence.

-"Shut up, Sexta Espada! This kid is terrified. What happened?"

-"Nnoitra…- and then, a trembling sound- he's dead."

Silence. Then, a moan and a loud wham.

Tesla fainted.

The white big bed was surrounded by candles, little flames trembling and dancing, the only thing in the room looking alive.

Besides Tesla, of course. On the bed, the soon-to-be-dead body of the Quinta Espada, on his knees, his head on Nnoitra's chest, crying his eyes out, the little Tesla.

Sighs shook his shoulders, and sometimes he cried:

-"Why you, Nnoitra-sama? Take me with you! I love you! Yes, I friggin' love you! Now I told you, so please…don't do this to me… wake up…."

Szayel entered the room silently. He placed a hand on Tesla's head and whispered at his ear:

-"Poor thing. And poor Nnoitra. Stand up, Fracciòn, let me give you a little comfort."

-"Y-you're very kind, Szayel-sama, but…"

-"It was an order." The blondie immediately stood up.

The evil scientist took a surprised Tesla in his arms, feeling his warmth.

He gently caressed his soft curls, closing his eyes and barely moaning with pleasure.

-"You poor little cutie. Now you're alone, aren't you?"

He looked at the young man in his arms, lifting his chin with two fingers.

-"Yes, sir. *Sniff* I'm the most lonely guy in the world."

Szayel wiped away Tesla's tears with a graceful finger.

-"Don't worry. I'll take care of you."

-"But sir!- Protested the boy, his eyes full of shock- You have Verona and Lumina…"

-"They're born to die…"

-"Please, no! If you really want, I can be your Fracciòn… but along with them."

Szayel smiled softly and placed a sweet kiss on Tesla's forehead.

-"How can I resist you? Those two monsters will live."

Tesla's big kitten eyes looked into the Espada's with gratitude. The pink haired scientist noticed how beautiful they were, and lowering his look, he saw how full and soft his lips were.

-"I can't hold this anymore!" His arms pressed the Fracciòn against his chest tighter than a chain and tried to kiss him.

Tesla let out a little squeak and freed himself.

-"What are you doing Szayel-sama?" His eyes were now full with terror. The Espada in front of him wasn't Szayel anymore, but a pink devil, lust literally squirting out of his amber eyes, with a strange, mad light in his pupils.

-"Please Tesla, let go of Nnoitra! He's not here anymore! I love you!"

Cried Szayel, and then he whispered at Tesla's ear, like a tempting snake:

-"If you accept, you'll not be a Fracciòn for the rest of your life. I'll find the right place for you.- he gently stroked his hair- As you can see, an Espada is missing."

The blondie startled like Szayel's voice burned his ear, and started crying.

-"How could you know what I want! I'll tell you! The only thing I want on Earth, with all my heart…- some sniffing- I… only wish that Nnoitra-sama was alive, with me, a thousand time ruder, but here with me! And---" He couldn't continue because sighs broke his voice.

-"Well then. As you want." The scientist drew out a test tube out of his pocket and moved toward Nnoitra. Tesla took a glance at Szayel wondering what he was doing.

After a few minutes, the Fifth Espada was sitting on the bed calling for Tesla.

The Fracciòn fainted again.

His indigo eyes were full with surprise when they told him about his 'death'. He only remembered about a 'drink' that Szayel left for him in his room…