"The power at my house flickered last night. Was that you?"

"Here's a tip; shaving in the dark? Not a good idea."

"Do you honestly believe I would do this to myself? Apparently, my barber doesn't know the difference between 'A little off the back, please,' and 'Hey dude, gimme a poodle cut!'"

"Well, I think it looks nice."

"Are you kidding? Can somebody say, 'Astroturf'?"

"You didn't let me finish. I meant, it looks nice - for a hairdo malfunction, that is."

"Well, now that we're all done with our little haircut ha-has, let's get on to business."

"What business? I'm free."

"Me, too."

"Aroo!"

"My agenda's clearer than your sinuses."

"Me too."

"Free as the wind."

"The one day nobody's busy and you have to spend it ridiculing a situation that is entirely not my fault."

(Later)

"Here he comes. Look, he's wearing a hat."

"Nice hat."

"Yeah...now how can we get it off him?"

"Oh, hey."

"What?"

(National anthem plays)

"You gotta salute."

"What is this for? Why on earth is that song playing?"

" (good humored tone) Salute, or I'll whip out my...4 across, a deadly weapon, 3 letters."

"Okay, (disgusted, salutes)"

"Nuh-uh-uh."

"NOW what?"

"Take it off."

"Take off what?"

"Your hat. It's not allowed."

"But I-"

"Tsk tsk, disrespectful, aren't we?"

"All right, all right, I'll take off the-"

"Thank you very much."

"Hey, you stopped the music!"

"Now I've got the hat. And you can't have it back."

"I paid for that hat!"

"And you'll do it again. We're holding it for ransom."

"Yeah, and by the way, nice hat hair."

"Hat hair? I've got hat hair?"

"Are you kidding, Alfalfa boy?"

"I do not look like Alfalfa!"

"Yes you do. Alfalfa boy, alfalfa boy!"

"Nice mo(hawk), bro. Very becoming. All you need is a nose ring and you could probably go undercover in a punk club."

"That's it, I've had it! I am going to go soak my head in water until every last follicle is glued to my skull!"

"Do that. I've told you you ought to soak your head for months now."

"Arf!"

"You said it, boy."

"How did you do that?"

"I saw his head move up."

"Don't you ever do that again. I half expected you to start glowing with light from heaven."

(Later)

"Well, you got the money?"

"Yes, of course, I've got it."

"Let me count it. Hmmmmm...10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70...all here. Somebody bring me the hat. He paid up."

"(coming out with golden platter. Uncovers it and the hat sits on a soft pillow) Voila! One hat belonging to he who shall remain nameless."

"(grabs it) Thank you. (plops it on head) I feel...dignified again."

"If that's another word for 'ridiculous', I agree."

"So do I."

"Me too."

"Aye."

"I plead guilty."

"So do I."

"Ruf!"

"Ingrates!"

(all the others laugh)

Okay, now guess which STFBEye characters are saying each line. The hairdo guy is pretty easy to guess.