DISCLAIMER: I am not JKR. I do not own anything in this that she does (characters and places). I own the plot.

This is unbeta-ed, please be gentle.

The idea just popped into my head of "my dad is better than you dad", but played with blood. And I was daft enough to think it just might work.


"My blood is so pure, we... we... we haven't married any muggles in... lots of years!" Crabbe said with a smile. He knew he wasn't be good at counting, but he was a pureblood, which instantly made him much times better than Harry Potter.

Daphne sighed, and returned to her homework. She never understood why the rest of Slytherin was so uptight about blood purity. From the sounds of it, every single person in the common room that night was no further apart than third cousin, and the group of her peers sitting in a circle on the floor were probably closer than that. Which made playing "My blood is so pure that..." a bit moot really. Daphne wondered why she couldn't have been sorted into Ravenclaw.

It was Millicent that spoke up next – "my blood is so pure, that we've not had a squib born into the family in... FOUR HUNDRED YEARS!" This of course, led to cheers from the rest of the circle.
Daphne still had no idea why the stupid hat had sorted her into Slytherin anyway. She was the first half-blood to be put into Slytherin in the entirety of Snape's time at Hogwarts. A fact he had pointed out numerous times during her stay.

"My blood is so pure that it is red".

"Goyle you imbecilic flobberworm larva, blood is supposed to be red. Try again!"

"Sorry Mr Malfoy. My blood is so pure that I can wash my clothes in it!"

Draco shook his head. He too was surprised at the sorting hat's decision. Why couldn't Goyle had been sorted into Hufflepuff? The house would certainly have fit; everyone knew Hufflepuff was only for those destined to be followers. Draco looked over at Daphne.

"Aren't you joining in this time Daph? It's so much fun"

"Get knotted!"

Draco smirked. Finally! A reaction from the Greengrass girl. Draco still couldn't understand why Lord Greengrass had seen fit to dilute his bloodline with that filthy muggle 'healer'.
"Hey Daph" he called, "My blood is so pure, that my family tree is actually a family vine!"

The circle of Slytherins clapped Draco, and stood up, high fiving each other and cheering. Daphne set down her charms textbook, and faced them, her brown eyes shining with an inner fire
"LISTEN UP you inbred little maggots. Fucking your sister, your aunt, or whoever happens to be both is not a CLEVER idea." At this the Slytherin common room went silent. Even the green fire stopped crackling and popping. "My mother is a muggle scientist"

The silence broke, and giggles could be heard from Crabbe and Goyle.

"Go on, laugh it up. Crabbe, have you ever noticed the sixth finger? Goyle, surely you realise that normal people only have two nipples?" The two boys stopped laughing, and looked at each other. They looked at Daphne and scowled, Crabbe cracking his left knuckles against his much larger right hand. "My mother is a muggle. And my blood is purer than any of yours!" and with that, Daphne stormed out of the common room.

Draco shrugged, grabbed Millicent, his favourite cousin, and went off in search of an empty cupboard.