A wedding dress. A wedding dress. A wedding dress. Why, or rather how, was he, Gray Fullbuster, best ice mage in Fiore (cause let's face it, that bastard Lyon was just the biggest showoff an asshole could be, what with that ego of his and all), in a fucking wedding dress?! In front of the entire guild for them all to happily applaude and jeer at! And worst of all, Natsu Dragneel was standing right in front of him with the biggest shiteating grin plastered on his face. Why? Just why?!
"BWAHAHAHA! Oh Mavis this is absolutely priceless! What job did you take to end up looking like a bride?!" Natsu laughed out, tears in the corners of his eyes, same as everyone else. Well, apart from Juvia. Juvia just felt extremely sorry for her beloved ice mage.
Gray just hung his head and let out a shaky sigh. Should he tell them what happened? Could he tell them how he ended up in this mess? No...surely they'd only laugh more. But then, how much worse could today get right now?
"You honestly want to know? Truly?"
Natsu just managed to grin even wider as the laughter began dying down, all interested in how their ice mage had ended up in this situation. "YEAH!" Came a chorus of replies.
Gray sighed again and awkwardly took a seat, Team Natsu joining him along with Wendy and Juvia. "Fine...the job I took was to go to some fancy ball or something, but then I ended up running into Lyon and...ugh, it was all his idea...I suppose".
"Wait a minute Gray!" Mira interrupted, setting up a large lacrima screen on one of the walls, "I got this in a package just before you got back, it's from Lyon. The note says that it'll save you explaining" she giggled.
Oh...no...he...didn't! Lyon did not send Mira a package containing a lacrima tape of what had happened! Absolutely no way! Gray looked at her stunned before slouching down in his seat. "I'm gonna kill that fucking bastard when I next see him...!" But then he got the 'bright' idea to go hide in one of the guest bedrooms Fairy Tail had for the duration of his guildmates' entertainment.
"Oh this just gets better...what the bloody heck do you think you're doing here?" I growled at the stupid Lamia Scale icy dimwit that happened to be my surrogate brother. "Do you enjoy stealing my limelight, or do you enjoy making me your entertainer?"
"I see your manners haven't changed a bit since we last spoke. And for the answer to your glorious question, brother, I enjoy doing both of those things. So, I suspect you're here on a job. Well, as if someone like you could pull a date to go somewhere as fancy as this. How do you expect to get in, especially with that dreadful condition of your stripping"
"IT'S NOT A CONDITION, IT'S A HABIT YOU-!"
"Keep your cool, I was just messin'. But seriously, how are you going to do your job without proper invite?"
"I have permission, I got it just before you arrived here to ruin my horrid day"
Lyon sighed, the bastard really had some nerve talking to me today. Really, I only took this stupid job cause I needed a decent break. The task isn't too easy, I'm here in somebody's place. Before I even knew what the bloody heck was happening, I was being dragged off somewhere by Lamia Scale's dim-witted deluded ice pervert. "Here, put this on. We'll work as a team since you're so useless".
"I don't need the help of a Lamia Scale mage, especially one with your name on them"
"Gray" he growled, "Just put the stupid thing on, alright? We only have to stay for an hour, then we can go"
I muttered something under my breath, I can't exactly remember what it was, and changed into...a wedding dress? Why the heck did he just hand me a fucking- Oh. Oh of course. I should've fucking known he wasn't over Juvia like he said after the Grand Magic Games. I couldn't help but burst out laughing after I changed and exited the room he'd shoved me in. Oh this was priceless, I am never going to let him live this down - especially once Juvia herself finds out. But then again, he's probably never going to let me live it down that I'm currently attending a ball with him stuck in a fucking wedding dress of all things!
Anyway, as if my current situation wasn't enough, the stupid prick decided to carry me there. Yep...like a fucking virgin bride. Oh dear Mavis, please let nobody find out about this - I'd die a happy man if nobody finds out about this. So as I was being carried by my delightful brother, the stupid fool decided it'd be ever so smart to kiss me on the cheek before we entered and then he put me down, at last.
"What the hell did you just do...?" I asked, cheeks flushing for NO GODDAM REASON OKAY?!
"Aw, you're so adorable like that"
...Was he mocking me? Probably. No wait, I take that back! He was probably fantasising me as being Juvia or something oddly creepy like that. I don't think even Mavis and Zeref would know what goes through this prick's head on most days. I am so thankful he did not try and join Fairy Tail after he 'fell in love'. I would've shot myself, happily. I'm serious. Well, I guess I could try mocking him back, shouldn't be too hard, right?
"So...I guess this means you're over Juvia if you just gave your first kiss to me" I grinned slyly, oh the bastard had it coming I tell you.
"Me, over Juvia? No way. I mean, I thought I was, but y'know, she's just so irresistible and how the fuck can you keep turning her down? Honestly Gray there's something horribly wrong with you to not go out with a girl like that!"
Something wrong with me?! Heck you're the guy who just shoved your younger brother in a wedding dress you somehow managed to get a hold of, carried him across town to a fancy ball and kissed him on the cheek like he's your fucking bride! And you're saying there's something wrong with me?! Jeez, the people I put up with, honestly...somebody kill me now, I'm begging you.
"Are you going to lecture me on this again? I already told you, I don't need you or anybody else sorting out my love life for me. I'm fine on my own"
"You keep saying that-"
"Because it's true"
"-but someday you'll see you need somebody like her, and when she's mine you'll realise what you're missing out on".
I sighed and fixed myself up a little, subconsciously of course. Why the heck did he have this stupid thing on him in the fucking first place anyway? Was he going to ask Juvia to marry him by giving her this? The thought alone made me want to burst into laughter again - man, Lyon truly was an idiot. Maybe even a bigger idiot than Natsu...nah, Natsu's the biggest idiot I know.
I didn't protest any further as he took my hand, locking his arm round mine with a smile on his face. What did I do to deserve this...? We walked through the doors, me trying to avoid contact with anything but the damn floor, and Lyon let us be led by a butler to a table near the back, thank goodness. I dared myself to look up and glance round before Lyon put his hand on my knee. I glared sharply at him from the corner of my eye but the damn prick didn't seem to give a damn. He really was imagining me as Juvia wasn't he?
If I felt awkward as hell now then it was about to get worse the moment somebody nearby asked us our relationship with each other. "Oh, we're newlyweds, here for a swift honeymoon before the real fun stuff tonight" I felt my face trying to rival Erza's hair colour and tried slinking down into my seat but Lyon ended up wrapping an arm round my waist and pulling me closer to him. I could quite happily die now, PLEASE!
Thankfully once the hour was up, I made my exit and wriggled from the ludicrous outfit, not caring I was only in my boxers since I'm pretty used to being this exposed anyway. Lyon shortly followed me out with a smirk on his face, typical. "Oh now what? You can go home now if you want".
"Tsk tsk, it's our honeymoon Gray, we gotta get down to business tonight. There's no way you're leaving so soon and besides, I have your original clothes".
"I'd rather die, Lyon"
"Aww, you don't wanna be a virgin forever do you?"
I stepped back and got into a battle stance, growling, "Take one more step or so help me I will attempt to murder you in cold blood!"
He just smirked and took another step toward me, making me back up and trip over something, blacking out.
When I woke up I was in some sort of room and...back in that stupid dress?! I growled and looked round for the bastard, seeing him sitting not far away from me, that same annoying smirk plastered on his damn face. "I wondered when my bride was going to wake up"
"Would you quit it already?"
"Nope, it's official"
"What is...?"
"Last night, me and you officially got married"
I paled and really felt like shooting myself in the head. What the heck was this crazy bastard talking about? He smirked and got up coming closer to me and lifting my chin up before capturing my lips in a sweet kiss. My eyes widened and I struggled, breaking the kiss and eventually kicking him off. "What are you going on about? Did you get drunk off your ass after I blacked out?!"
"Nope. I found this place that let's people marry as long as one person is in wedding attire. So, I got some documents signed and now you're officially Gray Vastia".
I swallowed thickly and shakily asked for the documents, after he gave them to me I read them through and felt my soul trying to leave my body. There it was, printed in black and white, my name mixed with his damn surname. I gave him an icy glare and punched him in the jaw, as well as jabbing my fist into his stomach, and ran for it. No having a single care in the world.
"So...that's what happened..." Natsu stared at the screen before bursting into another fit of laughter, and laughing even harder with everyone else when Gray finally came out from hiding (not in the dress but in some old clothes he'd found from a few days ago he'd lost). "Gray~ Shouldn't you go find your husband before he has a fit in looking for you~?" Gray's face paled and he began shaking as he saw something past his guildmates. Natsu and everyone were confused at first before a voice spoke behind them all.
"Yes Gray, you shouldn't run away from your new husband". Lyon smirked in the guild doorway before walking over to the other ice mage and piking him up bridal style.
Gray struggled intensely and thrashed around best he could in Lyon's grip. "H-HEY LET ME GO YOU STUPID BASTARD!" Lyon paid no attention to him as he carried him out of the guild.
"I'll bring him back later, maybe tomorrow if he's lucky".
