"Mistletoe."
By: EddFanatic
Author's Note: This story contains slash and yaoi, if you are uncomfortable with any of these conditions, please click out of this story and find something to your liking. "Never Say Goodbye" will not be updated again until this story is complete.
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I tried to get him to look my way, if only for the slightest moment, just to tell him how I really feel about him. My palms began to sweat, I could feel my heart pounding out of my ribs, my eyes couldn't force themselves away from him. I tried to focus on other issues; the attempt was a failure. All I could think about was him, all I could see was him, and all I really wanted was him.
Who am I kidding? It's useless. He would never go for someone like me, not in a million years. He's so arrogant and obnoxious, and I'm... I'm... not. I wish I could tell him how I feel, but I have to tell my parents above anyone, and, besides, he probably wouldn't give me the time of day.
I'm a bit frightened about telling my parents about the way that I am. Whenever I would have a problem when I was younger, they'd shove a book in my hands and leave me for their jobs. It seems like that was all they ever cared about; work, what to do for work, how to work me around their jobs' schedules. I'm not saying that I don't love my mother and father dearly, that's not what I'm saying at all. All I'm trying to say is that... my parents can be a little judgmental. They're also the kind of people who aren't great with giving "talks". They've always left me alone, expecting me to learn all things in the matter of love (and everything else for that matter) from books. But, the heart just doesn't work like the books state... especially in my case.
Mother would probably begin weeping and Father would be left speechless before shoving another "informative" book into my hands. I wish I could be more like Eddy when it comes to matters such as this; stand up to your elders and not be afraid to fight back when it's absolutely necessary. Yet, that is only a wish; a wish that I know will never be. I feel that I'll never find the right time to tell my parents about my... my... feelings.
I'm trying to stay optimistic. I keep telling myself that it can't be as bad as I think or Mother and Father love you, they'll accept you just the way you are. Why do I get the feeling that these statement are going to be just as preposterous as they sound in mind? Why am I even bothering to tell them about this? Eddy's probably clueless to my feelings and he probably couldn't care less. He never was much of a listener; always a leader, the one who takes charge (or thinks he does). It sounds ridiculous, but I do love him. He's obnoxious, he's arrogent, he's bossy, but he's... he's my life.
I know I'm just worrying myself for nothing and I know that I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. It's the way I am; it's the way I think I always have been. Nothing is making any type of logical connection! I've got to pull myself together! I need a definite deadline to tell my parents. I'll tell them tomorrow at dinner, when their work schedule is the least hectic.
--
The next evening's dinner had arrived far too quickly for Edd. He felt his heart racing and could hear its thumps ringing through his ears. His paler-than-normal hands shook as he placed his plate of vegetables on his family's oak table. He slowly dropped into his chair at the end of the rectangular table. Edd's mother looked up from her meal after hearing a small sigh coming from her depressed-looking son.
"Eddward, honey," she began calmly, "is there anything wrong?"
"No, Mother." The boy with the black beanie told. His light blue eyes didn't budge from the dull floral pattern of the rug on the dinning room floor.
"Dear, all is not well. Please, tell me what is troubling you." Gracie lovingly said to her son.
"I was hoping to tell you and Father something, but since Father is working late, I don't think I should trouble you with it." Double D said, his expression forming to his mood and his face growing extremely cold and pale.
"Eddward, I'm your mother. You know that you could never trouble me. It's a mother's job to listen to her child's problems; if you're having problems, I sure wish you would talk to me about them."
"Oh, Mother," Edd stated, he was now on the verge of tear, "it's so difficult to explain how I've been feeling over the months.Um, there's this person that I'm, well, I'm attracted to."
"Really? It's quite normal for you to be experiencing these emotions. Sweetheart, you're fourteen now, you're body's hormones are starting to stimulate themselves."
"I know."
"Then why in Heaven's name are you worrying yourself over this?"
In a rush, the line blurted out of the boys mouth. "Because I'm gay." He felt the warmth of tears falling from his cold face into his even colder hands, which he used to hide his face. Just before his mother could pull him into a comforting hug filled with soft shushes, Edd father walked in the front door.
"Eddward, go get into bed." Gracie told her son calmly. "I need to talk with your father."
"Yes, Mother." Double D went to his bed room, hiding his tears from his father until he shut his bedroom door. He grasped tightly to his pillow as he sat up on his bed. He sulk into the pillow, listening to the conversation his parents were holding in the other room. The voices were too muffled for him to hear anything.
With a sigh, thoughts began to untangle Edd's mind. He felt sick to his stomach as thoughts whirled around in his head. Before he could complete one thought, another one would fly by at the speed of light. He wasn't sure how he felt. All the thoughts were overwhelming him as he fell into the comfort of his bedspread and slowly fell asleep.
