To Teach, and To Learn
Day 5: Mentor
Mathilda had been surprised when the girl had first approached her. From what she had observed, she seemed the reticent sort, preferring to hang out with the friends from her village instead of meeting others and forming any new bonds.
Yet one night, after Mathilda had finished dinner with Clive and was busy checking Alm's latest reports for any irregularities, Faye had come up to her while fiddling with the hem of her robes.
She was nervous, obviously unused to speaking to a stranger so many years her senior. Mathilda kept an encouraging smile on her face, waiting patiently for her request.
"I, uh..." Faye took a deep breath. "Look, I know I'm asking a lot, but well, if it was possible, could I ask for... well, some help? With my training, I mean."
And even surprised as she was, it hadn't taken her much thought before agreeing to it. They all trained at the same time anyway and keeping an eye on the younger ones' progress would probably do them some good. If nothing else, if there were any glaring flaws in their combat performance it would be better if it was noticed and corrected before the next major battle.
As it turned out, Faye was a fast learner. Under Mathilda's watchful eye, she improved quickly, learning how to better control her mount, and to keep a surer grip on her lance. She had a sort of focused drive about her that allowed her to strive away at a single goal while shutting everything else out.
And the next time there had been a large clash with Rigel, the fruits of her labour had shown themselves as Faye stormed the battlefield, keeping pace with Mathilda as they drove back and cut down enemy soldier after soldier.
"Good work," Mathilda said to her later, after the battle had concluded and they had time to rest and recover. "You really shone out there today."
"I did?" Faye nodded, her expression thoughtful. "Maybe I did, after all. I hope Alm was watching." Mathilda had made a pithy reply about how Alm probably had his hands full with fighting his own battles, and they had left the conversation at that.
They'd continued their training even as they continued their march deeper into the heart of Rigel, and Faye continued to improve and grow.
"Why did you come to me, anyway?" Mathilda asked her once as they sat down for lunch. Faye often ate with her friends, but today's midday meal had happened on the tail end of another training session, and Faye had accepted the offer to eat together. "I'm sure there are plenty of other soldiers you could have asked to help train you."
It had been an idle question, really. And she'd half expected the answer to be that she was the strongest female knight in Zofia, so who wouldn't want to train under her?
But Faye had flushed and looked at the ground, causing Mathilda to raise an eyebrow at the unexpected behaviour.
"Faye?"
"N- no, it's..." she glanced off to the side and one finger scratched at her cheek. "I guess... I wanted to be more like you."
"Like me?" A famous knight of Zofia? But no, that didn't seem quite right. Faye didn't strike her as passionate about battle. She was indeed getting better at it, but it was due to her ability to double down and focus on any one thing – something that could be applied equally well to other walks of life.
"I mean... everyone looks up to you!" Faye shrugged. "You're always so confident, and all the other members of the Deliverance seem to trust in you when it comes to fighting. And Sir Clive sings your praises all the time! He can get a little sappy when he does that, honestly, but... I don't know." Faye blew out a long breath of air. "I want to be like... you. Not just that, but... well, to have that kind of relationship too.
"The two of you seem really close, and I guess I was kind of... jealous." She sighed and looked down at her meal. "I tried being more enthusiastic about this war and all, but Alm just seemed kind of unnerved when I acted that way. I thought that was what he wanted, honestly. But I guess not. But you and Sir Clive seem to understand each other so much. Like he enjoys seeing how well you perform on the field. And – and even how good you are at fighting and killing. And I..." her fingers picked at a scab on her arm. "Well, I suppose I wanted to see if I could become more like that. Even just a little bit. The sort of person everyone could rely on." She took a deep breath. "The sort of person Alm could rely on."
It was the longest Mathilda had ever heard the youngest girl talk about herself, and she found herself taking a long time to respond. She'd long known that the younger girl had an intense devotion to the leader of the Deliverance, but that was a matter to be left to the two of them. As for how the girl regarded her...
"Is that so?" Mathilda laughed and shook her head. "Well, I won't deny Clive is indeed my biggest cheerleader. And that's something I've always loved about him. But I've always been passionate about combat. Even if there was no war, I'd still have chosen the path of the spear. Would you have done the same?"
Faye shook her head.
"And there's no shame in that." Mathilda leaned her head down, so she could look Faye in the eye. "You're not me, Faye. And you don't have to force yourself to be. I'd be happy to continue tutoring you in the ways of lance, as long as the fires of war continue to spread. But there will be many paths for you to take, Faye, once peace is won. Don't think you have to follow mine."
The girl was silent for a long moment. "Doesn't that sound strange? 'I can teach you a lot about fighting, but then you're probably going to drop all of it?' I'd have thought... well, you'd want me to continue to develop the skills you'd teach me."
Mathilda heaved a long sigh. "Well, the way I see it, we have to win our future back first, before we can decide how we want to shape it. So, right now... yes, teaching you how to tear those Rigelian louts apart seems the most practical way to go about things."
A low snort, and Faye smiled at that. "...Yeah, I guess. So I guess you'll be willing to continue teaching me?"
"But of course." Mathilda stood and nodded. "Just... I hope that by the end of all this, I'll have taught you a bit more than how to ride a horse or swing a lance. So, if you're ever in need of anything, feel free to come find me, okay?"
"All right..." Faye still didn't seem entirely convinced, but at least she was considering Mathilda's words. "Then... same time tomorrow?"
She nodded back in response. "Indeed."
The streets of the Rigelian capital were cold and silent, save for the howling of the winds around her.
Mathilda kneeled in the snow, her head low. For a long moment, she did not move.
Clive.
Behind her came the thud of boots and swift footfalls.
"Mathilda!" Faye's voice, strangely muted sounding. "Oh gods, Mathilda! I heard-!"
At this she raised her head. Faye was standing in front of her, her face contorted in – grief? Pain?
All of a sudden all her words seemed to have left her. There was nothing to say.
Faye seemed rooted to the ground, but then she swallowed, and took a step closer.
A moment later, Faye had thrown herself forward, and embraced Mathilda, clutching onto her as tightly as she could manage.
It might have been seen as strange, a younger girl suddenly embracing someone ten years her senior.
But grief and empathy had a way of cutting down barriers.
It was not a teacher and student that clung to each other, nor even fellow knights and soldiers. But simply two people, one reacting to the other's naked pain.
She didn't know how long they remained like that, but gradually she became aware that Faye was speaking.
"I'm sorry," she said, her words so soft they were almost lost to the frigid evening air.
Mathilda closed her eyes, and felt icy tears on her cheeks. She sniffled, and shook her head once.
"Thank you."
That was all she could say.
The sunlight that filtered in through the windows cast the room in a glow of warm orange. Mathilda was silent as she stood, feeling the weight of the ceremonial cloak on her shoulders.
Twenty minutes. A little less than that, really. Then it would be official.
"Mathilda?"
She turned, and saw Faye standing in the doorway of the chamber, looking apprehensive.
"Faye." She offered her a warm smile.
"I, well..." The younger girl – no, not a girl anymore – swallowed. "Congratulations. It's a great honour, becoming Captain of the Knights."
"... Thank you." Of course, in happier times, she would not have been the one selected for the job. But the duty now fell on her. "It's also a great responsibility, certainly. I'll have to steel myself to match the challenges to come."
Faye offered her an encouraging smile. "You'll be able to handle it. I know you can."
"Thank you," Mathilda paused. "And what about you? The war is won. What will you do now?"
She shrugged, as if uncomfortable at the thought. "I... don't really know. I didn't really think about it much before. I guess... I'm going back to Ram."
In some ways, that seemed the natural outcome. Faye had always struck Mathilda as preferring the quiet, provincial life. She could be happy there.
And yet at the same time, the way she worded her statement... it wasn't her goal. It wasn't her dream. She was leaving without one. An admission of defeat.
"I see..." Mathilda nodded once.
"Is something wrong?"
"Wrong? Oh, no. It's just that... well, being made Captain of the Knights of an entire continent is going to be a task with many responsibilities. I could do with an aide. In fact... I was kind of hoping that you might be willing to give the position a try."
Faye's eyes widened for a moment, before she bit her lip and looked away. "I don't... I mean, I don't want to be a drag on you. You've already taught me so much-"
And Mathilda found herself laughing. "I remember saying that I wished I'd have the chance to teach you more than how to fight a war. And... well, I'll be honest with you, Faye. I'll be learning on the job too. It's a big step forward, after all. And who knows? I might even end up learning something from you too."
Faye made a face. "I'm being serious here, you know."
"So am I. As long as we strive for it, we'll never stop learning. We'll never stop growing. Strength, wisdom, experience. From the world around us, and from each other..." She smiled fondly as she remembered Faye, a constant supportive presence at her side the first few weeks after she'd lost Clive. She remembered simply sitting at her side in turn when she'd learned that Alm did not return her feelings. "So, what do you say?"
The younger woman was silent for a long moment. And then a smile split her face.
"All right. I'm in." She paused, took a deep breath. "And... thanks."
Mathilda smiled in return. "Well then, shall we be off? It seems we have an announcement to make at the ceremony now."
And the two of them turned to leave the room, together.
Story End
Author Notes: Not that often I write about two characters who have functionally zero ingame interaction. But hey it seemed like a nice idea.
Also part of the (self-imposed?) challenge was writing a GenFic about two characters who are very heavily influenced in the behaviour and motivations by their love interests (or well, desired love interests in Faye's case). Hope it turned out well!
Also why do all my SoV works seem to involve someone dying? Truly a mystery for the ages.
Also I need to work on this brevity thing. My stories all end up being longer than they should be.
