Author's note
This is not a happy story. If you are reading this hoping for cute Spirk moments and happiness. Close this and find a different story. This just in what I have written so far has rape, suicide mentions and an attempt, abandonment, and self harm. And as it gets farther will have more of the same. I am awful to Jim in this story especially, but Spock isn't safe from it either. I will try to make sure to add trigger warnings to the top of each chapter as well as a reminder. But this will have a happy ending...I hope. I'm not sure quite where the story will take me. I switch perspectives alot so those are separated by breaks and the persons name in all caps at the top of each section. Also direct thoughts are in italics.
TW-Rape, abuse
JIM
Fear coursed through Jim's body as he hid in the tiny crawlspace behind the closet of his bedroom. Frank was drunk again and that never ended well for him. Last time it ended in a broken arm and worse that wasn't visible. Maybe this time he won't find me. As much as he sincerely hoped that would be the case, but realistically he knew Frank always found him and with Sam gone and his mom still in space for the next two weeks who knows when or if he would stop this time Maybe he'll kill me...be better than this.
"Get out here you little fucker!" He heard from inside his room. He flinched and covered his mouth to try and hide his hyperventilating. The door to the closet was thrown open.
"James I know you're in here somewhere"
Suddenly he was grabbed by the ankle and dragged out of the crawl space. He heard himself yelp in surprise and fear. The grip on his ankle was so tight he could feel new bruises forming. Not that that would matter he was sure he would have more than a little bruising by the time Frank finally passed out.
"See James I always find you." He picked Jim up and carried him to throw him onto the couch.
He landed hard on the couch hitting his head on arm. He tried to scramble away when frank pulled away to drink some more whiskey from the bottle he had been working on for the last hour. When he heard the bottle hit the table again he felt hands sneaking under his shirt No not again His shirt was pulled off followed by bruising kisses and his pants being unbuttoned. The next thing he knew he was naked. Franks pants followed his thrown on the floor. No no no no no no no. He heard a noise A door? as Frank flipped him on to his stomach and towered over him touching him in ways he didn't want to feel. A hardness started to press into him when there was a crash and a shrill voice screamed.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Mom! Frank was ripped off of him and thrown to the floor. "You better get the fuck out of my house!" His mom warned. He sat up trying to cover himself but only revealing more of the bruising from previous days.
WINONA
"What the fuck are you going to do about it you frigid bitch?"
Winona Kirk saw red as she noticed all of the bruises covering her son. She pulled her phaser out and stunned him several times. Then she pulled her communicator out and called the police to come get him. Finally she looked at Jim as he tried to cover all of his bruising and nudity from her.
"Jim." She started not knowing what to say.
"Mom why are you home? I thought it was going to be another couple weeks."
"I got a notification from the school saying you hadn't been there for over a month and they were dismissing you. I came back to make sure you were okay and I'm so glad I did why didn't you comm me? Tell me what was happening?"
Jim gave a sarcastic chuckled. "I tried mom. Remember I told you the very first time he hit me and the first time he touched me. You thought I was making it up because I didn't like the bastard."
Winona thought back wincing when she realized both that he was right and how long ago that was. She pulled Jim into her arms and he let her. "I'm so sorry Jimmy...that was three years ago. H-has this been going on ever since then?"
He nodded obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore. He reluctantly let her look at his bruising and she found that most of it wasn't too serious and would heal on his own but it looked like a couple of his ribs might be broken. She had to get him to a hospital to get that looked at.
When the police arrived they took one look at Jim and hauled Frank away. Hopefully that's the last of him we have to deal with. I can't believe I let him do this to my baby. I can't believe I didn't know. I shouldn't be a mother. One son has all of this happen to him and another son gone living with George's parents in florida probably because of the same thing.
"Hey do you mind if I go to bed?" jim asked obviously exausted.
"Sweetie we really need to get you to a hospital. I'm pretty sure you have a couple broken ribs."
He groaned so dramatically she almost smiled. He had always hated hospitals. Despite his protests he quickly got dressed and followed her to the car. He seemed more subdued than normal, usually he was so animated and mischievous it would have taken hours of fighting and escape attempts before a hospital visit, but right now he just accepted it. He moved like a zombie, flinched at any unexpected sound. It scared her. T
The hospital patched him up and set up appointments for both her and Jim to meet with a therapist in the next few days. Through it all Jim barely spoke. He just stared off into space as if nothing were going on around him. A few times she tried to check on him. See if he was going to be okay but when ever she asked he just nodded still not looking up or seeming anymore present in his mind.
When they got back home he went to his room without a word. She started to follow but he shut and locked the door. After a while, figuring he was probably asleep by now she went to her room and opened up her communicator dialing the only person she could think of.
"Pike here."
"Chris I-" She heard a sob escape her throat.
"I'll be right there Nona." She smiled through her tears as she heard the nickname George had always used. Christopher Pike beamed directly into her bed room and armed and looking extremely worried.
"You didn't have to come that fast. Did you just beam to my house with a phaser set to kill out and ready to shoot?" She laughed a bit trying to get the tears under control.
"You sounded devastated. I figured someone was hurt or dead or needed to be one of the two. What's wrong Nona?"
"I'm not fit to be a mother. I came home to- oh god and he tried to tell me but I didn't- three years Chris." She sobbed unable to finish some sentences and barely mumbling the rest.
"Winona. Stop breathe. Don't try to explain until you can. I'm here I'm not in any hurry. Just tell me what you can. When you can, and I will see what I can do, but I promise you whatever happened is not your fault."
Slowly She told him what she came home to find, the extent of his injuries, and his weird behavior as well. When she finished he looked close to murder. He explained that none of it was her fault other than not looking into it when Jim brought it up, but who wants to believe that of someone they care for, and calmed her down telling her Jim would recover and that she was meeting with his therapist tomorrow and he would be the next day. They talked about the situation until the sun started to rise.
"I can't stay here Chris. I can't make Jim stay here either. This house is tainted, hell this whole town is. This is the last night either of us are sleeping here."
"That's not surprising. I can get you a starfleet apartment in San Francisco for now and you can figure out what you want to do permanently. You have six months leave already approved. Figure out what you want. Both where you want to be and if you want to continue with starfleet. If you need more time let me know I'll make it happen." She hugged him in relief.
"I hate to do this but you should go. I don't think having a man in the house would be good for Jim even if it's someone like you that he trusts."
He nodded and left leaving Winona to fall asleep to her self destructive thoughts.
PIKE
Chris hated leaving Winona in that state, but he knew she was right. Besides he had work to do. More like people to take care of. His brain added darkly. Frank Donovan had been a thorn in his side for years. He never liked the way Frank had talked to Winona and the boys even less, but it wasn't his place to say anything. He was just a family friend, but he loved Winona and he thought of those boys almost as sons. He had been George's best friend, that in itself meant he would do anything for them, but beyond that he had loved Nona for years. He had actually introduced the two of them. Losing her to George was one thing. George had always been good to her and he would have been an amazing father, but scum like Frank never should have touched her. He should have made his interest known earlier but he always worried it was too soon after George even five plus years later.
He shook his head to clear the thoughts of love and lost friends. The past is over all I can do now is make sure that creep never gets near them again. He had called all the best lawyers in the country. If he had his way that piece of shit would never see daylight again. And we all know what happens in prison to people who hurt children. He won't last long at all.
JIM
Jim knew his mom had been up all night with Pike, he appreciated the thought when she had him leave, but it wouldn't have mattered. Chris being there wouldn't have made the numbness that overcame his brain when he realized he wouldn't have to deal with one more day of Frank go away. It wouldn't have made him worse or better. Right now he just existed and sometimes he wasn't even sure of that. Sometimes it felt like this was all a dream that was going to be ripped away from him by clammy hands touching where they shouldn't. Other times he would just check out completely and for a while it was like there was no Jim Kirk.
He snuck out the front door while his mom was sleeping. He knew he shouldn't and that it would worry her even more, but he needed to not be in that house. He needed to run. No what he really needed was even faster than that. Sneaking back inside he grabbed the keys to his father's old corvette. Maybe this will make me feel real. Sam had kind of taught him how to drive once how hard could it be it's a couple of petals and a steering wheel. He started up the car and peeled out of the driveway. Through town he tried to be slow and careful but as soon as he was away he started speeding up to dangerous levels. He saw flashing lights behind him. No no no no no I can't go to jail Frank is in jain. Panic tore through the numbness that had overtaken him the night before. To his left he noticed a cliff in the distance. Sharply he turned the car in that direction, speeding up even more. The cliff got closer and closer and he didn't know if he wanted to go over with the car or not. The adrenaline pumping through his veins as he sped towards death. At the last second he jumped out of the car barely making it before the car went off the cliff.
The cops skidded to a stop before they reached the edge and practically jumped out of the car.
"What the hell are you doing kid!" One shouted before he realized that Jim had curled up on the ground crying his eyes out. The other shushed him before slowly walking over to Jim.
"I don't wanna go to jail I don't wanna go to jail." Jim repeated over and over tears streaming down his cheeks. The cops noticed the bruises around his throat and realized that this must be the kid who was hurt by the guy they brought in last night.
"Hey hey shush it's okay we just want to take you home. We aren't taking you to jail." She said in a soothing voice slowly trying to approach him at the edge of the cliff. He calmed down at her words and allowed himself to be led away from the cliff and into the cop car. No one talked until the reached his house during the drive his adrenaline wore off and the numbness came back over taking his mind and leaving him a zombie to the rest of the world.
When they left his mom came in to his room and sat next to him on the bed. She looked like she had been crying again.
"Jim-" She started looking unsure how to proceed, "What were you doing?" She said in a soft tone like she was worried more than angry. He didn't know how to react so he just shrugged. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" He shrugged again. He didn't even know the answer to that how was he supposed to give her an answer. She sighed.
"I have an appointment in an hour. In light of what just happened you have a couple choices because I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone. I can either call Chris to keep you company and if it would make you feel more comfortable one of his female crew members could come too, or you can sit in the waiting room. It's your choice whatever would make you more comfortable."
"Chris is fine. I trust him. I'll be in my room anyway."
"Okay, but start packing we aren't staying here tonight. Chris is getting us set up in starfleet apartments for now and then we will decide what we want to do."
He nodded he had already started after he heard them talking this morning before Chris left. He had never liked this house and now he hated it every place had a foul memory attached to it. He heard his mom call Chris and closed his door to start packing.
