Goddamnit. This is the worst thing ever, folks, don't read it.
...
Naomi massaged her temples as she dropped Seiko's head. She let out a growl.
"Son of a bitch!" she shouted. Seiko spurted out blood onto her. "Ayumi is the worst class rep in history. I guess the Shinozaki philosophy is 'If spooky shit got us into this mess, spooky shit can get us out!' Everyone who holds that name should be hogtied and thrown into an inferno."
Sachiko floated out upon hearing this. Yeah, you read that correctly. She floated. We all know ghosts can fly, girl, you don't prove anything by showing it off, you fucking goof.
"Das raycis!" Sachiko proclaimed. "As a proud Shinozaki, I tell you we dindu nuffin."
Naomi was rather perterbed.
"You paranormal prick!" she yelled, swingly wildly at Sachiko. "Why'd you kill her? She was the only that complimented my breasts!"
Sachiko smiled. "Technically, you killed her. Also, you're in a time loop, so it's going to keep happening."
Naomi let out a shriek.
"Technically, I'll put your balls in a blender and make you drink it!"
"You can't do that. Time loop. Nothing you do can change."
With those words, Morishige intervened.
"Actually, Sachiko, that's incorrect!"
Sachiko turned around, horrified that a man would disagree with her. She was going to make sure he paid for his mansplaining.
"You see, Sachiko, the position of an electron is completely random. Scientists would call it a 'total quantum fuck' because they can't predict anything about subatomic quantum cotton candy physics, or something like that?"
Sachiko's face reddened. "Why should I care about your stupid quantum physics?!"
"Because, little girl, it means your time loop is bullshit. Even if you send us back in time perfectly and wipe our memories, which you clearly didn't do because Naomi remembered hanging Seiko. But, even if you do it perfectly and every particle in the universe is exactly the same as it was the last time we were here, quantum randomness allows for things to change each time. We'll appear in different closed spaces, and since you suck, we'll have deja vu every time. You simply can't have a flawless time loop, and if you don't like it, send a complaint the atoms."
Sachiko couldn't believe it. Morishige was right.
"B-But, muh black magic!"
Morishige chuckled. "Oh, you silly thing. Do I need to prove it to you?
Sachiko watched in terror as Morishige removed a device from his pocket and pulled a nitrogen atom out of the air.
"Well, I'm about to make a completely random decision. If this electron has an energy state that's parallel to the triangle gamma, I'm going to take off my glasses. Whether I perform that act or not can freely change throughout the time loop, because it's decided with true randomness. Oh, it looks like I'm taking off my glasses, and since my Stand is bound to my glasses, that means your time is up."
Sachiko lunged at Morishige, but his power was too much. He was going to activate his Stand, and she couldn't stop him.
"I'll give you a learning and you'll be burning..." Morishige boomed, tossing his glasses to the floor.
His energy shook the room.
"I'll teach you and I'll beat you..."
He began to glow.
"I'll educate you and it'll devistate you..."
A college professer appeared before Moroshige.
"Because my Stand, The Professor, is greater than all others!"
Sachiko was defeated. She had been scienced and couldn't fight back anymore. As she faded from reality, she delivered her last, pitiful line: "Was that a JoJo reference?"
