Hey Guys, trying to get back active on here. Just a story I wanted to share with you guys. I initially posted on wattled but I think I'll continue it her. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks for reading :) Oh and btw their is some Outlaw Queen but SQ is definitely end game.

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"She looks happy though" Emma sighed into her almost empty glass. She and Ruby had been out for drinks, in celebration of Ruby getting her first job out from under her grandmothers wing. It was a receptionist gig she got through a temp agency but for her it was enough. So if it was enough for her best friend then it was enough for Emma, especially if that gave them an excuse to drunk during a weekday.

"Yea look at her. Out at a bar with out her lumberjack shoe in! You should go and actually talk to her before lumber boy slinks in from somewhere Ems, you can't avoid having a conversation forever!" Ruby said gesturing her hands wildly. "God knows she's all you think about" she said taking a swig of her beer.

"We do talk, quite frequently actually. Kind of hard not to when we work together" the blonde said to her ever ambitious friend.

"If by talk you mean skate around what really needs to be said? Then yea you guys talk alright."

Emma rolled her eyes and continued to look over at Regina, looking perfect as usual. Her and Regina had an odd relationship. For most being civil with the closed off, sometimes snappy woman would suffice but for Emma and anyone else who knew their history it was just saddening.

In 3rd grade when Regina was deemed (by herself) princess of the playground she had allowed only a select few into her playground fortress at recess. Halfway through the school year almost all the kids stuck to playing on the east side play ground with no swings, taking their turns at tether ball, or pretending to know how to play foursquare, instead of risking going by the mini feisty brunette's self acclaimed fortress. Then came Emma. With all the life and spontaneity of a short tempered eight-year-old, Emma decided when she arrived near the school years' end that she wanted to play in Regina's fortress and she wasn't going to let anyone tell her otherwise.

"What are you doing?" The oddly fierce for a eight-year-old sneered at the lanky blonde swinging not only in her fortress but on her favorite swing.

"I'm swinging duh" Emma giggled at the girl. "You can swing to if ya want."

"I know I can this is my playground and I didn't say you can come in, only my friends can!" Regina said angry in only a way a bossy third grader could be

Emma looked around to the one other girl who was on the playground beside Regina. Noticing she must've not had many friends. Emma didn't have many friends either, actually none. Nobody wanted to befriend the girl who came at the end of the year. She could thank her last foster family's indecisiveness for that one. So the young blonde decided that she would make Regina her friend, if only to say she made one for once. "Well I'm your new friend then" the tall blonde stood from the swing and hugged the mini brunette as if they were best friends for years at the time.

"Okay, I guess. I do like your shoes" Regina said looking down at Emma's purple converse.

They were inseparable from that day forward for many years. Best friends all through out grade school and up into college. Every important milestone they had been there for one another.

When Emma was younger, lashed out at her foster parents and ran off it was Regina's house she'd run to if nothing but to sit in silence with her until she calmed down, went home and apologized. When Regina couldn't take the constant berating from her mother it was Emma she would meet down by the docks and talk to. They would talk of the future, past, present, everything down by those docks until Emma was sure that Regina knew how great she was and yet to be and could stand facing her mother again. Emma even escorted Regina to their senior prom when her date bailed on her last minute. She hadn't planned on going to the dance but when she showed up to be apart of the champagne party and saw her friend with her face cradled in her hands she knew she couldn't let her friend miss the dance that'd she had been planning for since freshman year. "Guess my senior thesis power suit will have to do" the blonde said when she pulled her friend to her feet. "Hopefully tonight is better than the grade I got on that presentation" she mumbled. "Idiot" Regina said smiling at the blonde not for the first time that night. The same night that they made a pact to always be friends no matter what happened for them after graduation.

They were always there for one another until they weren't. The summer before their senior year at Boston University had been one to remember. Filled with cautious actions, soft touches, kisses, and loving words between the two. The pair had their sexuality figured out since about sophomore year in high school when they both realized which half of Brad-Gelina they liked more, despite Regina refusing to come out to her parents, only close friends fearful of the consequences. But exploring those feelings with each other was new and exciting for the pair. After spending weeks out at Regina's family lake house for three weeks they discovered the true feelings they hosted for one another and went with it. They were supposed to be out at the house with their small circle of friends but the four others had left after the first week unknowingly to Regina's parents who were sponsoring the trip in honor of Regina getting early acceptance to law school.

On their last week there they had decided to take their new found romance to the next level. It was loving, soft and tentative. Everything each girl had imagined it would be until Regina's mother walked in and snatched Regina off of Emma. Emma protested as the woman forced clothes onto Regina and forced her into a town car. She had cried for Regina that entire night and left to home the next morning after not getting one response from the brunette the night previous. She showed up at the girl's front door after another day of no responses. When the door was opened Regina's icy "Hello" chilled Emma to her core.

"Thank God I thought you were unconscious somewhere" Emma said trying to pull the girl in for a hug but was stopped by a hand to the chest.

"What the hell? What's going on Gina?" Emma stared at the brunette with a familiar fear of rejection in her eyes.

"What happened these past few weeks was a mistake Emma" Regina said.

"Emma? What happened to Em?" Emma cut her off, "You haven't called me Emma in years."

"As I was saying Emma, what happened between us was a mistake. It shouldn't have had happened. I'm sorry for leading you on this past month, really for years now" Regina said distantly.

Emma was trying her best not to believe a word that was coming from her best friend's mouth. She knew it had to be a joke of some sort, she couldn't be being rejected by the one person who promised to never turn her away. She couldn't be being disowned by the only person she's ever truly wanted to belong to. Regina couldn't be doing this to her, not after everything.

"What do you mean a mistake? Okay maybe we moved too fast these last few weeks but years? We just crossed this bridge, what are you talking about?" Emma was trying not to cry and failing.

"Exactly what I said. A mistake. Shouldn't have happened. Ever. For years you have been holding me back from my full potential and unfortunately I've just know realized it. I wish for you to not be apart of my life anymore" the brunette said shakily as if she couldn't believe what was coming out of her own mouth.

"No, no, no- please Gina just talk to me. Actually speak with me, I know that witch has gotten in your head" Emma said crying. "You know what I'll give you some time to chill out and I'll-I'll come back and we-we can, can talk o-okay? Because I-I know you love me, best friends for life remember?" the blonde said stuttering as she often did while either nervous or crying which were both taking hold.

"Don't bother coming back Emma. Were done okay? I'm moving past your small beginnings going forward. You'll only hold me back. Don't be so childish as to think, with the direction were going that we could truly remain friends. Come near me and you'll regret it" the brunette said once again distant. Emma suspected it had something to do with the frigid woman who was unfortunately her mother Cora standing next to her.

"You heard her dear. You are nothing more than the filth you were raised in. You could never belong with Regina. Now be gone. Go on home to your equally disgusting mother, excuse me, adoptive mother." Cora said slamming the door

"Okay, I'll call you Gina later so we can talk. Okay?!" Emma shouted, ignoring what Cora had just said, walking off.

That couldn't be how Regina truly felt, even if her mom was pulling her strings. Regina would fight for her like she always did, because she loved Emma.

"She'll fight for me. She'll explain when I call her" Emma mumbled to herself as she got in her yellow bug and drove off.

She was in denial that the cold person who just stood before her was her Regina so she called her. She called her for days and days, weeks and weeks until eventually the number was disconnected.

She hurt. She hurt for months on end. She grieved the loss of a romance that hadn't properly started. She grieved for a bond built on years of loyalty and friendship. She grieved for a loved one lost. Mostly she just grieved for Regina. She grieved for her Regina because she knew she was lost to her.

Ruby helped her as best as she could through the next year or so until Emma hardened enough to numb the feelings. Emma only allowed herself to break three times in the last 10 years since that horrible day. Once when she graduated and saw Regina with Robin for the first time, kissing the brunette congratulations. The second time was when she heard news of the engagement while she was in the police academy and the third time when she saw the brunette for the first time in 9 years with her in the mayor's office officiating the brunette as the new ADA.

That led them to here and now. Emma still without answers and Regina obviously reluctant to giving them.

"I don't need to have a conversation with her Rubes. That was ten years ago and I'm over it. It clearly isn't stressing her out either. We keep it short for work and that's it we don't need any heart to hearts or cumbias okay? I'm fine."

"Ems you're not fine okay but if you don't want to talk now I can't make you" Ruby said sincerely. She then giggled taking a swing from her beer "But I'm not dropping this forever because I swear if you hook up with another short haired, brunette and brown eyed Latina who favors fall lipstick shades I'm going to call her Regina until she gets freaked out and leaves the apartment! No more carbon copy Regina's, your torturing yourself."

"I do not date carbon copy Regina's" Emma rolled her eyes and brought her attention back to Ruby.

"You're right you don't date anybody. You just hook up repeatedly, forgive me for my miss wording" the brunette said sarcastically.

It was mostly true. The only serious relationship that the blonde had been in since college was with a woman named Mallory who she had dated for three years. It was great even though now that she thinks back on it Mallory had a strong resemblance to Regina. Guess I do have a type Emma thought to herself. Mallory wanted to settle down with a house, kids, and a dog too soon for Emma and they ultimately decided to end it. They just didn't want the same things. Not on bad terms as the two are still friends to this day and Emma is Mallory's daughter Eliza God Mom. She even occasionally goes out with Mallory and her wife Rachel. Crazy how her relationships either end extremely badly or really well.

"I don't need long term right now. Okay, mom? Good God you sound like Mary-Margaret" Emma said. "Plus, I don't see you settling down and last time I checked you were the same age as me."

"It's not my choice to be single, okay? It's just no one can tame the wolf inside me" Ruby said waggling her eyebrows. "Once I find a proper suitor then all will be well."

"Okay Rubes, whatever you say" Emma said laughing. She looked over to where a man was approaching the bar and sighed.

"What is it?" Ruby questioned until she looked behind her and saw Robin. "So much for lumber ass not showing up" she rolled her eyes.

Emma sighed again. He was a pretty attractive guy if she was honest with herself. Attractive in a I'm married to your dream girl kind of way. He wasn't actually a lumber jack but he owned a chain of outdoor activity equipment stores and thought it appropriate to dress like a lumber ass hat most of the time. He wasn't too shabby but Regina could definitely do better. She didn't particularly hate Robin. She just strongly disliked him. She figured it was normal to have strong feelings of dislike towards a man who started dating the source of your heart break only two weeks after you fell out with them. Completely natural to accidently key his car when you got the chance and completely natural to have a patrolling friend or two check for his workplace permits more than necessary. Completely normal.

"Can I have a draft and glass of merlot my good man" he said to the bartender and placed his dues down. He looks over to Ruby and Emma and smiles "Hello Ruby, Emma" he nods as he grabs the drinks he ordered.

"Hey" Emma and Ruby say monotonously in unison.

Robin thankfully takes that as a hint that neither of them are interested in communication and he makes his way over to where Regina is sitting.

Emma watches him as he places their drinks down and slides in the booth beside the brunette. Even after all the time that has passed it still hurts a twinge in her heart to see Regina with someone else. It especially hurts because she looks mostly happy. Emma thinks mostly because sometimes she sees a look of longing in the brunette's eyes when she thinks no one watching or sometimes she sees the brunette flinch away from one of Robins touches. Sometimes she thinks she's imagining it but most times she knows she's not.

It always leads her to thinking what if? What if Regina never disowned her and their romance had the opportunity to grow and blossom into the beauty it surely would have became? What if they were truly meant to be with each other? Or what if it didn't work but they remained best friends? If Regina still found Robin and got married Emma doesn't know if she would've been able to fully grasp it but she would have tried. She would have tried for her best friend if only to still have an important role in her life. If only to still know how she took her eggs, what her biggest fear is, what her favorite flavor yogurt is, if she still wanted children, what her favorite song is and every large or menial thing in between. Emma once knew all those things, she once knew everything but if its one thing she's learned the past ten years it was that things changed, life changed. Although after all that's happened Emma should hate Regina for what she did to her she can't find it in her to. She still holds resentment for the brunette though, not understanding how she could hurt her so, not understanding how she could lie and say she loved her and leave, not understanding how she can see her multiple times a week and act like they once weren't each others world but she mostly pushes those feelings down. She pushes them down along with the part of her that still yearns to be a bigger piece than work associate in the brunette's life and she pushes down the hope that the brunette feels that way deep down inside too.

"Em are you even listening" Ruby says waving her hand in front of Emma's face.

"Sorry what'd you say Rubes?" The blonde was snapped from her thoughts.

"I said we should go get some tacos from that truck by your house before its down for the night" the brunette said seriously. Ruby loved tacos and Emma assumed if she disagreed the brunette would go on her own.

"Yea that's sounds cool just let me go use the bathroom and I'll be out" she said getting off her stool and walking towards the back where the restrooms were.

She noticed Regina and Robin now absent from their previous spots as she walked back and when she walked into the restroom she heard a familiar voice coming from the furthest stall down.

"No he's out in the car waiting for me. I don't know if I can Kathryn, but I don't love him anymore. I never really did" Regina was crying obviously on the phone with someone named Kathryn.

"Okay, you're right. I'm right. I'm going to do it. I have to. Alright, bye."

Emma probably shouldn't have heard that and as she heard the lock on the stall turn signaling the brunettes exit she dashed back out of the bathroom her full bladder forgotten.

"That was fast" Ruby said as they walked out the bar.

"Yea" said Emma shakily trying to put together the pieces of a bit of conversation that she shouldn't have even heard.

"I hope you washed your hands" Ruby said laughing.

"Shut up" Emma said opening the door to her car and sliding in.