They'd been having problems for a few weeks. Ever since Niall had kidnapped his younger brother and tortured him along with the rest of their siblings, John Paul had been distancing himself from Craig. It wasn't that he was intentionally pushing Craig away, but John Paul couldn't forget what had happened to Tina and the rest of his family.

So Craig thought perhaps a few days apart would help. Give them each some time to get themselves together and then they could get on with their lives. But Niall persisted and once again tried to wreck their lives.

Craig had never been so scared in his life. When Sarah found out about him and John Paul it had been bad, when he'd had to come clean to his family it had been awkward, but never in all his years had he felt such raw terror as when Niall pressed that knife to his throat. It wasn't fear for his own life though. It was fear for John Paul. Of all the people who deserved a happy ending, John Paul was top of the list, but somehow things kept getting in the way and Craig hadn't told him just how much he loved him before he left.

Niall was whispering words in his ear, Steph was cowering in front of the chair, trying to comfort him, but everything simply washed over him. All he could think about was the man in Dublin who would be waiting for him to come home. Always waiting. He couldn't leave John Paul waiting. He'd done that for too long already.

Craig phoned home from the station just outside Hollyoaks. John Paul sounded fairly calm though Craig had the feeling that he was probably crumbling inside. When he finally made it back to Dublin, Craig was hardly through the door when John Paul's arms were round him, hugging him tightly.

"Are you ok?" John Paul asked worriedly, pulling far enough back to look at Craig carefully, his fingers ghosting the dressing on Craig's cheek.

"I'm fine," Craig said, but he sighed when he caught the doubtful look on John Paul's face. "Ok, I'm not fine. But I'm still here."

John Paul still didn't look too happy, but then, Craig supposed, when your secret older brother has killed your previous lover, your sister and then tries to murder your current partner, you'll generally be a little bit unhappy.

"I missed you," John Paul said finally.

"I missed you too," Craig said a small smile creeping up his face. He kissed John Paul softly. "Come on. I could use a cup of tea."

Locking the door firmly behind them, Craig dumped his bag down in the hall and followed John Paul towards the kitchen.

*

Later that evening when they were lying in bed together, Craig propped himself up on one elbow, threading his fingers through John Paul's hair.

"I was so scared," he said after a while, surprising himself with the slightly wobbly tone to his voice.

"I know," John Paul replied. "So was I when he kidnapped me."

"But it was worse than that," Craig wiped his face as the first few tears fell. "Because I realised whilst I was sat tied to that chair that I hadn't told you that I love you."

"Yes you had," John Paul frowned slightly. "You tell me all the time."

"But not before I left," Craig shook his head. "When I left... we weren't even talking. If I'd died... I would never have been able to tell you how much I love you."

John Paul propped himself up on his own elbow, watching Craig sadly. He pulled the other man close and kissed him.

"I know exactly how you feel," he said.

"I really do love you," Craig assured him. "More than I thought possible."

"I love you too," John Paul replied.

Craig smiled weakly. He didn't deserve John Paul. Two years on and off and it was only now that he realised truly just how lucky he was to have John Paul as anything close to a best friend, let alone partner.