A/N - i own nothing

Some days I feel like I am the only sane one on the planet, other times I feel like I must be the most stupidest fucking bitch on two legs. Today was one of these days, as I was confronted with the depth of my foolishness, shit for brains should be tattooed across my forehead, to give others a fair warning before approaching me. Sam had always been a bastard, but he was family. How could he do this? I shouldn't have gone to his house. The police hadn't let him go, he wasn't innocent. He had killed them. He had killed of those New species. If they would just check the file, they would know she wasn't Sam. But no one was listening.

The entire situation was both laughable and cry-able… if that was even a word….fuck it, it's a word, someone inform Harvard. The sentries on either side of me looked about as cheerful as a straight faced emoji – was looking like an asshole part of the job description for all enforcement around the world? Seriously bro, why do they all look like someone's just thrown a pie on their goddamn faces and its sliding down slowing in gloppy clumps? You're not amused I get it but Jesus H Christ someone please tell these people a joke before dear lord their face turns to stone. Maybe it was in the government textbook under 'Dick-face'. Note to self: google that shit.

Let me talk! I wanted to yell but the contraption in my mouth wouldn't budge. Not even a squeak left my lips.

We entered the prison elevator, the delightful elevator music one of creaking gears and suspicious clangs. Oh yeah, this was some upper class quality shit right here. If I die in this elevator I am going to be pissed, God's complaint centre will be hella full by the time I'm done. Oh no, I was going out cool like – not like a fiery car crash or anything to do with explosions, life sacrificing or any other B-grade movie death-scene stereotypes– nah man I was die'n with a spiked manga tango smoothie in one hand and a romance novel in the other, sitting on a beach, in the shade, listening to the waves. I never liked the idea of getting old, had decided I wasn't going to do the whole 'elderly' thing. The moment I was too old to live alone, was the day I was too old for my bucket to remain un-kicked -if you catch my drift- and I wasn't afraid of using my own foot. Prison though? Nah nah nah. Not happening. My mind raced on how to get myself out of this cluster fuck of a mess.

Astonishingly we got to the top – a feat I was sure had paranormal help – the doors opening as smoothly as a rusty nail grating painfully over a chalkboard. Classy. There was a green light above that illuminated my spiked blood black hair, a fashion choice that was not a choice but in fact a peer pressured stunt that had cost me my pale blonde hair in favour for a punk rock look that made me feel like the female personification of 'LOL wouldn't it be funny'. After graduation I had wanted change, something to mark that my life was progressing when all I felt was stagnant. Anyway blah blah teenage angst blah blah voldka and tada new hairstyle. No I don't want to talk about it.

This was all a mistake any ways and once they realised that soon they were going to let me go….holy shit do I sound naive right now. Oh yeah I was royally screwed. Fuck- their probably going to just lock me up and ill never see my family ever again…I waited for panic to overcome thyself…

The lack of sorrow I felt was tragic at that moment. I never wanted to see many family ever again after this. Betrayal was hard to swallow. He had known they would take her. I was sure of it.

There was in eerie silence in the reception area (…?) where it was obvious people checked into the Hotel de Jail. When we walked passed the entrance, like an ironic royal trumpet a loud buzzer blared, trapped by white walls it king-hit every ear resinating like a twanging guitar string. Tone that shit down. It's not like the orange jump suite doesn't stand out or anything no-one needed a theme tune to announce their entrance.

Unlike a hotel however the lady at the desk was neither happy to greet us nor looked like she gave a crap whether I had a nice stay. To say this woman appeared slightly offended was to say her hair was only slightly orange (I refuse to call people with orange hair redheads get a Dulex colour chart and get it the fuck right). This one was a flamer and boy she looked ready to toast the nearest person to her, so why are we heading straight to her? I wanted to ask my guards but restrained myself ever so graciously.

However instead of stopping in front of Fire Ball Ginger my guards handed her a folder out of nowhere and kept walking. I watched her go past, as surprised as she was, that we continued on without a single misstep. In the reflection of the small glass window to my left on a door that said 'strip search' I caught a tiny glimpse of her face going pale as she frowned down at the folder reading quickly. Snapping it closed she hurried over to the side of the office, now more startled than anything. I more heard than saw her hand slap the button that appeared to open the bared door in front of us. Just in time too otherwise we would have walk straight into it. That would have been smooth.

With a sense of ignorance and superiority, that for some reason really ticked me off, the bars smoothly closed behind their backs unaware and uncaring of whom it trapped inside.

The guards posted at the entrance of the second doorway all wore Fuller Prison guard uniforms. Dark gloomy grey, how fucking cheerful. I glanced behind me. Another set of guard in the same uniform. Oh look honey they match! So did their faces. No humour, not even a flicker. Tough crowd.

We stopped in front of the centre guard that looked as though he were the commander or captain or something you known the Disney princess to the kingdom or some shit.

The escorting guard on my left for the first time looked directly at me. I had misread the asshole, he wasn't being stoic out of indifference, he was trying to hide pity. And that was what finally made the terror I had been hiding swell. Damn him. I tightened my jaw and looked away first. I prided myself on the fact that I didn't look back once as what felt like my security, left me alone returning as swiftly as they had come.

"Do you know where you are girl?" A man in the far corner spoke quietly.

I looked at him mockingly then grinned. At first he stiffened, before realising I was showing him I had mouth restraints in that prevented me from talking. Genius. My jaw hurt like a bitch for having them in for so long, but nothing compared to the pain when he gripped my chin and slid them out oh so gently with such considering for my wellbeing…not.

"Shit!" I cursed rubbing my jaw. "It's okay, I'm sure I won't need a jaw again."

My assurances didn't seem to do much.

"Do. You. Know. Where. You. Are."

"Fuller prison. I heard you the first time." I snapped rubbed my face as it pulsed.

"No, you're not."

"You're in hell. We have no compassion for Mercile employees here." He said gently as if breaking my own death to me.

I had expected yelling and snarling. But his soft voice was far more alarming. I noticed that unlike the others he didn't wear a gun holster, either his weapon was hidden or he didn't need one. I glanced at his fingers, lean but strong. His voice was controlled, as if every articulation was a demonstration in his power. Life and death seemed to rest on his shoulders and it glinted in his eyes like smoke from a smothered fire. Frown lines creased his brow, a lifetime of deep contemplation marked in the lines of his face. This man had seen many dark things. To call this hell…I knew somehow that he wasn't lying.

"Might want to get a new uniform. Very misleading." I snapped sarcastically. Fear was a bitch and it howled inside me. Fortunately, I have anger issues.

"Listen, I'm not supposed to be here. This is all a misunderstanding. You see no one has let me explain, my brother is-" I tried to reason with him. I didn't know whether I was imagining it but I thought I saw a wavering of doubt in his face.

"Do you or do you not work for Mercile?" He quipped in a voice that said not to bother lying.

"Yes. But I didn-" I conceded after a long pause. I cursed so foully in my head, if spoken aloud anything living would have weltered. All doubt seemed to dissipate from his mind, discarded at my words. He turned his back motioning for the guards to take her not letting her finish.

"New Species don't agree to lock up young women easily. You must have done something very extreme. You really made a mistake when you decided to work for Mercile." He shook his head decisively, as if he was reminding himself.

"Put her in high security B2 block." He marched out the room. One of them men flickered his eyes toward their commander as if in surprise, then stared at her. He quickly recovered though grabbing her restraints.

"Yes sir."

"No you don't understand my-" The silencer was placed in my mouth again. NO!

They grabbed me and shoved me forward into another elevator on the other side of the room that I hadn't seen. We went down…down…down. Clank. I tried to frantically convey what my mouth couldn't tell them. They wouldn't look at me.

The lights were dim, cages lining each wall, it was quiet though I could feel eyes on me. Intelligent eyes. Curious eyes. Deadening eyes. Dead eyes.

The smell was antiseptic like a hospital the look of it like a dungeon. Cages lined each wall, fifty or so stared at her in various positions. There was a single cell empty, right in the middle. There was a toilet, a bed and a scratchy looking blanket. And lovely looking bare concrete everywhere, basement chic at its finest. I was shoved forward, but I just couldn't do it. Up until that point I had been a lost tourist trying to find my way back. Here…. here brought the full realities of how much I was fucked. Super fucked. Like reealllly…you get the point.

My foot caught on the cage entrance, I couldn't enter not even when they shoved. I turned in a last ditch effort. Unlike before I had all of their attention. But they weren't listening. Like a wall had lifted from their faces, I saw the devil marked in each of their expression. Some of them smiled viciously with their bodies tilted back so I could see the door, as if they were taunting me to try and escape. A man in one of the cages came into view as he put his hands on the cage. His face and body was covered in bruises. He winced as he stared at her, as if in sympathy before backing out of the faint light. My eyes flickered up to the guards. One of them reached out to stroke my jaw, I was frozen with shock. I could feel his brazed knuckles that looked red. I stared into his eyes in horror.

"Don't look at me like that little girl. You're the monster here, not us. We are just getting a bit of payback for our New Species friends." He grunted.

He didn't care about New Species, it was just an excuse. He barely covered his sarcasm. I had to try. I managed to get one leg into a man's crouch but my knee bone only found a hard plate. I didn't care. This wasn't how this was supposed to end, I was supposed to be set free, a misunderstanding. I broke free and ran, in what direction I didn't know. The guard at the end was in my way, I don't know what my plan was but I drew my shoulder down as if I was going to barge a fully grown man out of the way…

Okay so here's how that went down. My cheek now has a bruise that sexily trails from my broken nose to my ear – impressive really for a single blow. My uniform had been changed to an ugly beige that did nothing for my pale skin – a disaster I know – and the only 'silver lining' that I could see was the fact that I didn't have a cell mate. Hell they couldn't even fit another person in here if they tried. The dark lining that completely engulfed my silver lining however was the fact that there were no walls. No privacy. Barely light to see. I hadn't moved where I woke up. I stared at the ceiling where a small glint of light from the roof allowed me to see my fuzzy reflection.

"I don't recognise her." Male voices murmured around me, but I didn't care.

"Neither." A chorus sounded.

"Must have done something pretty fucked up for them to put a female here." Someone murmured.

"So young too." Another agreed.

"She looks barely older than a teenager." Astonishment could be heard in another's.

It's rude to talk about someone, not to them. I went to open my mouth, but discovered I couldn't. They hadn't taken out the silencer. Double shit.

"What's you name child?" He asked. I turned my head to the left. I had always hated neighbours. I had thought Mrs Frudgy was always in my business, a whole new definition was becoming apparent in my mind.

I didn't respond. Couldn't with the silencer in my mouth they had forgotten to take out. I felt like laughing, heretical laughter of course just for the occasion, but I withheld not wanting them to stop talking. They were a distraction, not a good one. But it would do.

"Why are you here?" He probed.

Because life is a bitch, fate her mistress and I am the whipping post. I closed my eyes wanting to snort for the irony. I would do anything for my family, I had said before that I would die for them. But I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to live in suffering because of them. Betrayal stung at my heart, as I slowly put together the pieces. The questions that the men asked fell on deaf ears. But the silence fell on a pained heart like blades.

I would describe to you how time passed slowly yet timeless, but I'm not into the stereotypical bullshit. I could tell you that I know longer know what it's like not to be sore from a hard bed and harder hands that beat at me occasionally or perhaps it was often. It was neither here nor there. But I'm not going to tell you about the hands that fell accidently below my waist. Nor the nights where only my inner humming voice could block the nightmares. I never made a sound. Many in other cages thought I was brave and could stand a lot of pain without breaking…but I had broken. I had shattered any times roughly glued the together again, only to be shattered again. The guards took turns in trying to make me squeal through the silencer, wanted to see how long it would be until it failed. I was in a cage full of monsters I knew that for certain. The way they spoke about New Species and the things they bragged about were sickening. But here we were the animals they had created. I suppose that was the point. But the guards had no mercy, the guards were what tormented me. I had fought at first, screamed and yelled in my mind

Bones that hadn't been set properly twinged occasionally now. They hadn't gotten bored. But they didn't want to break my body's delicate hold on life. My thumb didn't work properly any more, but I could still use it to brush the hair from my eyes.

"What's your name?" He asked me every night. Or so it seemed it was hard to tell. It must have been a thousand times that he had asked. I don't know why he was so curious.

If I had a voice, I would have answered him.

It was strange fully staring at him now as I had only done on my first night. I noticed the signs of age on his face and wondered how long it had been. A question I didn't want the answer to. I turned my head to stare once again at the ceiling. Still staring at that one small flicker of light. My own face had aged, my skin now even paler my hair falling below my hips carefully finger combed. What else was there to do around here.

I dreamt some nights of sunlight, I dreamt most nights of darkness. Or perhaps I dreamt nothing at all. I can't tell anymore. Today was like my first but never my last one long day that seemed to end every night, only to awaken like a cruel joke. I didn't think of kicking my bucket anymore, I thought of smashing it over of pounding the stupid bucket until my fists bled. Then came the anger so twisted now inside of me, it sat so heavy in my chest it suffocated at times my every thought. My every breath.

When a man stepped into my cell, I stood. Removed my beige jump suit and deftly twisted my hair on my head so as to keep it out the way. I walked back to the far end and held my hands up clutching at the wire spread. I bowed my head and waited.