Standing in front of the door, I can't help but let a sigh escape. I know exactly what's going to happen as soon as I'm on the other side of it. This relationship with Itachi started a while ago on a mission, as sort of a way to relieve sexual tension. When it first started, I thought that Itachi genuinely cared for me, that he wanted me for his own. But as the encounters continued, I realized he only likes my body. As far as Itachi is aware, I'm only interested in his body as well. But that's not true, I keep going to Itachi because I love him. I've never actually told him that, I'm too scared that he'll reject me and stop wanting me if I do. I don't want to lose what I have with him, even if it's only physical.
I knock lightly on the door and after a minute Itachi opens it.
"Deidara," he says, running a hungry, lust filled gaze over me, "I was wondering when you were gonna show up."
"Sorry," I say, a little upset that I'd kept him waiting, "It was a bit of a challenge to get passed Danna. You said to make sure no one suspected anything."
"I suppose I did," he says coldly, turning back to his room. "Come."
I silently follow him into his room and he closes the door. Itachi locks it, making sure that we won't be disturbed by anyone. Itachi closes the gap between us and starts to kiss down my neck. He never kisses me on the lips; he says that'd make it feel too personal. His hands tangle in my hair and pull as he sucks on various places on my neck; leaving purplish marks on my skin. Itachi's hands move from my hair and pull my cloak off. He lets it fall to the floor and pulls my shirt over my head. Dropping that, Itachi pulls his own cloak and shirt off and discards them as well. His gaze moves from me to the bed and I understand fully what he wants me to do. I move to the bed and lay down.
Itachi wastes no time in climbing on top of me and biting down on my collarbone. I bite my tongue to keep from crying out. Itachi likes it better when I'm quiet. Warm blood starts to run from the spot and Itachi continues to move down my body. He sucks on some spots leaving small purplish marks, bites down on others leaving large teeth marks. Itachi likes leaving marks on my body; it helps get him off.
He stops at my pantline, like he normally does, and sits up. Itachi pulls his pants and boxers off.
"You know what to do," he tells me and I move closer to him. Of course I know what to do, it's been the same since day one. I take the tip of Itachi's arousal into my mouth and Itachi wastes no time in burying himself deep in my throat. I'm so used to this I don't even gag anymore. I start to suck on him, but it's not like it matters. I usually just take a face fucking until he's ready to move on. And I'm right. Just like every other time, Itachi just thrusts blindly into my mouth. I don't move; even though it starts to hurt the back of my throat after a while. If I try to move away, Itachi will get mad. I don't want to upset him; all I want to do is make him feel good.
Itachi gets bored with my mouth after a while and pulls out of it. He quickly rids me of what remains of my clothes and I turn around. Itachi doesn't like looking me in the eye when he fucks me. I feel Itachi move close to me and I feel his arousal pressed against my entrance. He quickly buries himself in me with one hard thrust. Tears spring into my eyes but I don't cry out. Itachi wastes no time in fucking me hard and fast. It hurts so bad, I feel like I'm going to split in half. But it's always been like this, Itachi doesn't realize he's hurting me. Nor does he really care, all he cares about is his own pleasure.
But I'm happy to have this with him, even if it brings me nothing but pain. All that matters to me is that it makes him happy. Itachi tangles his hand in my hair and pulls hard on it. I grit my teeth to keep from crying out. Tears are gushing down my face in streams, I try my best to block out the pain but to no avail. After a while at this pace I feel something hot splash inside me and I realize Itachi came inside me. Happy that the pain is done with and Itachi is satisfied, I speak without thinking.
"Itachi," I gasp out as he pulls out of me, "I love you."
I suddenly realize what I just said and turn around to see anger cross Itachi's face. Pain crosses my face and I realize Itachi just hit me.
"Never say that again," he yells, "I don't love you. Never have, never will. Honestly, the only reason I keep this act up is because your body is fucking incredible."
"I..." I stutter, unsure of what to say.
"You are nothing but a sexual plaything Deidara," Itachi tells me, "The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be."
"I'm sorry," I manage to choke out, despite how hurt I am.
Itachi grabs a handful of my hair and pulls my head up so I'm looking at him.
"Never, and I mean never say those words around me again," he tells me, "Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand," I tell him weakly. Itachi tosses me to the floor and pain floods through me at the impact.
"Get dressed and get out," he orders, "I'll tell you when I'm ready for you again."
Itachi pulls a blanket up and rolls over. I silently obey and walk around the room; picking up my clothes and putting them on as I find them. Why do I keep letting this happen? Why can't I say no to Itachi? Why did I have to fall for him? Questions like this fill my head, but I don't have any answers for them. I wish I knew why I kept doing this, or why I fell for Itachi in the first place but I just don't know. Once fully clothed, I unlock the door and leave Itachi's room. Maybe next time will be different, I try to convince myself. Even though I already know it won't be.
