The final Fantasy Seven Characters talk about... Hair. This is a Mini, short two chapter, fic.
Disclaimer: I wished I owned FFVII, but I don't, darn it. Reno and the Turks are awesome. Everything belongs to Squarenix except for the plot and complaints. So does the video games meantioned and rnaodm appreances.
Warnings: OOC-ness and SPOILERS. And of course my stupid random writing style. I also didn't finish playing FFVII yet. Minor Minor Character Bashing? And also, I tend to ramble on and then the main subject becomes another and another and another and, oh look! A penny!
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Once upon a time, in land far far away...oops, wrong intro, my bad. I mean, One day, all of our favorite characters, AVALANCHE, The Turks, and villians alike where all sitting in a room together. They had just discovered the complition of Final Fantasy packs. The reason for this is unknown however. Where they where waiting for their next scene? Bored? Well after 100 failed games of Poker (in which Yuffie lost miserably and Reno won 95 percent of the time) a famous question came up.
"I wonder how Cloud's hair sticks up like that..." Yuffie said randomly one day.
"It defies the law of gravity..." Reno added using the most famous and easiest way to describe the Hero's hair.
"Everything went against the law of gravity in Advent Children." Tifa muttered.
"I wonder is he has a hairdresser..." Tifa wondered.
"He sure does need one, like Reno here too." Elena said smiling as Reno rolled his eyes.
"You're the one with the too blonde hair, rookie..." Reno muttered as Elena whacked him on the head, Reno let out a curse.
"Psh, like he really needs one. Wonder how much hair gel he uses too." Cid added going back to Cloud's hair.
"Hm...Maybe A lot...Think we should ask him?" Aeries said as Cloud entered the room and conversation.
"Hey Cloud! How do you get your hair to stick up like that?" Rufus asked. "I need pointers; I have to hide my hair behind this hood..."
"I thought you only wore that hood because you had a pimple that you couldn't cover?" Reeve said.
"LUKE! I'M YOUR FATHER!" Darth Vader yelled, then seeing Rufus in his outfit, added, "Master! I didn't know---I--""CUT! Wrong set!" Someone yelled as Darth Vader exited the screen.
"Was he talking to you, Mr. Tseng?" Elena asked as Tseng shook his head, Reno resited to make a smart alec comment out of this.
"... Anyways, I'm going to act like that just didn't happen." Rufus said rolling his eyes. "SOMEBODY, cough RENO cough," Rufus glared at Reno who started whistling and shifting his feet. "Messed up on my hair dying job! Told the hairdresser to turn me into a carrot top in FF7, a choboco otherwise, and really bleached blonde person in Advent Children!"
"Hey! I think the color fits you well! It was better than that one time you tried to dye your hair at home, now THAT was funny..." Reno said innocently as Rufus started grumbling.
Cloud looked at Rufus and eveyone oddly trying to see why they where asking this particular question. How in the world did this subject even come up?
"So is it natural or do you use hair gel?" Yuffie repeated.
"Uh...Both?" Cloud said trying to remember what in the world his hairdresser did with it. He had said perfectly he wanted his hair to look more noticeable and dramatic like Zax's hair was. He WORSHIPPED Zax, but the world would never know that. Oh, crap, I just said that outloud didn't I? oops, my bad...Well now the world knows! Sorry Cloud!
"Well, they made me look cool in Advent Children?" Cloud volentered.
"Hey...we got reduced to comic relief!" Reno and Ruth complained. "It was cool and all, but I mean, c'mon!"
"You where ALWAYS comic relief, in fact, all of us Turks where..." Tseng sighed. "At least I wasn't dead..."
"Reno...your hair is too long... Same with yours, Vincent..." Yuffie said as a mischievous smile formed her face. Reno and Vincent glanced at her nervously as Yuffie ran out of the room laughing evilly.
"Your hair looks like it went on a very bad dye job..." Tifa observed looking at Reno. "It's just too...red...to be natural at least."
Cloud observed. "It looks like your head got caught on fire..."
"HEY! I LIKE my hair! So shut up! Yours isn't the best thing ever!" Reno snapped as Cloud put up his hands defensively.
"At least you have hair..." Rude said looking at his bald head. Cornrows and Afro's...the good old days...
"Well, Red XIII and I get ignored so many times, in fics, conversations and things, I mean it's like we didn't even exist sometime! It was a miracle to go into this one and have at least one line!" Cait Sith complained. "We don't' even have a fan listing!"
Well then, Cait Sith, you used up over one line. It was actually two over run long sentances actually becasue the writer of this story could not stop talking at the moment. Blame it on Starbucks. Yummy, Frappuchinos..."Could it be the fact that you aren't human?" Reeve muttered under his breath. I must have been high to create that thing...
"Hey! I'm sometimes ignored too..." Barret said. "And I turned into some kind of angry maniac in the game..."
"That's because you are..." Cloud muttered.
"HEY WHAT WAS THAT, PUNK?" Barret yelled as Cloud gulped.
"Nothing! It must have been the little voices in your head and all that other stuff..."
"Are you saying I'm unstable?" Barret yelled.
"That's EXACTLY what Cait Sith said in the game!"
"Why do you always wear your clothes so messy by the way, Reno?" Tifa asked ignoring the Barret and Cloud issue. "You're a Turk and are supposed to dress neat and all Turk and all."
"Because I feel like it." Reno said. "Besides, if Cloud and Sephiroth didn't cut it for the fan girls, I guess they had to bring me in...too bad I'm not a main character though...That would've been cool..."
"I DIED in the game alright? Now, THAT sucks!" Aeries said.
"At least you where in Advent Children longer!" Zax snapped. "I was only in it at the end!"
"Still! I was called AERITH in Kingdom Hearts and they don't' even my real name! You where in Last Order and will be in Crisis Core!" Yes, I know that AERITH as teh original Japanese game name and all for her.
"Well at least Square didn't make your boobs so huge for fulfill some idiot's fantasy..." Tifa muttered. "Not that I'm complaining..."
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Let the randomness, complaints, and critisms and surprise continue in the next chapter...Dont' worry, Sephiroth is in the next chapter.
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As you can tell, I had a venti sized frappuchino when I wrote this...And I wrote it at 3 am in the morning...nyways, the complaints and stuff where wha tI heard/saw and stuff, so no offense ot anyone. I'd appreciate it if people also read my Author Notes before critisizing me for something that was already explained. Sorry for the Typos and name spellings is I had any wrong, I'll fix those ASAP. So until next time! Please Review?