54 heaven's gate close

54 heaven's gate close

Colony 37

Dear Sister,

                   It is I your brother, Jariyn. It has been too long since I have written to you and for that I apologise. The past few days have been weighing heavily upon my mind. I feel the world coming so close to it's totality of war despite my prayers for it not to be. My friends and I, we're so entrapped within our minds and hearts, it seems as if soon we will be called upon to protect this planet I love so dearly from the horror of White Fang. How can they honesly consider their ways an act of peace?! They say they are fighitng for the colonies, an irony I suppose that we're on different sides; You on a colony under the protection of Zechs Marquise, myself upon this earth in service of my leader Trieze. No Jiyn, I know you don't go along with their planned extermination of this world, in fact I am well aware of your letter that you sent to Zechs Marquise, I received a copy yesterday, I was very moved dear sister. You're the only person I know who would do such a thing, begging him to re-consider his actions but I know, as I write this letter to you that he won't even read it, he doesn't know what he's missing. I'm sure if he saw the words with which you have put so much sincereity into would surely shed a tear even from his icy eyes.

You know I saw Relena Peacecraft recently, in a very nice causal dress, she looks so gorgeous in it!! It's been so long since I got the honour to see her, she really is the most beautiful girl I could lay my eyes upon, so strong in spirit and full of life despite the hardships she faces; she must be trying so hard to hold back tears. You know every time I saw her during the brief moments she was near my station, I saw such devotion within those sapphire eyes of hers, she truly cares for peace yet I wonder how somebody with such a pure and gentle spirit as Relena could stop this atrocity from happening. I don't think she can.

Ha ha! Remember when I applied for her school? Both you and I know the only reason I did was so I could see her. It was a shame really, I was so nervous back then, easily intimidated by my feelings. I think I may have gotten to be good friends if I could ever get time alone with her but she always had that girl with her! What was her name? Dorothy, that was it! There's something about her that just chills my blood, I hear her talk about the 'beauty' of war. I honestly don't know how Relena with her beautiful ideals can tolerate her; maybe it is because she is so gentle in spirit that she puts up with her, despite their opposite opinions.

You know Jiyn, if her dream is peace then I wish I could be the one to tell her how much I agree with her. It is people like her that have kept the world free from oppression since the dawn of mankind. I just can't understand a man like Zechs, Milliardo, whatever you want to call him. When will these idealists realise? True peace is only attained through the development of mutual love and care between people, you may be able to cease wars with the terror of what it may bring, oh yes I could tell that was what he was on about as I saw his assembled speech to mankind. I was standing next to a father, a young man with the most gorgeous little girl, who was truly terrified, I could see her scares, like myself when I always used to think the wolves would get me when we went camping as children remember? Well it brought back memories only her fears were justified.

What angers me more than anything though is the principle of this whole war. You know as well as I do that such a peace , attained through the terror is false. If we wish to become a peaceful people it must be through the gentleness of our souls and the hidden love we hold for each other that we cover with fear of seeming weak; weakness is no worry when you have others to support you and be a comfort in hard times; a peace brought on by a war simply  terrifies impressionable hearts but it doesn't last forever, such fear leaves the soul after a time and when that happens, more lives will be lost and next time, it will be a war of vengeance, such is the cry of the human spirit. I know you believe this, like your fiancée, Kiro, as you have requested I have sent him your love and he does so back to you. He can't wait to see you again Jiyn, I really think you two are meant for each other.

You may be surprised to know this but as I write this, tears fall from my eyes. Relena, I can't get her out of my mind, she is all I think about when I rest on my bunk looking up to the sky, my hands to my heart as I see her sweet face in my mind, those shining eyes, that perfect mouth, just everything about her. I can honestly call this love and the pain comes from within my soul at the knowledge that I might as well not exist, I am no part of her life, I do not have the care of her heart I yearn for, I am not special to her. We walk past each other and exchange looks, I even made her smile once, it made my day but does she remember that she exchanged looks with me? Remember that I made her smile? I think not. I always hoped that one day I may get to spend some time alone with her, tell her how deeply I admire her but there is no more time. My unit has just received the following orders, we are to enter our mobile suits and prepare for the battle, defending this beautiful planet from the evil star of Libra. I hear that the enemy is using mobile dolls, at least I won't be held back by my conscious not to kill, how did I end up being a soldier? I don't know, I guess I wanted to protect the ideals of peace…Relena's ideals of peace and now is the moment of truth, this is it, my time when I can finally prove myself. Dear Jiyn, if I were there I would hold you as I say this, sadly all you can do is imagine your older brother holding you within his arms as he looks at what a strong girl you have become, mother and father would be so proud. I hope they would think the same of me, I hope you do as well, I am so sorry that the last time you hear from me is in the form of a letter, I tried talk to you directly but communications were cut, it seems that this will be all you have left of me. I'm so sorry, you know I care for you but this is it, my whole life has been leading to this. I have always dreamed of a peaceful world but I was never in a position to influence such things, now at least I can help Trieze protect this world that we both love. Know this dear sister, I won't go down without a fight, I'm not about to let the children and people of this earth be destroyed, my death will be honourable as I strive to protect this world and I know that Trieze will acknoledge my efforts, I swear I saw him look over the list of casualties, remembering each one off by heart before going onto the next, it comforts me somewhat that my name will be remembered by him and I am proud to dedicate my life to such a man. Goodbye Jiyn, it has been wonderful having you as a sister, I beg of you not to forget me and maybe in the years to come you will be able to look at my picture and be proud of your older brother. Don't grieve for me, for as I go into battle I do with a strong heart and with the joy that I can protect the people of earth. My only regret is that Relena, the girl that has my heart will never know of the feelings I hold for her, if you ever get the chance. I would ask that you show this to her, this is my last favour I ask of you, that and to keep your chin up as you dance, you look so much more elegant that way. Farewell Dear sister, you will be in my thoughts as I am in space. Remember me.

Jariyn Ahsrien

xxxx

During the following battle Jariyn Ashrien shot down more than 150 mobile dolls in defence of earth before he himself was shot down and killed……He fought to the bitter end, fighting even as his Virgo mobile suit was pounded from all sides by the enemy… He was awarded the golden star in honour of his bravery and courage……His sister requested that this letter be sent to Relena Peacecraft, who, having read his letter, inscribed his name upon the statue outside of her school……A reminder of the sadness of war and the prayer that it will never happen again.

                                                                                                            Lady Une