"Dammit Rachel will you please just stop nagging me, I'm trying here!" Santana yelled. For the past week Rachel has been non-stop tell Santana that she needed to do something more than just mope around the house. It has been a month since Mr. Schue's wedding and Santana has been feeling guilty about what happened with Quinn and heartbroken at seeing how in love Brittany was with Sam.

"Santana, I know you are, but me, Kurt, and Brody can't keep providing for you, we can barely provide for ourselves. You need to start doing something and stop feeling so depressed over Brittany and Quinn," Rachel argued. It was true, they were running low on money and Santana has literally done nothing, but mope silently around apartment.

"I can't stop okay, I- I had sex with my straight best friend, got her drunk for my own damn benefit and got her to sleep with me because I was so damn angry and upset at watching Brittany smiling and laughing at Sam and kissing him. And the stupid part of it is I have no right to feel these things because I broke up with her and hurt her first. I told her she had a right to date anyone she wanted. Now I turn around and try to get her back because she's dating someone and it's not right of me," Santana whispered the ending. She let a tear slip down her face.

"Santana, it's perfectly right to get upset about someone you love being with another and the Quinn thing is perfectly understandable, it wasn't the best choice, but understandable and I'm sure Brittany would think the same thing," Rachel tried to reason. She absolutely hated to see the once strong, bitchy girl, turn into a small, weak puppy. Rachel had seen and heard Santana cry one to many times this month.

"No, she'll just believe it was just some revenge and hate me forever; I can't deal with that… I can't deal with all this bullshit life has thrown at me. Everything was perfect in senior year, I was with the person I loved the most, I was on good terms with everyone and now everything is going to shit because I stupid fucking mistake I made!" Santana cried.

"Santana, one mistake can't ruin your life, especially one about breaking up," Rachel said.

"But it did, I haven't been happy since I left for college. Everyday feels like another war I have to face and it's killing me. I'm so tired of fighting, I thought I was done when I finally came out and accepted my love for Brittany, but now it's just started up again and I just can't take it. I can't take you or Kurt yelling at me, I can't take the constant offers I get from guys around this city, I can't take not being with Brittany and seeing and knowing her being with someone else the she used to be with me. I can't take the fact that I made Quinn do something that I know she wouldn't have done sober. I'm just done every fucking thing," Santana said, her tears had stopped and Rachel noticed how pale Santana had gotten over the course of her speech, and it made Rachel immediately worry.

"What do you mean you're done?" Rachel asked, Santana shook her head and gave a slight smile.

"Just what it means, I'm done," and with that Santana walked out of the door. Rachel stood there dumfounded, trying to decipher if Santana truly meant that she was done. Out of panic and concern Rachel raced after Santana, but when Rachel got out side of the building she couldn't see the Latina anywhere. Rachel looked back and forth down the street and soon paced down one way looking. After she got to the end of the street and looked down the others she paced back up to the other end and checked there. Santana was nowhere to be seen.

"Shit, no no no no," Rachel muttered to herself running up the stairs and going back into the apartment. Rachel reached for her phone and called Kurt.

"Hello," Kurt asked, chipper.

"Kurt, Santana she um, I- she," Rachel kept tripping over her words, trying to find out where to start.

"Rachel, Rachel…. RACHEL!" Kurt yelled finally getting Rachel to stop, "take a deep breath and tell what happened,' Kurt said, his heart thumped while his brain racked for what about Santana was making Rachel freak out. Rachel followed his instructions and took a deep shaky breath and started again.

"Santana and I were… well I was telling her that she needed to stop moping about Brittany and Quinn and start pulling her weight… again and she just went off the complete deep and. I mean she told me everything she was feeling and started crying. Then she said she was done with everything and I asked her what she meant and she just said that she was just done and left. I mean I tried to follow her, but I have no idea where she went and I'm scared she might do something Kurt… this is all my fault if I wouldn't have brought up the stupid weight pulling thing and just left her to deal with what she was feeling she would have never have left and I feel terrible, what if something happened to her then it would be all my fault and it would be like Quinn getting in a car crash all over again, because I pushed when I shouldn't have and I'm just freaking out," Rachel started crying, only the worse scenarios running through her head.

"Rachel, calm down, I'll head over there right now, have you called Brody?" Kurt asked.

"No," Rachel's voice was rough.

"Okay, call Brody tell him what happened and when we get there, we'll all go out and look for Santana,' Kurt said, he was trying as hard as he could to keep calm, he didn't want this to be a repeat of Karofskey, but this time no one getting to Santana in time.

"Okay,' Rachel said and hung up. Quickly she dialed Brody and told him too, but her crying got worse. Soon both Brody and Kurt were at the apartment.

"Okay let's go find her," Kurt said opening the door. Rachel stood there looking at her feet, Brody walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders, and she looked up at him.

"We're going to find Santana," he said, "we're going to find her and she is going to be alive," he said trying to reassure her. She smiled weakly and nodded, and then they headed out.

With Santana

Santana ran until her lung burned, her throat screamed in pain and her legs finally gave out, making her fall to her hands and knees. She couldn't stop the tears, the waves of guilt and hurt rushing through her. She hated this, this is why she never wanted to deal with feelings… this is why without feeling I's better, not the other way around. If she didn't use feelings then she wouldn't be hurt. If she had her walls, she never would have had to protect herself, but she broke her rules and let Brittany in. Thinking about brought a raw, painful scream through her throat while she punched the ground; continuously she rammed her fist into the dirt until her brain screamed at her to stop. Her body heaved trying to recover oxygen it lost. Her heart thumped painfully through her chest, sharing the pain throughout the body. Slowly she sat back on her heels and looked around. She had no idea where she was, it seem to be an abandoned railway track. Santana soon calmed herself down and took her phone out. She saw multiple missed calls and texts from Rachel, Kurt and Brody; she quickly deleted them and looked up her mothers number. A few rings sounded till her mother picked up.

"Hello mija, good to hear from you," her mothers voice was so happy and cheerful; Santana felt slight envy for her.

"Mami," Santana croaked into the phone, "Is it alright if I come home and stay a few days?" Santana asked.

"I'm so sorry Mija, but your father and I are on vacation in Italy, he just got a promotion and we're celebrating, but next month we'll be back, we'd love for you to come then," her mother said genuinely.

"Oh… okay," Santana said sadly, she wasn't sure she would be here next month.

"Santana… is everything okay, you don't sound like yourself," her mother asked, concern filled her voice.

"I'm fine, I have to go,' Santana rushed.

"Okay, well I'll see you next month?" she asked, hope evident in her voice. Santana paused and sighed.

"Goodbye," Santana said pulling her phone away from her ear. Before she ended her call she heard er mothers voice.

"Santana-"click. Santana stared at her phone. Anger quickly took over, anger for her mother being happy without her, angry at herself for feeling that way and angry for not telling her mother that she loved her one last time. Santana pounded her phone into the ground and screamed, throwing it away. Santana put her face into her hands and sobbed, the pain taking over again. After a few minutes Santana looked up, determination on her face. She got to her feet and started walking, wanting to end her pain.

6:00 a.m Gay-Berry, Santana, and Brody's apartment.

"She was nowhere, what if she's already… gone," Rachel said aggravated and throwing her coat on the ground.

"She's not, it was only the three of us looking for her in New York, we need more people, we need out friends," Kurt said.

"He's right, we need a lot more people to look for her, but we should call the police," Brody said.

"And say what? She left on her own and even if we did it hasn't been forty-eight hours yet, they won't put out a missing persons report," Rachel said angrily.

"Then we call our friends… I'll handle Lima, you get ahold of Quinn, Mike, and Mercedes," Kurt said, Rachel sighed and nodded. Rachel pulled out her phone and called Quinn.

"Hello," Quinn answered.

"Quinn," Rachel's voice shook.

"Rachel? What's wrong?" Quinn asked, Rachel never called out of the blue before.

"It's Santana," Rachel said.

"What? What about Santana? Rachel tell me what's going on," Quinn was starting to panic.

"She… she's missing, she left saying she was done with everything and left, we looked for her but this city is way too big, the three of us can't search it, we need you… I'm so worried that she might try something," Rachel cried into the phone.

"Okay, I'll leave right now, I'll be there… she's going to be fine," Quinn said hurriedly as she started to grab her things to leave.

"Kay," Rachel said and hung up, she looked over to Kurt who was talking to who she assumed to be Finn.

Lima, Ohio after school in WMHS in the choir room.

"Dude, calm down I'm not following what you're saying," Finn said into the phone, he could tell that Kurt was panicked and scared. Everyone was watching the conversation since the call took place during Glee Club.

"Santana, she and Rachel had an argument and Santana just freaked out, saying she was done with everything and then left. We looked for her all night and we can't find her. We need help, New York is too big of a city for three people to look for one person, we need all of you down here…. We're worried she might hurt herself," Kurt said more slowly. Finn stayed silent for a few seconds taking everything in.

"Okay, yeah we'll be there," Finn said hanging up. He looked to all the Glee kids and Mr. Schue.

"Finn, what's wrong?" Mr. Schue asked taking it Finns slightly paled face.

"Uh, um Santana… she's missing. They need out help looking for her," Finn said.

"What? Why don't they call the police? This is serious," Tina exclaimed first.

"Santana ran out crying, and they said the police wouldn't bother because she left willingly, she's over age, and it also hasn't been forty-eight hours yet, so they wouldn't even put up a missing persons bulletin anyway," Finn said. Everyone looked shocked; Brittany had a worried expression on her face. Why would Santana run away, she was supposed to be in New York, having fun, being happy, finding a girlfriend and living out her dreams, not crying and running away.

"They want us to go there, they said they also are calling Quinn, Mercedes, and Mike… I'm going," Finn said.

"Me too," Tina said standing up.

"Whoa guys, you're being a little hasty, we're not sure if Santana really ran away, and you just can't go to New York, you have to get permission from your parents. I'm sure Santana is just fine," Mr. Schue said standing up.

"Mr. Schue is right, Santana does have a habit of over reacting to things, this is probably one of her running stunts that she usually does," Sam agreed.

"Well you aren't positive of that either, and I rather be looking for her and finding out she's okay and that is was just an overreaction than to be visiting her in the hospital or being invited to her funeral," Tina snapped at Sam and Mr. Schue. Thy bowed their heads knowing she had a point.

"Don't say that," Brittany whispered. She got up out of her chair and started heading for the door.

"Britt where are you going?" Sam asked. She turned around and looked at him before her eyes scanned the rest of them.

"I'm going to go look for my best friend and show you that she is fine, she isn't dead and she isn't going to be for another hundred years, I'm sure of it. I know you guys didn't like Santana all that much and thought she was a bitch, but you don't know what she's really like, you don't know that she is super sweet and would do anything for her friends and that even though she wouldn't admit it, she actually liked you guys," Brittany turned and headed out the door.

"I'm with Brittany, my mom won't care," Marley said standing up and walking out, Jake and Ryder close behind her. Finn nodded and headed out with Tina. Wade, Joe, and Blaine were next to leave. Kitty sighed and got up too, followed by Puck who was sitting in on the club. Artie started wheeling himself out.

"You two Artie? I thought you hated her?" Sam asked astonished. Artie turned and looked at him.

"I know Santana did some pretty terrible things to me, and messed with my relationship with Brittany, but she really isn't that bad of a person, and I'm not going to let the past between us get in between what is happening now," Artie said and turned back going out the classroom. Mr. Schue sighed and ran his hand through his hair defeated. Sam grumbled and got up, following the mass of people going out to look for Santana.

Apartment 28 hours missing

Everyone was in the apartment talking about what happened. Rachel finally got them to be quite while she explained the last few months to them, about her and Kurt constantly telling Santana she needed to get a job or do something, Santanas late night crying fits, the depressed mood she's been in and her regrets.

"You what?" Finn asked shocked looking at Quinn.

"I was drunk you guys, I thought it would be a fun experiment," Quinn defended.

"She was… how could you do that I thought we were friends! She just isn't an experiment!" Brittany yelled at Quinn.

"I know, we are friends Brittany, and like I said I was super drunk, I wasn't thinking right. And besides what's the difference between me and Santana getting together and you and Sam getting together?" Quinn questioned.

"It's different because…" Brittany trailed off trying to find a reason.

"Exactly, me getting with Santana, whom you've dated and now are broken up with, is no different that you being with Sam whom me and Santana both dated and broken op with, you don't have right to be mad with us. Especially after you specifically told Santana to move on," Quinn argued. They continued their banter till Kurt cut in.

"Enough! Look you guys can have this argument later, right now out friend, your best friend is out there in who knows what state. We don't have time to argue about this, right now Santana needs us, and for all we know she could be injured, or being hurt, or… as much as I hate to say it, dying. So put whatever conflicts you have with each other side for right now so we can find her, you can argue and fight all you want after we find her for all I care," Kurt said. Everyone quieted down and nodded.

"Good, no we need to split up into groups of three, me, Quinn, Brittany, and Sam; Finn, Puck, and Brody; Jake, Ryder, Marley, and Wade; Mercedes, Kitty, and Tina; Mike, Artie, and Joe; and Blaine, Kurt, and…"

"Us," Mr. Schue said from the door, he had Sue, Beiste, and Emma behind him, and they were smiling slightly. Rachel smiled and nodded.

"Blaine, Kurt, Mr. Schue, Mrs. Pillsbury, Ms. Sylvester, and Coach Beiste," Rachel affirmed. They all nodded.

"Alright, now we have six groups, Kurt and them will go south, my group will go east, Marleys group will go North, Mercedes group will head west, Mikes will handle the middle of the city, and Rachels will do the outskirts of the city," Brody said. They all nodded and left the building, getting in their cars and driving to their assigned areas.

Santana

Santana had been walking all night, and got back into the city. She was weak and exaughsted, but still determined. Slowly she walked into a store where the clerk gave her a look and watched her as she grabbed and box of plastic sandwich bags. Santana went up to her and sat them down. The clerk grabbed them and scanned them, pressing in a few buttons.

"Will this be all?" he asked, Santana nodded, "2.26," the clerk said, Santana brought out her wallet and pulled out a twenty.

"Keep the change," Santana murmured and walked out with the baggies. She walked to a bridge that went over a river. She stared at it for what seemed like hours till she brought out her phone and started typing. She typed all her goodbyes out and saved the note. Slowly she took the memory card out and opened the box. She grabbed a bag out and slipped the card in there before sealing it tight. Then she put that bag in another and put her cellphone in with it. Next she brought out her id and put it in the bad along with the cell phone. Santana dropped her wallet and pushed away the box of bags. She climbed up on the ledge, and slid the bags inside the waist of her pants. She took a deep breath looked down at the dark, cold water rushing below her. Santana allowed a few tears slide down her cheeks. She thought of how much this would hurt her family, her friend. Inside though, she believed that they would be happier without her there, Rachel and Kurt we perfectly happy before she came along, Quinn found a new guy, Brittany told her to leave, and everyone in Lima seemed to be pretty good. Mercedes and Mike don't even talk to her, and her parents are living it up in Italy. They would and are fine without her to bring them down. Santana took a deep breath and jumped. It felt as if her heart flew up to her throat and her stomach plummeted the opposite way. Her throat tightened and her teeth clenched along with her eyes.

Santana saw her life pass through her mind.

Meeting Quinn and Brittany.

Her bitchiness to everyone.

When she got onto the cheer squad.

Her first kiss.

Her first time.

Her first kiss with Brittany.

Her first time with Brittany.

Hating Artie for dating Brittany.

Hating Quinn.

Being with Finn that one night.

Trying to make Brittany jealous.

Confessing her love.

Brittany turning her down.

Singing her first love song to Brittany.

Her getting kicked out of Glee.

Being outed.

Admitting she was gay.

Finally being with Brittany.

Her singing her first love song to Brittany in front of the Glee club.

Valentines day.

Graduating without Brittany.

Brittany being angry with her about leaving.

Breaking up.

Coming back to Brittany dating Sam.

Getting told to leave.

Being turned down again.

Sleeping with Quinn.

Yelling at Rachel.

Saying goodbye to her mother.

"Goodbye… Britt," Santana whispered before her body landed harshly into the river. A cracking sound being made; Santana closed her eyes, letting the physical pain slip away as darkness succumbed her mind. Her last thought before the black reached:

I love you.

And that's not the end. This isn't going to be a terribly long story, but the idea popped into my head so I had to, please review.