Please forgive if this is a bit choppy. My computer was majorly acting up and as a result I had to rewrite this chapter 3 friggin times. Let me know how my Donny POV is, I've been gone for a few years so I now that I'm a bit rusty. Don can be a hard character to write! Well, enjoy!
Chapter 1
What was I thinking?
I looked sideways at April. She was quietly watching the movie, sipping her soda. The movie was nearing the end, not that I was completely sure anyway. It was a romantic comedy. Normally I don't mind that sort of thing too much, out of all of our brothers I suppose you could say that I had the highest tolerance for 'chick flicks,' but this time I just couldn't pay attention. After all, we were on a date.
Well, maybe not really a date. I told her that I wasn't in the mood to watch a movie alone and asked if she would come along, so theoretically she was here on false pretenses.
My stomach clenched and I gritted my teeth, my fingertips digging into the arm of the seat. What was I THINKING? This went against everything that I was. Ninjitsu was about honor, was this about honor? Even if you ignore the honor part, what about common decency? She just broke up with Casey a month ago and here I am swooping in like a vulture, here to claim the 'spoils.'
It's not like it was exactly a pretty break up. Does that make it any less wrong? I wasn't sure.
I had always had a crush on her. It was obvious to my brothers, but as an unspoken rule they rarely mentioned it except for the occasional jab and tease. From what I've seen in observing people on my street on the rare occasion when I take to wandering and from what I can see of society through the media, it is pretty easy for the other party to be oblivious of the crush no matter how obvious it is to others. Either that or the person is aware but chooses to ignore it, perhaps to hope it will go away or to see what the other will do. It seems like a cruel dance so far as I'm concerned. Like an insect collector killing their beetles and butterflies because they are so beautiful. I always tried to fight it. After all, what woman would want to be with something like me? Especially someone like her.
So I fought it. But it didn't help.
The thing is, during the last year, we had grown so much closer, spent so much more time together, that had to count for something, right? On our 20th birthday party she vented to me about everything that was going on with her life, with Casey, about him not wanting to grow up, about his attitude... She must have vented for over an hour, at the end being so apologetic at taking up so much of my time on my own birthday, saying that she was being selfish. How could I find the words to tell her that this was anything but? That I treasured our time together? Whatever I had awkwardly blurted out must have worked, for I relished the embrace that we shared afterward. She squeezed her body fully onto my plastron, her face in the crook of my neck, her breath dancing across my skin sending the sensation down my spine and into my toes. Then in a low voice, she asked, almost to herself, 'Why can't more guys be like you.'
Of course she realized what she said pretty quick and our wonderful moment was suddenly awkward. I blushed, couldn't speak. She mumbled some excuse and went to join the party without looking at me again. She left pretty soon afterwards. I didn't leave my room for a while, not until long after the party was over. My family knocked on my door, but I begged off, saying that the cake was sugar overload on my stomach and the nausea was too much. It wasn't a complete lie, after all whenever I thought about our talk, her embrace what she said...my stomach did all sorts of unnatual twists and turns that I didn't know exactly how to interpret them.
I couldn't help but think, did she mean it? A guy like me?
All these thoughts coursed through my head as the movie resolved itself in a hokie, feel-good ending and the two lovers ended up together again despite the odds, to live happily ever after in their star-crossed lives. My legs felt like rubber, my feet glued to the grimy floor. If only...
I found it hard to get up at first. This was it. I had the excuse of the movie the whole time to stay silent, thinking over and over about what I would say on our walk home, only to have every thought within my head vanish as soon as the opportunity showed it's ugly head.
April was smiling, going over her favorite parts of the movie.
I smile and nod, watching her lips move, her face animated, full of expression and happiness, wondering if she knows how beautiful she is.
Cinching my trenchcoat tighter, we make our way out of the movie theater and start our walk down the sidewalk, careful to stick to the darker part of the street to avoid direct notice. Not that I'm not already noticeable enough, dressed in a hat, bandana and trenchcoat on a warm spring evening. If anyone ever made an issue of it and got too close with their nosy questions then a mention of a possibly contagious rash usually quelled any further inquiry.
She keeps up her animated talk. I listen to the rise and fall of her voice. It sounds like music. The entire time I'm kicking myself inside. Well? Why don't you say something? Tell her! You're both adults! Do it!
Coward. That's what I am. Pure coward.
No. I have to say something. If anything, to end this charade. To be honest.
Silence starts to edge it's way between us. If feels heavy and palpable, like I could reach our and stroke it between my fingers. I can tell that she feels the same way. She's looking at the pavement, chewing her lip, hands stuffed into the pockets of her jeans. I open my mouth to speak.
"Listen, Donnie..."
I snap my jaw shut and look up at her. Even now, technically an adult, she towers over my shorter frame. "Yes April?" My voice sounds hesitant, thready. Damn! Where's that confidence that rang so clear when you went over this in your head!
"I wanted to apologize again, for before...uh...at the party..." She held up a hand as soon as I started to speak, to tell her that it was alright. When she looked at me her eyes brimmed with moisture. Something in my chest twisted. "You see, the thing is, I feel that I've...I, I've been taking advantage of you."
My jaw dropped. What? That wasn't what I expected to hear. "I, I don't understand." My heart thudded hard against my plastron, I almost expected her to hear. The bad thing was, I knew that this wasn't going to end well. My legs screamed at me to run away, the muscles becoming weak with the effort of resistance; my brain raled at me, telling me that I didn't want to hear this. Yet I stood there, stupidly glued to the same spot, unable to move.
She looked away, took a deep breath. Her voice had a slight tremble. "Actually, I think that you do." Turning her head she looked into my eyes, her strawberry hair falling slightly over her eyes. "I know that you've had...sort of a crush on me..."
A hard lump formed in my throat and I struggled to swallow it. It wouldn't budge. My brain jumped up and down. 'Now's your chance! Save yourself! Run away! Run!' Sometimes I can't listen. Still rooted to the spot I stared at her like a deer before an oncoming truck. Dumbly watching it's own demise approach.
"You see, you've always been a great...friend...a fantastic friend, but...that's all. I can't in good consciousness allow this to go on, I can't let you do this to yourself. To us. I value our friendship too much for that. I know what you wanted tonight to be, what you were hoping for, but I can't let that happen. I'm sorry, but I just can't."
A punch in the stomach. A slap in the face. Why can't she just do one of those? Surely it has to be preferable to this! "But you and Casey..." What! Why say something like that! How stupid can you be! To bring up that now?
She looked up with her eyes closed, a small smile playing her lips. "That lunkhead." She said to herself. "I know we have our problems, our scuffles. But we're still a couple. In fact," a sharp intake of breath, "I think that he might be ready to get serious." She shook her head. "Sorry. But..." She turned and looked at me face to face. Her expression was serious, her eyes pleading. "We are friends." I stared at her as she spoke. Each word seemed to weigh on me hard, smacking me to the core. "Just friends, okay?"
My heart seemed to pulse in my ears. My head spun and my heart thudded so hard that I was surprised that my teeth didn't rattle. The ground seemed to shatter beneath my feet and I was plumetting. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't how I had planned the evening at all...
I couldn't do this.
"Don. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I really care a lot for you, really. I care for you. As a friend. Please."
What could I say? I didn't get a chance to say what I had wanted, but at this time there was no point was there? She had said all that needed to be said. I tried to work my mouth but nothing came out. My throat was dry. I licked my lips. My tongue felt like a dry stick against my suddenly parched lips. I sniffed as a sudden, hard lump formed in my throat. Shrugging my shoulders in what I hoped was a nonchalant manner I nodded. "Of course. Whatever you say, I-" my voice cracked and I swallowed, but was unable to get past the growing lump in my throat. My brain still screaming, I couldn't ignore it any longer. "I...I'm sorry April, I think I have to go, I have to..."
I fled. I ran away like a coward.
A thousand thoughts were racing through my head. What could I have been thinking? I'm a mutant turtle. She is an intelligent, self sufficient woman with her whole life ahead of her. Why would she want anything to do with me? All that I would do is tie her down. She wouldn't be able to have a normal life, a normal anything. For all I know we couldn't even have kids. Making a committment to me like that would ruin her life. I've been leading myself on like this for no reason. It's been futile. Pointless. A compllete waste. Worse than a waste. Wrong.
I ran, my legs surged with energy, yet they felt so incredibly weak...like wet paper. I stumbled, my shell hit the brick wall of a building. I stopped, my chest wreaking heavy sobs. Weak, weak, weak, weak.
Dragging along the wall, I stood in the shadows, ignored by the few people that passed by. Ignored by them all. Nothing new. Nothing changed. Just my own realization of my own plight. I would never be truly useful to society. Never be able to move about, conduct myself in the circles that I had desired. Even amongst my family, I was the weaker ninja, needed only when my intelligence could lend itself to the group. Not that I had anyone to blame but myself, of course. Who else to blame...
At first I didn't even hear the scream, so deep was I within my own sorrow. The second time it pierced through the air, though, my head perked up, my ears picking up the familiar sound. Even then it took another instant before the sound truly registered home.
APRIL!
In an instant I was on my feet. I didn't know what was pounding harder, my heart or my feet streaking across the pavement.
I streaked down the street, nothing but a green blurr, my trenchcoat billowing behind me like a cape. I pivoted, my feet skidding briefly upon the pavement.
As I turned the corner I could see her. Her back was against the wall, her eyes wide in shock, her lips forming a big 'O'. Directly in front of her was a man, his figure covering most of hers, his body pressed up against her length.
I was upon him in an instant, my fists gripping the back of his coat and literally threw him against the wall on the other side of the alley. He hit it with a jarring thud, his mouth hung open in shock as he took in exactly what had attacked him. My eyes fell to the knife gripped in his hand, to the blood that glinted off the blade.
My heart dropped in a feeling of cold terror as I turned to April.
Her mouth still open, her eyes stil wide in shock, she slowly looked down at the wound in her chest, at the bright red arterial blood that spurted hot between her fingers. Surging forward I grabbed her, helped her down. With shaking hands I tore the fabric of her shirt to expose her abdomen, trying to see the wound. The feelling of panic somehow deepened when I saw the wound's location. It was below her left breast. I could feel her heart struggling beneath her skin, trying in vain to still pump blood despite the gaping hole in the ventricle.
She had maybe a minute, if she was lucky.
Sobbing fresh tears, I futilely tried to stop the wound, my hands shaking. "Shhhhhh. It's okay, it'll be okay. It's okay..." my voice cracked and my vision became blurry through my own tears.
Blood seeping slowly out of her mouth she coughed, sputtering blood droplets across her face. Her eyes looked at me and they seemed distant. I stroked her cheek, leaving a thick smear of her own blood across her face. Already she was beginning to feel cold...so cold...
She worked her lips but no sound came out. With a trembling hand her palm raised and slowly rested upon my cheek. Sobbing fresh tears I raised my own hand and covered her with my own, pressing her skin to me. The tremor in her muscles was terrifying.
Even as I looked into her eyes she tried to say something once more, but again nothing came out. Then something changed. The bright, beautiful intelligence slowly started to fade, as though a candle flame was dying. She was dying. Then it was done.
The light was gone. She was dead.
So...how was it? I haven't ever killed April in any of my stories before. I wanted to make it emotional, not 100% if I was able to pull it off like I wanted. I know that Don seemed to not take as much action, I was trying to get the emotional stuff right. I have a horrible track record when it comes to romances or romantic situations. My only success was with Raph who is really easy to write, but who doesn't love a challenge, right?
Well, let me know what you think. Reviews are always welcome. I love ramblers, they give me extra motivation to write the oncoming chapters. Looking forward to hearing from you! Thank's for the read!
